Ok so it's Christmas... Here's my Alternate Carol for the season
"Christmas Crims"
Shopper:
Dashing through the snow, with cash to give away
To the shops I go, cursing all the way.
Bells on shopdoors ring, making spirits slump,
What pain it is to shop and these songs give me the hump!
Store Owner:
Jingle tills, jingle tills, ringing in the crowds!
O what fun it is to charge as much as we're allowed.
Jingle tills, jingle tills, ringing in the crowds!
O what fun it is to charge as much as we're allowed.
Shopper:
A day or two ago, I thought I'd buy a gift
But then I went and dropped the thing in that really huge snowdrift;
The socks got wet and stank, misfortune was my lot;
And so I had to go again and buy another lot!
Store Owner:
Jingle tills, jingle tills, ringing in the crowds!
O what fun it is to charge as much as we're allowed.
Jingle tills, jingle tills, ringing in the crowds!
O what fun it is to charge as much as we're allowed.
Shopper:
But now the laugh's on him, I really have to say
'Cos I went to Jim, who's gifts fall off of sleighs!
I have some Kalvin Cleins and some Ormani shirts
And the best thing of the lot, the price was cheap as dirt!
Both:
Jingle tills, jingle tills ringing in the shops
O what fun it is to get one past the cops!
Jingle tills, jingle tills ringing in the shops
O what fun it is to get one past the cops!
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