It's pick on martybabe week...again!

[martybabe]

I wasn't gonna put this out, because it's trivial really but I gotta moan at someone and it don't look like Helen Clark's gonna pop round for a coffee any time soon.

Any twitchers (bird watchers) on here? Three times it's happened now, I take the dog for a walk in the local park and get dive bombed by Kamikaze birds.WTF. Whats that about, they harass and bully me and the dog all the way round the park.Inches away from my face,I've never seen anything like it, squawking tweeting lil bugger sods. It's not nesting season, I dont give off birdy Pheromones. I know I look a bit like Uncle Remus but I make it quite clear I don't want a farking blue bird anywhere near my shoulder. .
Their about three inches long,brown on top orange underneath, very long tails and they hunt in packs of three or more. One wears sunny's and has got tattoos, clearly the ring leader. Fluttering f#ckwits!

Moan two. I just got my new NZ licence With my ugly mug on it and it looks like uncle Festers prison release papers. I showed it to the neighbours little girl and she cried, she gets right on my nipples that one. Why do I need a new licence, whats wrong with a UK one, whos country is it. Oh yeah it's yours innit.

I'm going for a ride now, no doubt the petrol will have gone up 50% since I went to bed,the house is a mess, the dog smells and I've just found some rust on the bike. Great steaming poo dollops, arse tits crap!

Have a nice day and be careful out there..........and relax.

[inlinefour]

I've got a target slug pistol with a telescopic sight should you want to take out the ring leader. Just let me know and I can get it out for you.

[MIXONE]

Were you wearing anything red?Magpies attack people in red and they could be cousins!Or simpley pom hating kiwi birds.
Out of bling but.

[martybabe]

I've got a target slug pistol with a telescopic sight should you want to take out the ring leader. Just let me know and I can get it out for you.

I'll get back to ya, somethings gotta be done, bloody dogs no use, Couldn't catch a cold. Maybe a tennis racket,I'll show em how to fly.

[mowgli]

Moan two. I just got my new NZ licence With my ugly mug on it and it looks like uncle Festers prison release papers.

Like this? So it's been a good weekend then?

[Disco Dan]

[MIXONE]

Hitchcock's "the Birds" anyone?

[Boob Johnson]

He he, yeah that's just Magpie's dude, they will have a nest close by & you are inside the "the circle of death"


I used to have one as a pet, great birds, very intelligent, actually got on the front page of the Daily News with him years ago, he used to sit on my shoulder while I ride my (push) bike

[Hinny]

He he, yeah that's just Magpie's dude, the

Dude, Magpies ain't "about three inches long,brown on top orange underneath, very long tails".
Sounds like swallows to me. Feeding on the bugs he has disturbed on his walk.

[MSTRS:Me]

Dude, Magpies ain't "about three inches long,brown on top orange underneath, very long tails".
Sounds like swallows to me. Feeding on the bugs he has disturbed on his walk.

Yup. Or he's got kooties??

[martybabe]

Like this? So it's been a good weekend then?

Thats bang on, stick a NZ flag on it and some numbery crap on the right of it and you got my licence right there.

2nd piccy is bang on, somwhere in there is me and the stupid mutt.

Dude, Magpies ain't "about three inches long,brown on top orange underneath, very long tails".
Sounds like swallows to me. Feeding on the bugs he has disturbed on his walk.

Pretty close, ther not swallows , well not as I know em, but they sure do some funny shit wizzing around, might be after the bugalugs.

Yup. Or he's got kooties??

I don't know what a kootie is ya speaker of foriegn english ya but I'm sure I aint got em.

[MSTRS:Me]

I don't know what a kootie is ya speaker of foriegn english ya but I'm sure I aint got em.

Well...no...not anymore.
Ohhh...look...the birds have had 'em.

kooties = nits

[Mom]

Moan two. I just got my new NZ licence With my ugly mug on it and it looks like uncle Festers prison release papers. I showed it to the neighbours little girl and she cried, she gets right on my nipples that one. Why do I need a new licence, whats wrong with a UK one, whos country is it. Oh yeah it's yours innit.

Great steaming poo dollops, arse tits crap!

Maha man looks like he has a kowhaiwhai pattern tatooed on his neck in his passport photo, we had to photocopy it once for some reason, he looked like a crim!

I have a few more words to add to your last sentence...

Bugger, bum, poohs and wees!

Works for me everytime!

[martybabe]

Well...no...not anymore.
Oh...look...the birds have had 'em.

kooties = nits

Oh, bloomin nits have ya seen my profile pic, nowhere for em to live on my heed.

Maha man looks like he has a kowhaiwhai pattern tattooed on his neck in his passport photo, we had to photocopy it once for some reason, he looked like a crim! :killing me

I have a few more words to add to your last sentence...

Bugger, bum, poohs and wees!

Works for me everytime!

Yay, that's the way, buggery bollox is useful too.

Right back to business, I have researched the b'stard birds in question( know your enemy) and the little mongrels shall be called NZ fantails and they do indeed feed only on the wing eating little buggy things that ya can barely see.

So it would appear they are in-fact buzzing round scoffing the insects me and stupid dog have disturbed,as someone said earlier. I therefore surmise it is not a personal attack and I would like to publicly apologise to the cute little shits.

[Hinny]

the little mongrels shall be called NZ fantails

Hopefully you have stopped to watch their antics rather than think they are out to get you. I think they are by far the cutest native bird. On the banks of the Arnold river, two years ago, I had seven land on my fly rod at one time. Twas really special.

PS I wouldn't say they were orange underneath.... more of a creamy yellow.

PPS. I believe the Maori think that if one flies into your house someone close to you is going to die. Bummer dude.