Aunty Riff Raff's KB matchmaking service

**Riff Raff** · 22nd January 2005, 19:17

Ladies, ladies! Step right up ladies.
I have pleasure in introducing a fine specimen of, erm, umm, er....... I have pleasure in introducing Hooks.

Hooks loves entertaining, cooking (he's a chef), riding motorbikes, putting up waifs and strays for the night, ummmm, did I mention that he's a chef, ummm, oh yeah he can also do excellent face plants from a wheelbarrow!

He comes with four house trained gnomes, his own burnout pad, a set of Ginzu steak knives, and a wheelbarrow!

If he sounds like the man for you, please take yourself to the nearest psychiatric evaluation unit and obtain a clearance before proceeding to PM this delectable man thing!

Edit: I forgot to mention - he's an absolute sweetheart too!

**James Deuce** · 22nd January 2005, 19:24

He's a very good drummer too!

**Redstar** · 22nd January 2005, 20:04

Hi ladies I'm Redstar.. When I'm not doing Charity for homeless kittens,poor things! I go for 100Klm runs to keep me fit and trim. The boat keeps me busy what with all the Staff training and stuff. My Butler Sven keeps my Lamborgini in order back at my Ranch in Long Island.

I like walks on the Beach at sunset and a Don Perineon with my Cavier and I only frequent this site for the chance of meeting the perfect Miss right someone who shares a common interest in Bikes, Silly I know but well one day I'll find the perfect one!

Did I mention the Poor Kittens?

PS I have a great sense of humour and play little pranks like farting in Bed thats funny and the smell of my feet that's to die for! and I like to..never mind

**StoneChucker** · 22nd January 2005, 21:03

I'm StoneChucker

Every week after I get my dole check, I head straight for the bottle store. I spend it all on cheap white wine, and get trashed behind the dumpster behind the bottle store. The police usually take me away, to sober up in the cells over night. I am happy to let a women sit with me, but she ain't getting none of my wine, so don't even think of asking!

I spend the rest of the week dodging the baycorp people, and my 3 ex's, who all want thier alimony cheques. I used to have a cheque book, but the pages were real good for rolling spliffs. I like fine food, but I'll eat whatever I find (this I am willing to share, with the right person).

Every Sunday I hitchhike to the top of the Takas, and reminisce over the time I used to have a bike. This doesn't last long, as the people I used to ride with usually get pissed with my sitting on their bikes, and tell me to hit the road. About this time, I take a dump on a blind corner to exact my revenge.

I'm looking for someone who can see past the smell of urea, and someone who thinks matted hair is cool. Experience in petty crime would be an advantage.

Open mindedness would be great, as the Wellington homeless community is big into swinging.

**Skunk** · 22nd January 2005, 21:12

Good Evening,

I smell like shit, got no money (my wife has it all), and the bike is a piece of shit.

I drink too much, can't hold down a job and fucked if I'm walking anywhere.

If you're happy in the kitchen and doing me washing give me a call.

**Riff Raff** · 23rd January 2005, 07:25

Originally Posted by StoneChucker

I'm StoneChucker..... etc

Why I just done been readin this, and now I'm hornier than a cow with one of them there arms with da big plastic sleeve on it shoved up it's bum. Jeez Stonechucker if it weren't for ....um.... something... I'd be hotfooting it to your door right now!

**StoneChucker** · 23rd January 2005, 07:38

Originally Posted by Riff Raff

Why I just done been readin this, and now I'm hornier than a cow with one of them there arms with da big plastic sleeve on it shoved up it's bum. Jeez Stonechucker if it weren't for ....um.... something... I'd be hotfooting it to your door right now!

That would be a long hotfoot... Hitchhiking is alot easier, especially if you have the legs for it. Noone stops when I show a little thigh?????
(well, except this one trucker, thats another story)

mwuahahaha

**inlinefour** · 23rd January 2005, 07:45

Been looking at your profile picture. Wanting to know that if someone gets to know you, do you loan yer bike out to em? Was hoping for a picture of you because at the moment I think the money would have to be on NC30 chick (provided that she does not mind lending her bike), as she has shown herself to us all through her profile. However I'm sure all single guys out there will have a pretty open mind

NC · 23rd January 2005, 10:17

Originally Posted by WINJA

I HAVE BAD LUCK WITH THE BITCHES SO CAN SOMEONE POINT ME TO A GOOD PORN SITE

You have to have a huge wanger AND know how to use it...

**Riff Raff** · 23rd January 2005, 18:35

Originally Posted by Honda

Been looking at your profile picture. Wanting to know that if someone gets to know you, do you loan yer bike out to em? Was hoping for a picture of you because at the moment I think the money would have to be on NC30 chick (provided that she does not mind lending her bike), as she has shown herself to us all through her profile. However I'm sure all single guys out there will have a pretty open mind

There's enough pics of me scattered round the site that I don't need one on my profile. And I'm not actually "on the market" so it's neither here nor there. And I did lend Two Smoker my bike....

**MadDuck** · 23rd January 2005, 18:46

wow Riff it appears the KB site is just chocker with (ahem) sexy eligible batchelors......brings a tear to the eye really

**FROSTY:Me** · 23rd January 2005, 18:47

giday--moaning pommy shit here. looking for a woman to cook and clean for me. I cant ride I cant sing and in bed its a disaster zone.
Ohh my son is also nicknamesd bart simpson and lives up to the reputation.
must be able to repair fairings cos I crash a lot

**aff-man** · 23rd January 2005, 18:59

Originally Posted by XJ/FROSTY

giday--moaning pommy shit here. looking for a woman to cook and clean for me. I cant ride I cant sing and in bed its a disaster zone.
Ohh my son is also nicknamesd bart simpson and lives up to the reputation.
must be able to repair fairings cos I crash a lot

Thought you were taken

. Let us younger fella's have a go

**FROSTY:Me** · 23rd January 2005, 19:09

yea well sunshine--Its a hard road finding the perfect woman.
She said that gargres are for boys and are dirty places
WTF -a woman scared to get her hands dirty