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Thread: Thoughts for the day!

  1. #1
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    12th November 2007 - 10:59
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    Thoughts for the day!

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is dry?

    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    What is the speed of darkness?

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

    Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

    If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


    Did you ever stop and wonder......

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
    these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

    Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

    Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

    Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

    If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    Stop singing and read on.......

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

    Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

  2. #2
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    22nd September 2006 - 11:26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dakara View Post
    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
    See...now I'm sure that works (well...with my remotes!!)...anyone actually know? more contact area?

  3. #3
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    24th January 2005 - 15:45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dakara View Post
    Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
    Every fucking day!

    Motorbike Camping for the win!

  4. #4
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    Who invented the need for maths?
    Reactor Online. Sensors Online. Weapons Online. All Systems Nominal.

  5. #5
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    Why do 24 hour gas stations have locks on the doors?

    Can chocolate fish swim?

    Why do other peoples farts smell disgusting and your own smell devine?
    Hello officer put it on my tab

    Don't steal the government hates competition.

  6. #6
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    31st December 2007 - 13:57
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    Why, when our computer freezes, do we just keep pushing more and more keys harder and harder and harder CTRL ALT DEL CTRL ALT DEL CTRL ALT DEL ESC ESC ESC SPACE SPACE SPACE!!!!!!!

    ..... can you tell I've had a really hard day at work ......?

  7. #7
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    a bird can fly but a fly can't bird.
    If you try to fail and succeed....what have you done?
    Why does X stand for a kiss?
    Why does O stand for a hug?
    Why is abbreviated such a long word?
    A cat always falls on her paws, and a sandwich – with butter down. What happens, if one should put a sandwich with buttered side up on cats back and let it fall?
    Cats land on their feet. Toast lands jamside down.
    A cat glued to some jam toast will hover in quantum indecision


    Curiosity was framed; ignorance killed the cat

    Fix a computer and it'll break tomorrow.
    Teach its owner to fix it and it'll break in some way you've never seen before.

  8. #8
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    I know fishes fart cause seen the bubbles

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by ynot slow View Post

    Why do other peoples farts smell disgusting and your own smell devine?
    Every owner will support their own brand.

  10. #10
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    "Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?"

    I do
    No body move... I dropped my brain

  11. #11
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    Why is dyslexia such a hard word to spell?

  12. #12
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    8th October 2007 - 14:58
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    I just had a thought for the day:

    Considering that ze Germans pronounce the letter 'v' as 'f' would suggest that Indian chefs have been planning the globalisation of the indian cuisine for quite a few centuries.

    Doubt it? Consider the dish Vindaloo.
    It is preferential to refrain from the utilisation of grandiose verbiage in the circumstance that your intellectualisation can be expressed using comparatively simplistic lexicological entities. (...such as the word fuck.)

    Remember your humanity, and forget the rest. - Joseph Rotblat

  13. #13
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    How much deeper would the Ocean be if there were no Sponges?

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