A man is driving around the back woods of Cornwall and he sees a sign
in front of a broken down shanty-style house:
"Talking Dog for Sale"
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the
backyard.
The man goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador
retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yeah," the lab replies.
After the man recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 and
they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed forces...Her
Majesties Royal Marines. You know one of their nicknames is "The
Devil Dogs."
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting
in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog
would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for
eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I
knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down.
I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up
for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near
suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible
dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess
of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants
for the dog.
"Ten quid," the farmer says.
"Ten quid? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"
"Because he's such a bullshitter .. He never did any of that. He
was in the Navy!"
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