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Thread: The joys of being British

  1. #1
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    The joys of being British

    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

    And finally.........

    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet............................

    Alledgedly official govt statistics!
    This weeks international insult is in Malayalam:

    Thavalayolee
    You Frog Fucker

  2. #2
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    Hmmm.... hasn't this already been posted on here recently, but with Australian's instead of Brits????
    Checkout my blog: www.wubboodesigns.com

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biff Baff
    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

    And finally.........

    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet............................

    Alledgedly official govt statistics!

    Fucking Hell!! :spudwhat:

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riff Raff
    Hmmm.... hasn't this already been posted on here recently, but with Australian's instead of Brits????
    Really? I dunno - I just cut n paste.
    This weeks international insult is in Malayalam:

    Thavalayolee
    You Frog Fucker

  5. #5
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    I thought the "joy" of being British was never being at a loss for something to moan about...
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hitcher
    I thought the "joy" of being British was never being at a loss for something to moan about...
    As opposed to never being at a loss for somebodies punctuation to moan about I guess

    Are you sure you're not a pom?
    This weeks international insult is in Malayalam:

    Thavalayolee
    You Frog Fucker

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hitcher
    I thought the "joy" of being British was never being at a loss for something to moan about...

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biff Baff
    As opposed to never being at a loss for somebodies punctuation to moan about I guess

    Are you sure you're not a pom?
    That should be "somebody's punctuation"...

    And no, a Pom I am not.
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  9. #9
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    awww you guys are always pickin on us...

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hitcher
    That should be "somebody's punctuation"...

    And no, a Pom I am not.
    hook

    line

    sucker
    This weeks international insult is in Malayalam:

    Thavalayolee
    You Frog Fucker

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riff Raff
    Hmmm.... hasn't this already been posted on here recently, but with Australian's instead of Brits????
    Yep - anyway 78% of stastics are made up
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  12. #12
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    SOMEONE is losing their touch *statistics*
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  13. #13
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    oooooo - you were lucky, Hitcher almost had you then!
    This weeks international insult is in Malayalam:

    Thavalayolee
    You Frog Fucker

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biff Baff
    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    Alledgedly official govt statistics!
    And i though the fork in the power socket was a bad idea
    Reactor Online. Sensors Online. Weapons Online. All Systems Nominal.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biff Baff
    oooooo - you were lucky, Hitcher almost had you then!
    I sense retrospective arse covering.
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

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