What's one of the stupidest things you've done as a kid?

[Boob Johnson]

I cant say because no one has ever been charged to date

[ManDownUnder]

Dad painting window, painting plank leaning against the house. Us kids saw the thing as a slide - not as the source of many splinters

... I'm lucky I still have balls...

[007XX]

Set fire to the neighbour's overgrown garden cos I was building a camp fire...I was 5, but I still remember the hiding my dad gave me.


At 9, I faked my dad's signature on my school reports for 6 months...that teacher was an ugly cross eyed toadstool but she finally caught on to the play. Needless to say, the hiding was once again painful!

One of the french disciplinary tool in the old days was a mini whip made of a short wooden handle with thin laniards of leather hanging off it. I can't recall exactly what I did, but anyway, I thought it'd be real clever to cut the laniards so Dad couldn't use that evil thing to express his dissatisfaction... well, blimey...he just used the handle eh!

Almost set fire to the whole building, aged 6 or so, after playing with the matches again, this time blackening the underside of some stairs. I learnt that day that ye, wood burns well!

Age 4, my mum took me to visit a GF of hers, and while they chatted, I was given the opportunity to look at some of the ladies pretty exotic fish in the tank. Mum gasped when she saw my pants really wet, and asked if I'd had an accident. The only accident was me wanting to take the pretty fishies home with us, and put them in my pockets...


I think that Sue Bradford would have thought my dad the Antechrist...but hell, I deserved every hidings I got!

[skidMark]

Age 4, my mum took me to visit a GF of hers, and while they chatted, I was given the opportunity to look at some of the ladies pretty exotic fish in the tank. Mum gasped when she saw my pants really wet, and asked if I'd had an accident. The only accident was me wanting to take the pretty fishies home with us, and put them in my pockets...

So thats why that part of a lady smells like fishys!!!!

[007XX]

So thats why that part of a lady smells like fishys!!!!

Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I would have hardly called myself a lady at age 4...

*even now, I don't really fit that description*

[mowgli]

What's one of the stupidest things youv'e done as a kid?

When I was about six or seven I somehow obtained an empty shotgun shell. I particularly liked the brass base and proceded to cut away the plastic casing. I wanted the rest of the plastic out but couldn't cut it out. In my wisdom I decided to throw it in the open fire and planned to retrieve it later when the ashes cooled. Little did I know that the empty shell had a live cap in it. My folks nearly shit themselves.
Thankfully the fire guard caught the shower of embers and the house didn't burn down

[skidMark]

Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I would have hardly called myself a lady at age 4...

*even now, I don't really fit that description*

Ive got no reply.

LOL

[skidMark]

When I was about six or seven I somehow obtained an empty shotgun shell. I particularly liked the brass base and proceded to cut away the plastic casing. I wanted the rest of the plastic out but couldn't cut it out. In my wisdom I decided to throw it in the open fire and planned to retrieve it later when the ashes cooled. Little did I know that the empty shell had a live cap in it. My folks nearly shit themselves.
Thankfully the fire guard caught the shower of embers and the house didn't burn down

Some mothers do have 'em lol

[Mikkel]

From before alcohol became the primary ingredient in the stupidity of my life:

When I was around 5 we were visiting my uncle and he'd just bought a brand new forklift. I was looking forward to seeing it. Patience has never been my strongest point, so I went out and started it up and then went in to ask him if he was coming along. He just about shit his pants - I didn't get it back then... but imagine the potential consequences had it not been in neutral.

There have been many, very big, fires. Sometimes spiked with spray cans and other exploding goodies. Once we even decided it would be cool to melt lead and cast small figurines... One of the guys' father was a mechanic and we got hold of a shitload of wheel balancing weights. Needless to say, our mothers thought it was a rather bad idea.

Insisting to my father that I knew how to drive a car - I didn't...

A mate and I once tried to make our own copy of Venice in my parents' veggie garden. A very muddy affair indeed!

There are plenty more, but most of them eludes me right now. How we survive childhood is a true wonder.

[martybabe]

Hmm, stole the groundsmans white paint sports field marker trolley thing and drew a huge naked lady on the rugby pitch at school, in the dark.

From the second floor the next day you could see two giant lopsided boobies and what looked like a road map of spaghetti junction. The Teacher said the nipples were very good as the cane bounced off my arse once more.

Found my Dad's retactable metal measuring tape and took it to school, as I'm playing with it after school the old man turns up to take me home (never picked me up before or since) and the bastard tape wont retract. My old man was a tyrant and he would have killed me if he caught me with sommat of his, so I shoved 2 or 3 metres of this unretracted metal razor tape down my undies and got in the motor.

I sat down, NOW the fuggin thing retracts!!!!, whir snap twang, ow ow fuggin ow. Dad looks at my mechanical sounding crotch, looks at me, smacks me round the head and drives me home so mom could stick a plaster on me willy.

Ah yes a farking good day, all in all.

[nighthawk]

I have often wondered how I survived my childhood, I grew up on the fringes of town and spent many happy days wandering the local hills and farms etc.
When I was about ten my brother and I spent a week at a mates place, his father had a huge workshop which we kids got full use of, much to his dismay after we turned a Leaf spring and several fence posts and a wire strainer into a very powerful catipult.
We could throw anything up to about 2kgs a hell of a distance, golf balls went best and I sure people half a km away would like to have caught up with us.
Another school holidays we found a two foot square mirror and used it to throw a reflection onto the hill opposite town, the local copper got most pissed with us when he finnally caught up with us, he had been receiving calls for days about UFO's etc from all the old ladies around town.

[Colapop]

Thankfully alcohol came along and has removed most of the memories of my stupidity....

[icekiwi]

6 yr old putting finger into bedside lamp socket....
It was the bulb blown...it didn't run out of electricity!!..

[Oakie]

Aged about 8 I guess ... the second, third and fourth time I put my finger into the same light socket and thought, 'What the hell was that!?' as my arm seemed to vibrate like a ... a ... a vibrating thing each time.

[slofox]

-Trying to pull the plug on the vacuum cleaner when my older brother was using it. Had been told "never touch the plugs" so I used a large (metal) key to lever the plug out with...got it down the back of the plug, shorted out the phase and neutral pins, blew the key to bits, blew the fuses, ran away - blamed my little (baby) sister...never ever did let on it was me.......

-opening the taranaki gate on a field full of cows and then pissing off quick...cows everywhere within minutes and "no I didn't see anybody...."

-jumping off the roof onto the lawn because older brother dared me to...no wonder my knees are fucked nowadays......

-lighting a match inside - held it under the armchair so "nobody would see". Set fire to the hessian underneath the chair and just took off - musta gone out on its own cause the house didn't burn down....

-digging a large hole in the veg garden, covering it with sticks, then paper, then soil on top to totally disguise it...caught the old man a few days later when he stepped into it....fortunately was out the day we caught him...hehehe

-lighting a cracker, putting it on the open window sill when mother was inside the room. It went bang but she went banger...got the shit beaten outa me for that one - she had a very short fuse my mum.....shorter than the cracker anyway.....

-crackers again - lighting a thunderflash, dropping it into a glass jar, screwing on the lid and running like hell.....talk about anti-personel weapons...glass for bloody miles around. Spent next two hours with yard broom......

-watching older brother and his mate wedging a large log into the local railway lines to "see if we could derail a train....."!!!! Guess it didn't work cause there were no reports of derailed trains in the news.....sheesh...KIDS!!!