Speed the &*%$ up!

**Sanx** · 7th July 2008, 20:27

On friday last, I returned to Auckland after spending the last four months in Brisbane. Over there, I was driving most days through Brisbane central and out down towards Coolangatta near the NSW border. Not once did I see the kind of semi-competent half-arsed excuse for driving that I've seen in Auckland on my return.

Average speed round town seems to hover around the 40kph mark - on a good day - with a green light simply serving as an indication that people should pull out their cage's user manual and try to work out which of those funny pedal things makes the car move. At intersections, gaps that an oil-tanker could pull out into are ignored; perhaps the average NZ driver really does require a written invitation. The exception to this is when there's a car within twenty yards, and then they'll pull out without the merest hint of a glance in the direction of oncoming traffic or the slightest attempt to accelerate up to something approaching road speed.

Can it really be that there's something in the nation's water or weather that makes the population simply incapable of driving, or is it simply that for the past nine years, those dickheads in parliament (ably helped by dickheads in blue) have been spoonfeeding the sheeple so much mis-information that the ability to think has been subsumed under the mindless propoganda reinforcing the myth that if you drive 1kph over the limit, you're a mass-murderer?

So, when I get elected dictator, one of my very first acts will be (after, of course, having the entire Labour and Green party locked up in cages for small children to poke sticks at) to remove the driving licences from every single person that currently holds one. In order to drive, they will be forced to take a new test, devised by yours truly, which will be focused on finding out if they know how to drive as opposed to being able to repeat, parrot-fashion, the dangers of speeding (as invented by the current government) and the relevance of the Treaty of Waitangi to the average road user.

Thank fuck I'm back off to Brisbane next week, otherwise you'd all be hearing about some brainless fuckwit being dragged out of their car and given a good going over with a tyre iron.

/rant

**MisterD** · 7th July 2008, 20:35

Dictators are sooo 20th century...you should be a tyrant, or maybe a despot.

**trumpy** · 7th July 2008, 20:42

Originally Posted by Sanx

.......or is it simply that for the past nine years, those dickheads in parliament (ably helped by dickheads in blue) have been spoonfeeding the sheeple so much mis-information that the ability to think has been subsumed under the mindless propoganda reinforcing the myth that if you drive 1kph over the limit, you're a mass-murderer?...../rant

Got it in one..........

**Sanx** · 7th July 2008, 20:45

Originally Posted by MisterD

Dictators are sooo 20th century...you should be a tyrant, or maybe a despot.

Job title is yet to be decided, but I will have minions. Please submit applications with resume in Word format together with a covering letter explaining why you'd be good at oppressing the masses to jobs@helenclarkmustdie.com

**Pussy** · 7th July 2008, 21:01

Originally Posted by Sanx

Job title is yet to be decided

Something like.... the most revered fucken you beaut do what you're fucken told Sanx... that's got a nice ring to it!

Love the way you think, Sanx!

**GIXser** · 7th July 2008, 23:36

well said my friend and so true... now lets get onto our ethnic statistics for crime..

**brendonjw** · 7th July 2008, 23:53

couldnt agree with you more. The NZ licence system is a joke. The word fail apparently hurts peoples feelings so driving instructures are encouraged to use it as little as possible

**owner** · 8th July 2008, 00:28

I think they are all stoned!.It's the only excuse I can make for the fuckwits that are incapable of driving at speed,without getting in anyone else's way
After europe, NZ driver suck ass they suck, If you want to get past they take it as a personal insult. HI holt SANX

**Bikernereid** · 8th July 2008, 00:42

Although my bevoled OWNER rates European drivers highly I must disagree. For the most part those Europeans that live on the continent know how to drive. Being a Brit and sadly having to live here again for the moment, I can say with plenty of esxperience British drivers are fookin useless.

Yes some of them can drive at speed, but lack the skills to do it properly and without endangering the lives of nay poor sap that happens to share road space with them at any given point.

Sanx I will always be one of your minions because I can't think for myself! Do I sound like a Kiwi yet?

**BOGAR** · 8th July 2008, 08:38

I would reply with some good comment but i am waiting for the letter from Helen C to tell me What to say.

But yes, after going to Australia and seeing their driving you wonder if it is the water or something.

**Finn** · 8th July 2008, 08:45

Originally Posted by brendonjw

couldnt agree with you more. The NZ licence system is a joke.

It doesn't really have anything to do with the license system. Let's face it, we're an Island nation of laid back loafers, content watching the world pass us by while we aimlessly wander the land in our Toyota Corolla's.

I've always said you can tell a lot about a nation by the way the populous drive their vehicles. NZ is sleepy and unaware. Challenge them on it and they'll attempt to rip your head off.

Sanx, great post mate.

**DarkLord** · 8th July 2008, 10:15

I know what you mean bro. I get so angry at these pricks who sit doing 45 in a 70 zone and get angry at me for sitting behind them. They can never ever look at themselves and say "I am going too slow" nooooooooooooo. It's always someone else's fault even though he's doing 45 in a fucking 70 zone!!!!!!!!!!!!

"How dare you get pissed off at me for going way under the speed limit! It's not my fault it's yours!" Some cage drivers only deserve a damn good bashing. No doubt we can be at fault as well but I get so angry when someone who is so clearly in the wrong tries to pass the blame onto someone else.

**enigma51** · 8th July 2008, 10:21

Come on sanx your just being a POM again

**Sanx** · 8th July 2008, 10:49

Originally Posted by enigma51

Come on sanx your just being a POM again

Well, duh, I am a Pom. It's my cultural right to whinge endlessly.

**FROSTY:Me** · 8th July 2008, 11:11

Ultimate irony. Campbell live last night.

NO 4 air bags are NOT the ultimate safety equipment for a car

Cool you got my attention -sounds good matey

The answer instead is better anti skid tecnology so the idiots can get in the shit and the car will get them out of it

OHH FFS-----

Yea how about improving driver training? How about remove the nanny and accept personal responsibility