When is it too soon?

[hayd3n]

Hmmm - zero posts and joined today. Also in Dunedin. Anyone know this person, or is it the ex indulging in some subterfuge?

hehe probably

[avgas]

Sleep with him and find out.
If he is too emotional afterwards when you say "that was fun....but..." then you don't want him anywho.

[fatzx10r]

Na, I say take the time to sort yourself out first and hopefully your ex. You might find he has either been trying to change his ways or is the same. If he has, let him prove it to you first before you decide what to do next. You might find that spark you and him had when you first started seeing each other. I remember the good times, not the bad. Its so much easier to do. And surely after 10 months you too must have some good memories together to become serious with each other?

WTF. why don't you just go and hook up with her ex if you that keen. or are you the same person???

[hayd3n]

You really think people are going to believe you aren't him?
All what happened, do you know what happened?
Just becasue you clicked female on a internet website sign up doesnt mean you are (plenty of people have got into trouble with that silly assumption!)

++ true dat

[mstriumph]

You forget that most of us miscellaneous cyberpeople are boys, and that Miss Lonely_wolf is now available.

I bet she cares plenty.

silly me :slap:

[SixPackBack]

Obvious 'shooter' is the BF.
Dude stop hassling the girl and FUCK OFF, you bashed her and lost out

[Lonely_wolf]

You really think people are going to believe you aren't him?
All what happened, do you know what happened?
Just becasue you clicked female on a internet website sign up doesnt mean you are (plenty of people have got into trouble with that silly assumption!)

Thankyou for your input. He has already done the whole subterfuge thing. You might remember Dragon_ninja and Bouncer_man? Both him. And this one sounds exactly the same.....

[Trudes]

Short answer, move on when it feels right to you and let this guy know that your feelings for him have changed.

[hayd3n]

No I am not a male, not last time I looked or her ex and as it is, I have a guy, He's not the one that I let get away thou, but eh, he will do for now. lol at least till my ex becomes free again Cause he was dam good to me but I never noticed till after I ended it with him and now I kick myself for it

apologises for assumption

[hayd3n]

You say you too have been serious for the latter 8 months of your relationship, Why would you want to talk to other guys for?

why cant she?????
we are all human and some of us can keep it in our pants

[Owl]

Last time I checked repeating something over and over doesn't make it corrent

Sort of like "Sorry, I didn't mean to bash you"!

[Lonely_wolf]

why cant she?????
we are all human and some of us can keep it in our pants

God forbid you could actually be friends with a guy without fucking them hey? Most my friends are boys does that make me love my guy any less? Hell no!
What deluded world do you live in?

Thank you so much for your opinions. The ex just did not realize that I Am a tom boy and i DO get on better with males than I do with females

[Mutley]

This is kinda one for the girls but a guys point of view would be helpful also. I have posted this question on other sites and also asked all of my friends but us "crazy" speedfreaks seem to think different to "normal" people.

Long story short, I broke up with my partner about two weeks ago and want to know when it is morally ok to start dating again?

We knew each other for 10 months and have been serious for the latter 8 of those. He became really controlling and wanted to rule my life. He wouldn't even let me talk to other guys in the end! The day that I left him, he got really violent (I won't go into any details), and I ended up having to get the cops involved.

Now I know someone that I get on really well with, I feel more myself with this guy than anyone I have ever met before. I told this guy not so long ago that I just wanted to have a really good mate and nothing more. Ever since then, he has completely backed off saying that he wanted to wait for things to "cool down" before seeing me again.

So, what do I do? Any advice from anyone?

Sounds like you may have a really good friendship with this new guy and it would be a shame to jeopardise it by coming on too strong. Give yourself time to adjust to being independent again. It may take a while.

......

Violence is NEVER ok, I am rather disgusted you seem to think this is justified...you seem awful keen for them to get back together when you dont know the situation (or do you?)

Agree. Violence is never ok.

I just know what it feels like to be with someone and then it goes to custard and you look back and go "shit I was at fault too" And then later on you see then down the street with someone new and you see how happy they are together and you think that could've been me and when you talk to him, you see how much he has actually changed. And then you know in yourself that he was the one for you, I know I can never get that guy back again and its my loss

Thats life.
There are always two in a relationship, so there are always faults on both sides. However violence and controlling behaviour in a relationship is unhealthy and not ok. This type of behaviour is usually not a one off and is quite often repeated in a relationship no matter how genuine or remorseful the offending party is.

[SixPackBack]

wow you two are so far off the mark. I repeat again..... I AM NOT THE EX OR THE BF, but reading what she has said I am only putting my personal input out there like everyone else and giving my free advice. Just from my life lessons.
She can take them if she wants to or not.

I call bullshit. Your interest in lonely wolf is a lot more than personal input.

[Mom]

I don't want to give things another try with this guy, things are well and truly over for me. I don't feel anything for him anymore.

But how does your ex feel? If he is saying he's sorry and wants to make things right then give him a chance. I wouldn't let 10 months go cause things went bad at the end, think why they went bad? How much did you help to make things go bad? I am sure its not all one sided.

Seriously girls! This is a biker forum, you are talking heartache and angst, relationships and hurt feelings. Please take this waaaay off the forum. I am sure there is a really cool place to talk complete tripe, but this is not the place.

People are going to start taking the piss if you dont It may even have happened already!