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Thread: Has New Zealand gone soft?

  1. #151
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    Quote Originally Posted by FROSTY View Post
    Holey cow you really don't get it. Aiming to be the best -striving to be the best means that is what you are aiming for. Falling short is still passing. Aiming to "just pass" means falling short is actually failing.
    Would you enter a race to finish or to win?
    1) Learning isn't competing. The analogy is a stupid one.
    2) That notwithstanding, Fat Albert vs Usain bolt...not much point in talkin up Fat Albert (he might be fat but it doesn't mean he's dumb)
    3) You obviously think his teacher's opinion is more influential than yours. I tend to think she has a better idea of his academic capacity...and perhaps level of interest in school
    4) Your child's life is his life - not an extension of yours

  2. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by FROSTY View Post
    Wysper I dig the triathletes point and your point re music etc. Maybee I'm just not phrasing it correctly.Aim to be the best in whatever you do is all I ask for.
    Emphasis on the word AIM
    Simple, the old man (you) and old lady need to ask their kid is he doing his best? Is he getting to where he is aiming? If not why not? Does he need to try harder and have a better attitude towards school? What's holding him back?

    There is a damn good chance the teacher can't change this kid if he doesn't want to be changed. The teacher sure as hell can't raise his IQ, though I hear dope can lower it forever.

    If the kid sees the light, he will kick arse to prove the teacher wrong because she has laid down a challenge really as to what level she sees him at. If he doesn't agree with her it is in his hands to make the difference. Take responsibility for his own actions. How often do we hear that, but it is the only answer?

    Someone mentioned losers in youth gangs - well its all in the mind - they see themselves as the winners, smarter and tougher than the rest, rebellious, cool etc not the losers. Its a mind game, and clearly your boy has taken the easy route at the moment and that's how the teacher sees him.

    Remember the saying "if you say you can, or you say you can't, you are right" that's because the individual is the main driver of their personal outcomes. No use blaming it on someone else like a teacher.

    In summary - kick his fricken arse and tell him to pull finger so he aint a loser.
    Cheers

    Merv

  3. #153
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    Quote Originally Posted by merv View Post
    Someone mentioned losers in youth gangs - well its all in the mind - they see themselves as the winners, smarter and tougher than the rest, rebellious, cool etc not the losers. Its a mind game, and clearly your boy has taken the easy route at the moment and that's how the teacher sees him..
    Sadly so true Merv - too many only look inward at their 'cool' mates - they don' realise that there's a great big world out there, most of which doesn't even realise these 'cool' kids exist.
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  4. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by merv View Post
    Remember the saying "if you say you can, or you say you can't, you are right" that's because the individual is the main driver of their personal outcomes. No use blaming it on someone else like a teacher
    Hey I agree with about all you posted merv. My view always is "the buck stops here" I just hate someone with influence over how a kid thinks is actively encouraging them to accept being average or even below average.
    The way I see it -if enough people tell you that you are stupid or ugly etc eventually you start to believe it. It takes towering self confidence not to let it get to you.
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  5. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by FROSTY View Post
    The way I see it -if enough people tell you that you are stupid or ugly etc eventually you start to believe it. It takes towering self confidence not to let it get to you.
    Except she told you he was average...and maybe she's right

  6. #156
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    How do you account for those who are exceptional students and have exceptional careers ahead of them in any field they choose, yet decide that they'd rather have fun instead? Was just watchin those twats on Close Up deciding what skills the kids of today need... too many subjects at school etc... stunning that they come to these realisations about 20 years too late and will probably still do nothing about it. What teachers say and how things turn out seldom matter. One of my best mates was a dumb as 2 short planks, academia wise, but he had to have been one of the most talented joiners I've ever seen. Brains ain't everything by a long way. Whilst I agree with try to do your best, no kid should be pushed into anything under the guise of achieving or losing.

    It ain't a fuckin competition, it's Education!
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  7. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by FROSTY View Post
    Sorry to do a classic thread dredge but this exact conversation came up again tonight.
    One of the lads form teachers has pissed me off so much I almost hit her. and I never hit a woman.
    The conversation went 'Oh the lad just has to accept hes not going to get top marks at school and aim just to pass"
    What really frightened me was that she genuinely couldn't understand the concept of aiming to WIN. Aiming to be the best.
    Set the bar at the highest level and falling short is a pass
    Set the bar at "just passing" and falling short is to fail
    "Ohh well he just has to accept he may have to redo the year." was the response.
    Maybee I'm just too old for this world we live in today. maybee being mediocre is the norm.
    But I'll be fucked if I'm gonna encourage any of my kids to strive to be average.
    As a parent, and as a single parent since my kids were quite young I can understand what you are trying to say. My oldest although quite intelligent was not interested in sitting in classrooms, or doing anything Academic at all. This caused more than a few disagreements between us as like most parents I wanted only the best for him. He has got himself a job in a trade that he really enjoys, and is doing well. is he a Loser, or a winner? He is doing a job he enjoys, contributing to society and doesn't have a huge student loan to pay off for something that he doesn't want to do. On the other Hand my Daughter who works really hard to pass exams and unit standards is planning on going to Uni to get a degree to follow a career path she has had her heart set on since she was quite young. The difference between them isn't one of intelligence, but of having the goal and knowing where they want to go.

    During teen years it seems that some kids can make those goals and work towards them, and others can't.


    What you need to try to do is find a reason for Baby Bikie to want to excel to the best of his ability in the Academic classroom. Then the rest well become easy.

    you need to create the self motivation/desire, and determination to reach Academic Goals. Does he have a Dream Job/ career he wants to follow? What sort of Qualifications are needed?

    Then look at paying for extra tuition in subjects where he needs the extra support if you can.



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    My own goal at the moment is work out how to pay for 4 years of uni, as I don't believe it is fair to saddle young people with $80 K debt to get a education.
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  8. #158
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    Quote Originally Posted by Howie View Post
    My oldest although quite intelligent was not interested in sitting in classrooms, or doing anything Academic at all. This caused more than a few disagreements between us as like most parents I wanted only the best for him. He has got himself a job in a trade that he really enjoys, and is doing well. is he a Loser, or a winner? He is doing a job he enjoys, contributing to society and doesn't have a huge student loan to pay off for something that he doesn't want to do.
    That is one very good point that goes unnoticed.
    Schools vigorously push the academic pathway and are blinkered to other options. Perhaps Frosty's lad is more interested in more "hands-on" activities and an educational pathway that leads on to a trade profession or career?

    "Academics" are a bit blinkered once they have been through the indoctrination machine.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FROSTY View Post
    Wysper I dig the triathletes point and your point re music etc. Maybee I'm just not phrasing it correctly.Aim to be the best in whatever you do is all I ask for.
    Emphasis on the word AIM
    I hear ya frosty.

    Just for me, it is the "aim to be the best in whatever you do is all i ask for" part that I would disagree with.

    To make a ridiculous example for my point.
    I want a piece of toast. Do I spend the time and effort to make sure the butter is perfectly spread, the dead right thickness. Then apply the vegemite, not too much, not too little. Don't fold it over cause vegemite toast is best eaten as an open sandwich. Don't start too soon or the toast is too hot and the butter melts to much.. and so on and so forth.

    Course I don't, I just make myself a piece of toast with vegemite on it.

    Sometimes you just want the piece of toast and that is fine. Other times you might want the best darn piece of toast the world has ever seen.

    One of the skills is picking which time is which.

  10. #160
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swoop View Post
    That is one very good point that goes unnoticed.
    Schools vigorously push the academic pathway and are blinkered to other options. Perhaps Frosty's lad is more interested in more "hands-on" activities and an educational pathway that leads on to a trade profession or career?

    "Academics" are a bit blinkered once they have been through the indoctrination machine.
    I really don't know what you mean. Look how they have improved the manual classes, no longer do you do wood work, metal work, sewing and cooking but now you get the new improved material technology. No longer do you have to struggle to be able to dress a piece of wood and make a useful magazine rack but now you get to design, make and market it. More frigging marketing wallies and no one that can build quality.

    Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people. --- Unknown sage

  11. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneofsix View Post
    No longer do you have to struggle to be able to dress a piece of wood and make a useful magazine rack but now you get to design, make and market it. More frigging marketing wallies and no one that can build quality.
    I think you know what I mean...
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  12. #162
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    Quote Originally Posted by FROSTY View Post
    He really struggled with that concept.
    Remember at school they are now taught on the play field, that there are no winners or loosers... They can't play bullrush, climb trees (and fall out of trees) not allow to have "best" friends all friends are equal... and now a school in Aussie is saying no to cart wheels and hand stands...


    basically answers your question there really...

  13. #163
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swoop View Post
    That is one very good point that goes unnoticed.
    Schools vigorously push the academic pathway and are blinkered to other options. Perhaps Frosty's lad is more interested in more "hands-on" activities and an educational pathway that leads on to a trade profession or career?
    "Academics" are a bit blinkered once they have been through the indoctrination machine.
    Sorry guys I'll rephrase a little. The AIM is a pass in NCEA level 1. The main part of this Im concerned with is passes in Maths and english.
    Correct me if Im wrong but NCEA level 1 maths is the maths you need on a day to day basis regardless of the type of work you do. be it builder,cabinetmaker,sparkie etc.
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  14. #164
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    Quote Originally Posted by NighthawkNZ View Post
    Remember at school they are now taught on the play field, that there are no winners or loosers... They can't play bullrush, climb trees (and fall out of trees) not allow to have "best" friends all friends are equal... and now a school in Aussie is saying no to cart wheels and hand stands...


    basically answers your question there really...
    Reminds me of this e-mail that circulated a few years ago

    TO ALL THE KIDS WHO
    SURVIVED THE

    1930's 40's, 50's, 60's & 70's!!

    First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

    They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

    then after that trauma, our cots were covered with bright colored
    lead-based paints.

    We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our pushbikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

    As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

    Riding in the back of a Ute on a warm day was always a special treat.

    We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle!

    We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

    We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drink with sugar in it, but
    we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

    We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back
    when the streetlights came on..

    No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

    We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down
    the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the
    bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

    We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no
    99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chatrooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

    We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

    We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

    We were given slingshots for our 10th birthdays,
    made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

    We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang
    the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

    Under 12 footy had tryouts and not everyone made the team Those who didn't
    had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

    The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.
    They actually sided with the law!

    This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers
    and inventors ever!

    The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

    We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

    HOW TO
    DEAL WITH IT ALL!

    And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!


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  15. #165
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    Quote Originally Posted by FROSTY View Post
    Hey I agree with about all you posted merv. My view always is "the buck stops here" I just hate someone with influence over how a kid thinks is actively encouraging them to accept being average or even below average.
    The way I see it -if enough people tell you that you are stupid or ugly etc eventually you start to believe it. It takes towering self confidence not to let it get to you.
    My mirror tells me every day I am average ugly but I don't believe it. Inside is a Dan Carter lookalike just waiting to be unleashed...
    You don't get to be an old dog without learning a few tricks.
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