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Thread: k mart service

  1. #1
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    6th November 2004 - 14:34
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    K MART SERVICE

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, " My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at K Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars ...a lot cheaper than a doctor."
    So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to K Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ K Mart."
    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
    Joe hurries back to K Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
    Thank you for shopping @ K Mart

  2. #2
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    31st July 2004 - 12:00
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    haha


  3. #3
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    16th September 2004 - 16:48
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    Bit like that,
    "Watch for Slow Children" sign - makes you feel like your at a zoo
    Reactor Online. Sensors Online. Weapons Online. All Systems Nominal.

  4. #4
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    7th November 2004 - 11:00
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    Hehe, good one
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  5. #5
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    8th August 2004 - 17:16
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    No caps

  6. #6
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    31st May 2003 - 12:00
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    KTM Duke. Last ridden.....?
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    Ha! Very good

  7. #7
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    17th September 2004 - 21:20
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    Quote Originally Posted by alarumba


    No caps
    copy. paste. PLESE JUMP UP MY BUTT YUO MANTURNIP!!!##2
    Eat the riches! Eat your money! The revolution will be DELICIOUS!!!

  8. #8
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    6th November 2004 - 14:34
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    Quote Originally Posted by alarumba


    No caps
    NO CAPS CAUSE I STOLE IT

  9. #9
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    12th August 2004 - 10:00
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    Quote Originally Posted by WINJA
    NO CAPS CAUSE I STOLE IT
    was gunna say that you C&P'd it but didnt wanna go thru that again.....

  10. #10
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    31st July 2004 - 12:00
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    Sort of obvious...

    How else do you get jokes. VERY few people make up their own jokes, or GOOD ones at least. So ofcourse the ones you hear are copied from somewhere/someone.

  11. #11
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    20th December 2004 - 11:00
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    In thrust we trust

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