Aunty Riff Raff's great fart poll

**Riff Raff** · 18th January 2005, 15:54

Well it just had to be done, didn't it?
Two polls in one - vote in both

**hXc** · 18th January 2005, 16:01

Yeah, of course it had to be done. Why didn't I think of it

**jrandom** · 18th January 2005, 16:25

What on earth is a 'queef'?

**Slipstream** · 18th January 2005, 16:45

Look what happens if you don't do a good one

**Riff Raff** · 18th January 2005, 17:26

Pick the day you were born on (i.e. 5th, 6th etc.) to see what kind of farter you are...
I was born on the 28th - says it all really!

1-AMBITIOUS FARTER - Always ready to fart.
2-LAZY FARTER - Just fizzles
3-AMIABLE FARTER - Likes to smell others farts.
4-SELFISH FARTER - Only enjoys smelling his own farts.
5-CARELESS FARTER - Farts in church, restaurants, and department stores without even an iota of shame.
6-SMART ALEC FARTER - Farts when girls are in the room.
7-CLEVER FARTER - Farts and coughs at same time.
8-SCIENTIFIC FARTER - Keeps his or her farts in jars with the dates on them.
9-STINGY FARTER - Belches instead of farting to save his butthole.
10-FOOLISH FARTER - Farts and laughs, while others cry.
11-SHY FARTER - Can only fart on a deserted Island.
12-CONCEITED FARTER - Thinks he can fart the loudest.
13-UNLUCKY FARTER - Tries to fart and soils his underwear.
14- TIMID FARTER - Is emotionally shaken by the sound of farts.
15-BEWILDERED FARTER - Unable to distinguish between their farts and others.
16-SLOVENLY FARTER - Farts refuse to leave underwear, it's nice and damp in there and they can stick around.
17-NERVOUS FARTER - Farts very tight squeaky half farts, keeps the rest for the privacy of his or her own home.
18-MISERABLE FARTER - Can't fart unless he or she is in the privacy of their own home.
19-CONFUSED FARTER - Has such bad breath he or she can't tell where the smell is coming from.
20-GROUCHY FARTER - Swears at his or her farts.
21-SNEAKY FARTER - Farts, cups the noxious cloud tightly between his or her cheeks, then waits for someone else to get up or make a move to lift cheek.
22-DISAPPOINTED FARTER - Their farts don't stink.
23-FRESH GUY FARTER - Turns around in front of you and farts.
24-BIG BULLY FARTER - Farts louder, longer, and smellier than everyone elses.
25-VAIN FARTER - Deeply moved by the smell of farts.
26-CLAIRVOYANT FARTER - Can tell what others have eaten from their farts.
27-WISE FARTER - Farts and say's "Who dropped their guts?"
28-DAMNED MEAN FARTER - Farts in bed and pulls the covers over partner's head (aka the Dutch oven)
29-MUSICAL FARTER - Tenor or bass, Clear as a bell, Smells like shit, Sounds like a tuba
30-HONEST FARTER - Farts and blames it on others or the dog.
31-LIVELY FARTER - Jumps up in air, toots three times, kicks simultaneously.

**crashe** · 18th January 2005, 17:36

Riff Raff.... are you bored.... ??
and do you need something constructive to do...lol

So when are you going back to work??????
:spudwave:

:spudwave:

Or do you need to go out and ride your bike???

**Storm** · 18th January 2005, 18:11

Good to see RR making constructive use of all the spare time!!

So how is your neck coming anyway?

NC · 18th January 2005, 18:12

LMAO dutch oven

**Riff Raff** · 18th January 2005, 18:15

Originally Posted by Storm

Good to see RR making constructive use of all the spare time!!

So how is your neck coming anyway?

It's coming along. All going well I should be back at work on 27 Jan. I'm procrastinating today - I should be reading the first four chapters of Basic Arrhythmias before my exam on Monday. Eeek

**riffer** · 18th January 2005, 18:16

Originally Posted by jrandom

What on earth is a 'queef'?

psst Dan, its also called a fanny fart...

Storm ... are you sure that's what you meant to vote for?

**jrandom** · 18th January 2005, 18:22

Originally Posted by celticno6

psst Dan, its also called a fanny fart...

Jeez, that sounds awfully dodgy.

I guess I'm not too surprised that Riff Raff would know dodgy words like that...

**Riff Raff** · 18th January 2005, 18:28

Originally Posted by jrandom

Jeez, that sounds awfully dodgy.
I guess I'm not too surprised that Riff Raff would know dodgy words like that...

Really - that's odd since I only discovered the word today when YOU used it in our little MSN chat and gave me the online dictionary reference so I could read the definition:
an expulsion of wind from the vulva during coitus; a vaginal fart.