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Thread: Election 2008

  1. #1
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    Election 2008

    Whilst this is humorous, it's a bit too close to the truth to be passed off as a mere joke. Consequently I wasn't really sure where to post it - politically minded mods can feel free to move elsewhere if so desired.

    *There is an 'Old Version' and a 'Modern Version' .. Two Different
    Versions! ** **Two Different Morals!

    OLD VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays

    the summer away. **

    **Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

    The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: **

    **Be responsible for yourself!

    -------------------------------------------

    MODERN VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays

    the summer away.

    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
    demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
    while others are cold and starving.

    TV1, TV3 and Maori TV show up to provide pictures of the shivering
    grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
    table filled with food. New Zealand is stunned by the sharp contrast.

    How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper

    is allowed to suffer so?

    Kermit the Frog appears on Good Morning with the grasshopper, and
    everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

    Sue Bradford stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where
    the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' **
    **Gordon Copeland then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
    grasshopper's sake.

    Michael Cullen exclaims in an interview with John Campbell that the ant
    has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an
    immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share as the ant
    is too much of a "Rich Prick."

    Finally, the Labour Party drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper
    Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

    The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green
    bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
    confiscated by the government.

    Winston gets his old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
    defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of

    judges that Helen appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
    recipients.

    The ant loses the case.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
    the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens
    to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
    maintain it.

    The ant has disappeared in the snow.

    The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house,
    now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once
    peaceful neighbourhood.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: **

    **Be VERY, VERY careful how you vote in 2008!!*

    Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? ...He's a mile away and you've got his shoes

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by cs363 View Post
    **Be VERY, VERY careful how you vote in 2008!!*
    Political understatement of the year! John.

  3. #3
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    28th March 2008 - 18:43
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    yeah, unfortunatly you have to vote for someone... and I would much rather tell em all to fuck off, with all of the unemployment beninfits and all the other crap. In NZ a lot of poor people (not all but I bet the majority) are poor because they choose to live of the tax payers, and then they complain, even when we have something called intrest free student loans where you can become anyone you would like to be without needing to have a single bit of cash. But instead that part of population chooses the easy option of complaining and collecting the doll.
    ------------------------------------------------
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