Homemade Jokes

**The Lone Rider** · 9th September 2008, 01:12

Three jokes Ive made up while bored at work over the last 6 months

What does a hooker and a sock puppet have in common?

They both will say whatever you want when you shove your hand up their ass.

Did you hear that NASA has a contract with Durex to coat the new space shuttles? It's so that if the shuttle gets fucked on re-entry they still have some protection.

Mary had a little lamb
It tasted quite a bit like beef
McDonald's was never quite the same
when Mary shagged a sheep.

**1 Free Man** · 9th September 2008, 21:17

Originally Posted by The Lone Rider

Three jokes Ive made up while bored at work over the last 6 months

What does a hooker and a sock puppet have in common?

They both will say whatever you want when you shove your hand up their ass.

Did you hear that NASA has a contract with Durex to coat the new space shuttles? It's so that if the shuttle gets fucked on re-entry they still have some protection.

Mary had a little lamb
It tasted quite a bit like beef
McDonald's was never quite the same
when Mary shagged a sheep.

MY GOD DO YOU NEED TO GO FOR A GOOD LONG RIDE!!!!
you'll be talking to yourself next LOL

**Skyryder** · 9th September 2008, 21:26

Originally Posted by 1 Free Man

MY GOD DO YOU NEED TO GO FOR A GOOD LONG RIDE!!!!
you'll be talking to yourself next LOL

Yep my thoughts too.

Mary shagging a sheep? I thought it was the other way round. Didn't Mary have a little lamb?

Skyryder

**AllanB** · 9th September 2008, 21:30

What does a hooker and a sock puppet have in common?

They both will say whatever you want when you shove your hand up their ass.

Sir I think you have some issues - what they heck are you doing shoving your hand up a hookers arse?

And

If the above mentioned hooker did indeed let you shove your hand up her arse does that mean she is a 'crack-whore'?

**hayd3n** · 9th September 2008, 21:31

Q: What do Blondes and Noodles have in common?

A:They both wiggle when you eat them.

**Skyryder** · 9th September 2008, 21:44

Originally Posted by hayd3n

Q: What do Blondes and Noodles have in common?

A:They both wiggle when you eat them.

What do Blonds and Noodles have in common??

One you cook in hot water. The other will get you into hot water.

Skyryder

**hayd3n** · 9th September 2008, 22:29

yea but mines dirty

**Rollestonchick** · 9th September 2008, 22:41

Originally Posted by Skyryder

What do Blonds and Noodles have in common??

One you cook in hot water. The other will get you into hot water.

Skyryder

Very true

Originally Posted by The Lone Rider

Three jokes Ive made up while bored at work over the last 6 months

What does a hooker and a sock puppet have in common?

They both will say whatever you want when you shove your hand up their ass.

Did you hear that NASA has a contract with Durex to coat the new space shuttles? It's so that if the shuttle gets fucked on re-entry they still have some protection.

Mary had a little lamb
It tasted quite a bit like beef
McDonald's was never quite the same
when Mary shagged a sheep.

OMG you are bored at work

what do you do for a job again???

**The Lone Rider** · 9th September 2008, 22:48

well I thought they were pretty good jokes! :P

**Duke girl** · 10th September 2008, 08:13

Good on you for giving the jokes a go with a bit more practise you could publish your own joke book then those who sit back and criticise will have the last laugh. Heres a couple for you.
Woman are funny creatures. Wont give their husbands sex for weeks but will kill the first woman that does.
Sex is like your pay slip. You can't discuss it with anyone because then they'll know how little you get.
Husband saids to wife "My olympic condoms have arrived, I think l'll wear Gold tonight "wife says "why dont u wear Silver & cum f***ing second for a change".

**James Deuce** · 10th September 2008, 17:16

That Bill Gates; I'd like to give him a critical update.

**mud boy** · 10th September 2008, 20:08

Originally Posted by The Lone Rider

Three jokes Ive made up while bored at work over the last 6 months

What does a hooker and a sock puppet have in common?

They both will say whatever you want when you shove your hand up their ass.

Did you hear that NASA has a contract with Durex to coat the new space shuttles? It's so that if the shuttle gets fucked on re-entry they still have some protection.

Mary had a little lamb
It tasted quite a bit like beef
McDonald's was never quite the same
when Mary shagged a sheep.

took you 6 months to think that up?? thats proby the most funny thing!

**The Lone Rider** · 10th September 2008, 23:09

Originally Posted by mud boy

took you 6 months to think that up?? thats proby the most funny thing!

Points for effort, but you obviously don't know the difference between "it took me last 6 months" and "over the last since months"

**rustycharm** · 10th September 2008, 23:41

blonde girl in a car crash says "i think i have concussion" Paramedic asks "how many fingers have i got up?" She replies "Oh my God... my pussy's paralysed!"