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Thread: Homemade Jokes

  1. #31
    Join Date
    26th November 2007 - 18:52
    Bike
    DRZ400smK10 & Rm250k7
    Location
    here & there
    Posts
    546

    Subject: Jamaican Job Interview

    Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers,
    represent the number 9."

    "Without numbers?" The Rastaman says. "Oh, dat dere is easy," and
    proceeds to draw three trees.

    "What's this?" the boss asks.

    "You no see it, mon? Tree and tree and tree make nine, nuh?" says the
    Rasta.

    "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here is your second question. Use the
    same rules, but this time the number is 99."

    The Rasta stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that
    he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.

    "'Ere you go"

    The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to
    represent 99?"

    "Each of da trees him dirty now! So it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and
    dirty tree. Dat is 99. 'You tink I no got brain?"

    The boss is getting angry as is worried he's going to have to hire this
    Rasta, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again,
    but represent the number 100."

    The Rasta stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture
    again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree,
    and says, "Ere you go, mon. One hundred."

    The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that
    represents a hundred!"

    The Rasta leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each
    tree and says, "A little dog come along, seen, and crap by each tree. So
    now
    you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and
    a turd, which make one hundred... So when I start, boss?"
    Fook Yeah!...Me Got DRZ400sm Now!

    & still can't spell for shit!

  2. #32
    Join Date
    1st January 2007 - 09:16
    Bike
    Yamaha TDM
    Location
    Gold Coast of QLD
    Posts
    933
    A bloke walks into a bar with a octopus..
    sits it on a chair....and shouts out..
    This octopus can play any mussical instrament.....
    Anyone care to try....
    A man walks up with a guitar.and sure enough the octopus strums a tune on it...

    A while later another man walks up with a trumpet...
    And again the octopus plays it....

    A scotsman walks up with a set of bagpipes and gives them to the octopus..
    The octopus throws them to the ground and starts wrestling them.

    You can ney play them says the scoty...
    The octopus looks up and says...
    play them....iam going to shag the fuckers....as soon as i can get her pyjamas off............

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