WHO said POETRY should be boring

[Nasty]

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:



1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.


2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.



3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.


4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.


5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.


6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.


7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.


8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!


9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?


10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'


11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING

[Number One]

Haikus from departing employees....I love the third one and only wish I'd seen it about two jobs previous!!!

That grass looks greener.
Get a giant card, then walk.
The next gig awaits.


Hours spent in building
Knowledge, friendship – out the door
A better offer


Sweet sorrow they say,
unless you didn't like them
much in the first place

[fire eyes]

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love that one nasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha

[Hitcher]

Playing fetch with Spot
is dangerous when the bones
he brings back still move.

[Hitcher]

I hunger for your
delicious cerebellum.
Where's the ice cream scoop?

[Shadows]

What amateurs.

I swear I would follow you to the ends of the Earth
To kick you in the cunt so you won't give birth.

[fire eyes]

What amateurs.

I swear I would follow you to the ends of the Earth
To kick you in the cunt so you won't give birth.

[Ryder]

A woman whose name was McMackey,
Had a build that was notably stackey,
'Til two boards in her mattress,
Gave way to her buttress,
And she's now a hunchbackey, by crackey.