Tit Pants: - A Bra.
X-Piles: -= Unwanted visitors from Uranus Air Buffet: - A lingering gaseous meal, larger than an air biscuit.
Armbreaker: - Particularly energetic wank.
Arse Spider: -Tenacious well knotted winnit that cannot be removed without bringing 8 spindly hairs with it.
Audition the finger puppets: - A single-act, one man show not suitable for children.
Autograph the gusset: - To allow the turtles head to sign the inside of your underpants.
Bacon strips: - External female genitalia.
Barnes Wallace: - The type of turd that sends a splash of water onto your undercarriage after release from the bomb bay.
Beaded curtain: - A luxuriant crop of clagnuts.
Beef box: - A container into which sausages are put.
Benny Hill: - Rhyming slang, female contraceptive.
Biffer: - A particularly hairy minge.
Bilge tanks: - "Double gut" effect caused by too tight a belt.
The blind dirt snake: - A malodorous, legless lizard inhabiting cak canyon which migrates south every morning.
Brown Daisy: - Unpleasantly scented flower which attracts flies rather than bees.
Budgies tongue: - Descriptive, the female erective bit!!
Bum Goblin: - A gnarled malevolent turd that jumps out behind you casting a painful spell on your ringpiece!
Burma: - Acronym, "Be upstairs ready my angel" See POLO.
POLO: - Acronym "Panties off, legs open!"
B.V.H: - Abbr, "Blue veined hooligan" A six inch tall, one eyed skinhead.
Chugnuts: - Extremely large piles.
Cider Visor: - Beer goggles for the younger drinker.
Clapping fish: - Female genitalia.
Cliterature: - One handed reading material.
Cockoholic: - One who is addicted to cockahol.
Conkers deep: - To be in a state of deep penetration.
Cough your filthy yoghurt: - Romantic expression for ejaculation.
Crunchie: -A sock worn the morning after being used as a wank-mop.
Dingleberry roast: - Lighted farts.
Disco fanny: - The full strength flavour achieved after 6 hours on a dance floor in PVC trousers.
Ditch Pig: - Affectionate term for an ugly fat girl.
Dizzy Gillespie: - A formidable blast from the spunk trumpet where the ladies cheeks puff out like a bullfrog's.
Double basing: - To have sex from behind while fiddling with the ladies left nipple with one hand and her budgies tongue with the other, a position similar to the one adopted for playing the double bass, though the sound is slightly different.
Drop fudge: - Pinch a loaf, crimp one off, have a shit!
Drown some kittens: - To drown a litter of small stools.
Eating sushi off a barber shop floor: - Cunnulingus.
Face fannies: - Sideburns.
Feeding the pony: - One handed feeding of a lady's toothless gibbon.
Fertle, ferkyfoodle: - To feed a lady's pony through her dung hampers.
Five pinter: - A very ugly woman you would only chat-up after five pints.
Fizzy gravy: - Rusty water, diahorrea.
FLAME: - Abbr, Fanny like a mouses ear
Flat as a kippers dick: - Descriptive of unleavened baps.
Free the tadpoles: - To liberate the residents of ones wank tanks.
Fuckshitfuckshitsuckshit: - The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.
Fud Slush: - Scottish fanny batter usually smeared on the face when eating a haddock pastie.
Funbagtastic: - Exclm, may be uttered when seeing a large pair of breasts.
Fuse-wire: - A ginger persons gorilla salad.
Geetle: - The little pointed bit that hangs outside your rusty sheriffs badge after you've had a Gladys.
Gladys: - Rhyming slang, To defecate, from Gladys Knight.
Granny's oysters: - Elderly female genitalia.
Greyhound: - Very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
Hairy Scallops: - Furry shellfish to be eaten when bearded clams are out of season.
Hand-to-gland combat: - Vigorous three minute bout of gladiatorial combat involving a Spam javelin.
Hefty-clefty: - Welly top, horses collar. Descriptive of a large vagina.
Kojaks moneybox: - The German helmet.
Lord of the pies: - Salad dodger, barge arse, Danny Baker.
Mexican lipstick: - Embarrassing facial tide mark found after eating out.
Men in the rigging: - Small tagnuts found in the hairs of sailors arses.
Ming the merciless: - Death by chocolate starfish.
Monkey bath: - A bath so hot when lowering yourself in you go Oo! Oo!
Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!.
Mumrar: - The act of creeping up on your mother and shouting Rar!
NORWICH: - Acronym, Knickers off ready when I come home Opera house: - A large vagina, with heavy pink safety curtains.
Pie-Liner: - A Femidom.
PIK: - Acronym, Pig In Knickers.
Pumpers Lump: - The condition of enhanced right arm muscle due to excessive wanking.
Quim Chin, Muff mouth: - A bearded fellow.
Release the chocolate hostage: - To liberate Richard the third.
Ripped out fireplace: - A much swept out skin chimney.
Roy Castle's last blow: - A pathetic whimpering fart.
Rubik's: - Rhyming slang, gorilla salad.
Splinge: - A particularly lubricated Kipper Mitten.
Starfish Trooper: - An Arsestronaut..
Testiculate:- Waving your arms in the air and talking complete bollocks.
Tongue Punchbag, Small man in a boat: - See Budgie's Tongue.
Two Bagger: - Someone so ugly that two bags are required, one to cover their head and one to cover yours in case theirs falls off.
Up on the blocks: - Monthly MOT failure due to recurring leak under the Beatle Bonnet.
UTBNB: - Advisory abbr, Up the bum, No babies!
Walnut Whip: -A minor operation that removes the cream but leaves the nuts intact.
Wet as an otters pocket: - Descriptive as to the moistness of a ladies kipper mitten.
Wuffle nuts: - The fruits of the dingleberry tree.
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Originally Posted by bomma
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