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Thread: Australian ventriloquist

  1. #1
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    Australian ventriloquist

    An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a
    small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He
    figures he'll have little fun.
    Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?"
    Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
    Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
    Dog: "Doin' all right."
    Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)
    Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (Pointing at the Kiwi)
    Dog: "Yep"
    Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
    Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food
    and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
    Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)
    Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
    Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
    Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
    Horse: "Cool"
    Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
    Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Kiwi)
    Horse: "Yep"
    Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
    Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
    brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the
    elements."
    Kiwi: (total look of amazement)
    Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
    Kiwi: "The sheep's a big liar!

  2. #2
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    The names of the participants in this joke have been changed to protect Cowpoos innocence - *tui moment*
    They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the evening,
    we will remember them

  3. #3
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  4. #4
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    Hmmmmm I tried searching several times before posting this.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishslayer
    Hmmmmm I tried searching several times before posting this.
    Shoulda just asked sniper to begin with
    "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."

  6. #6
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    Just as funny second time round. HA HA HA Sheep shagger

  7. #7
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    Aussie ventriloquist‏

    An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a Small
    > village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.
    >
    > He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi
    >
    > 'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'
    >
    > Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'
    >
    > Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'
    >
    > Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'
    >
    > Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)
    >
    > Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (Pointing at the Villager)
    >
    >
    > Dog: 'Yep'
    >
    > Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'
    >
    > Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and
    > takes me to the lake once a week to play.'
    >
    > Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)
    >
    > Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'
    >
    > Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'
    >
    > Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
    >
    > Horse: 'Cool'
    >
    > Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
    >
    > Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)
    >
    > Horse: 'Yep'
    >
    > Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
    >
    > Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me
    > down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the elements.'
    >
    >
    > Kiwi: (total look of amazement)
    >
    > Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'
    >
    > Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar..'
    We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
    Running over the same old ground.
    What have you found? The same old fears.
    Wish you were here. QWQ

  8. #8
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    Wrong the Aussie was the sheep shagger lol.Was a kiwi ventriloquist the joke I heard.
    Hello officer put it on my tab

    Don't steal the government hates competition.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by ynot slow View Post
    Wrong the Aussie was the sheep shagger lol.Was a kiwi ventriloquist the joke I heard.
    But you would say that!!!
    We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
    Running over the same old ground.
    What have you found? The same old fears.
    Wish you were here. QWQ

  10. #10
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    Shit yeah,like the joke-What's the differance between shagging a sheep or a blowjob from Helen Clarke?

    Nothing if ya don't look down.
    Hello officer put it on my tab

    Don't steal the government hates competition.

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