Humor for the day!

**cruzer** · 27th January 2005, 13:59

A bit of academia to brighten your afternoon!
Subject: Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student
was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing
in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into
Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will
go to Hell.Since there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at
the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that
in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
my Freshman year that, 'it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you', and take into account the fact that I slept with her last
night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is
that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby
proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,last night,
Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY 'A'.

**Slipstream** · 27th January 2005, 14:03

Originally Posted by cruzer

A bit of academia to brighten your afternoon!
Subject: Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student
was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.

Heard this one before.....but still very funny

**Ms Piggy** · 27th January 2005, 14:27

Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.....followed by hah hah hah!

**Coyote** · 27th January 2005, 14:33

Bah, thats deserves an A+

**mini_hooks_** · 27th January 2005, 14:36

and he only got an A...i cant even say some of those words!!!!!

:unsure:

**Eurodave** · 12th May 2005, 16:29

EXCELLANT postulations & other big words

**Excal** · 12th May 2005, 16:39

Extremely hilarious

**MSTRS:Me** · 12th May 2005, 16:57

Could a kind Moderator please move this to the 'correct' thread

**DMNTD:Me** · 2nd February 2006, 14:32

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a year 3 university chemistry exam.

The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. *Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

*With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banning during my first year at university that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take

into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, "Oh my God., Oh my God ! ! Yes, Yes, Oh God Yes ! !"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

**SpeedyGirl** · 2nd February 2006, 14:39

Most excellent!

**MidnightMike** · 2nd February 2006, 14:43

Hahaha, that there is excellence material

**Coyote** · 2nd February 2006, 14:43

Haha, very good

**Maha** · 2nd February 2006, 15:03

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm wonder if the writer of this chemistry exam is a male or female ?? Teresa may have slept with a chick, that would be acceptable in Hell but not Heaven

hot or cold, down under could be worth a trip before heading skywards