Can/will you add a verse?

[Biff]

Ahem SS - you've missed out someone very important!!
Sigh - being back at work and not posting as much you get forgotten so easily!

Oh Riff Raff, of Riff Raff, prey what's in a name
Your tales of buttock jovialities
Drive me insane
Your anal antics must cause you some pain
Signed yours "concerned KB'er" named almost the same

[Yokai]

Our dearest slipstream
Is far too good to us
She'd give out just one happy scream
Just to have a verse

But on I go and give her two
(I know you'd give her one)
And realise I don't have a clue
As to how to finish this last line in a way that isn't as rude as when I started out.

[Yokai]

Now Vifferman is in a rut
His job ain't what it oughter
Be and soon I know he'll just cut
And run from his firms outrageous wordsmith slaughter

I love that Hitcher's twisted songs
That appear in his dot sig
They appeal to our assembled throng
and inspire to dance some jigs

And Roller (holy he may be)
Pours oil on waters troubled
And wipes the froth from our Zed's mouth
When out it all has bubbled

Milky and his bro PT
Round out this sections bunch
Of ingrates misfits, fam-i-lee
Hey - who's gonna buy me lunch?

[vifferman]

Slipstream (a FREakay-naughty) girl
Entreats us all to "give it a whirl"
Can we / will we write a verse?
With hers so good, ours must be worse.

OK, young Mistress - I'll have a shot!
It could be crap, it may be snot.
Write a verse or two, you say?
Rabid doggerel's more my way.

Most Kiwi Bikers, I have yet to meet
But those I have, were quite a treat.
In person: just a very small group
On-line, however, a veritable troop.

jrandom has wisdom beyond his years.
(nothing between young mikey's ears).
MikeL's a most erudite gent
And wkid's likely rather bent.

TwoSmoker's just a "slow-riding nana"
Cajun's half man and half banana.
Lynda flies the Ducati banner
In an almost militant manner.

It's corrupted some of the other gurrrlz
Who regard her spouting as gold or pearls.
So Riff Raff, DebK (maybe more of youse?)
Lust for Ducatis more than shoes.

Our mechanic friend Motu likes to travel
On roads paved with dirt or even gravel.
Not for him the asphalt highways
He'd rather traverse the quiet byways.

That bloke called R1AaronKDX
May like hooning even more than sex.
He entreats us to join him in flouting the law
Coz otherwise riding is such a bore.

(Crikey! It's suddenly dawned on me
A huge task it could prove to be
To 'immortalise' in verse the very many who
Waste time on here, like "you know who". )

There's some like Scumdog who I've grown to like
Even though he rides "that kind of bike"
And is one of our Boys in Blue
He's a Kiwi Biker, through and through.

Whatever happened to that GoatFood guy?
Has he gone to the goat world in the sky? :spudwhat:
Blakamin's been made a KB demigod
He gets his name in bold, the lucky sod.

Of forum whores, we have one or two
Whose postings number more than a few.
Much of what is said is nought but dross
To delete it would be no great loss.

Others - like Hitcher - have words of gold
(Perhaps not when Gubmint lies are told...)
To read his wordcraft sure is a treat
His reputation can't be beat.

My doggy's doggerel is rather lame
Might be time to stop this game
Before I get to my usual stage
Of too many words upon the page.

So winding down, I'd like to say
One last thing, before I go away.
Some of you I'll likely never meet
But I'll wave if I see you riding down the street.

If you see the VifFerraRi howling by
Ridden by this decrepit mental guy
Please don't be a snob, wave back at me
Your newest best friend, I'll try to be.

[Biff]

Biff Baff, Biff Baff he is the man
He could ride faster than young Aaron can
But choses not too, by choice and because
A few more demerit point, and a licence to loss

Biff - you are a stallion, an example of style
Your good looks and charm and those posts you compile
Some think you're a demi-god, a class leading legend
Others less fortunate consider you a knob-end

Oh how do you keep all your ladies at bay
With your powerful stature and hot bedroom play
Whatever you say I know must be true
Because I'm an egotistical schizophrenic, how about you?


....oiiiiiii, who said that? ....and relax.

[Blakamin]

so who's putting it all together and selling it on trade me???

Slipstream, your talents are indeed wasted!!!
along with Stoney, Yokai, Vifferman, Biff Baff (and anyone else I forgot) and who could forget the Trashman himself... that one rocked... reminds me of my favourite poem from "idiot box"

you are an idiot,
you are a bitch,
you shit me to tears,
I'm goin down the pub!

[vifferman]

Biffy Baff, Biffy Baff,
What are they feeding you?
Biffy Baff, Biffy Baff,
Your verse is crap and your bike is poo.
(With apologies to Phoebe on "Friends"....)

-----------------------------------

There was a young man called Biff Baff
Whose name was like that chick called Riff Raff
So compelling was his aim
To achieve some KB fame
That he wrote some verse that was very naff.

[Cajun]

Slipstream (a FREakay-naughty) girl
Entreats us all to "give it a whirl"
Can we / will we write a verse?
With hers so good, ours must be worse.

OK, young Mistress - I'll have a shot!
It could be crap, it may be snot.
Write a verse or two, you say?
Rabid doggerel's more my way.

Most Kiwi Bikers, I have yet to meet
But those I have, were quite a treat.
In person: just a very small group
On-line, however, a veritable troop.

jrandom has wisdom beyond his years.
(nothing between young mikey's ears).
MikeL's a most erudite gent
And wkid's likely rather bent.

TwoSmoker's just a "slow-riding nana"
Cajun's half man and half banana.
Lynda flies the Ducati banner
In an almost militant manner.

It's corrupted some of the other gurrrlz
Who regard her spouting as gold or pearls.
So Riff Raff, DebK (maybe more of youse?)
Lust for Ducatis more than shoes.

Our mechanic friend Motu likes to travel
On roads paved with dirt or even gravel.
Not for him the asphalt highways
He'd rather traverse the quiet byways.

That bloke called R1AaronKDX
May like hooning even more than sex.
He entreats us to join him in flouting the law
Coz otherwise riding is such a bore.

(Crikey! It's suddenly dawned on me
A huge task it could prove to be
To 'immortalise' in verse the very many who
Waste time on here, like "you know who". )

There's some like Scumdog who I've grown to like
Even though he rides "that kind of bike"
And is one of our Boys in Blue
He's a Kiwi Biker, through and through.

Whatever happened to that GoatFood guy?
Has he gone to the goat world in the sky? :spudwhat:
Blakamin's been made a KB demigod
He gets his name in bold, the lucky sod.

Of forum whores, we have one or two
Whose postings number more than a few.
Much of what is said is nought but dross
To delete it would be no great loss.

Others - like Hitcher - have words of gold
(Perhaps not when Gubmint lies are told...)
To read his wordcraft sure is a treat
His reputation can't be beat.

My doggy's doggerel is rather lame
Might be time to stop this game
Before I get to my usual stage
Of too many words upon the page.

So winding down, I'd like to say
One last thing, before I go away.
Some of you I'll likely never meet
But I'll wave if I see you riding down the street.

If you see the VifFerraRi howling by
Ridden by this decrepit mental guy
Please don't be a snob, wave back at me
Your newest best friend, I'll try to be.

YAY someone finally remember the king banana

[Biff]

Oh Viffer you poor man
your drugs are not working
this crap from your orrafice that appears to be spouting
"vifferrarris" and "vvrrrrooms" you cannot be well
that stuff from your mouth is brown and does smell

The new drugs should kick in any time soon
and once again you can go to your home on the moon
to help you would be such an honourable task
but if i wanted an arseholes opinion i'd ask

[vifferman]

Oh Viffer you poor man
your drugs are not working
this crap from your orrafice that appears to be spouting
"vifferrarris" and "vvrrrrooms" you cannot be well
that stuff from your mouth is brown and does smell

The new drugs should kick in any time soon
and once again you can go to your home on the moon
to help you would be such an honourable task
but if i wanted an arseholes opinion i'd ask

It's sad, but true - I do talk shit
(Some strange people can't get enough of it).
Others - like you - wish I'd shut my e-gob
And go get myself a proper job.

Drugs you say? Hmmm... there's a thought.
I should take my dose of those ones I've bought.
Or better still, go take a long ride
On that VifFerraRi you sought to deride.

But I live in D'Auckland, and the weather's no fun
And my luncheontime is nearly all done.
So back to work, my sad arse I must drag
To earn some more money to pay for all my toys, and my credit card bills, and the trip to Blenheim tomorrow, and the mortgage. Oh yeah - and I'm getting a bit behind with things this week, because like Yokai said, this a lame place to work (nearly as lame as my poetry), but it's a job. Someone's got to do it, I guess...

[Waylander]

Here is a member of most repute,
whos name is a shining beacon so bright!!
You know with this you cannot dispute,
Hitcher has 6 blocks some dark and one light.
And with this much he cannot be mean,
so please oh please bless me with some green!!!

[Hitcher]

Here is a member of most repute,
whos name is a hining beacon of light

A "hining"??

[Waylander]

it has been fixed

[Yokai]

It seems to me a war of words
Is brewing in this corner
Over which of you is spouting turds
(or which pile is the warmer)

But Biff Baff is a taffy man
And we all know their rep
They like the sheep (or so we've heard)
And wear velcro gloves to get a better grip.*

And Viffer - well he's just bored
Of writing words in books
That no-one reads and won't adore
Of course he gives us funny looks

But take a leaf from HR's tome
And come to some accord
For KB (the site) is like your home
Or else I'll mark your posts "ignored"

And for those who read this missive through
I know they're only playing
But without the smilies that we use
Who can tell just what we're sayin?

So on I work at the job near hell
(Viffer works next door!)
And ask you all to give a yell
Should any want some more!





*this line read with a Welsh accent...

[Yokai]

Now before you all pick up your pens
And slander me in verse
I'll point out that I've not been done
(I'm not sure if that's worse)

I tried to rhyme AD's name
But it all came backwards out
And now a naked vampire flits
for I left a letter out.

It seems that Hitcher's got some points
To make us all turn green
But Jim2 is chasing hard
With speed his bike ain't seen

I've changed the rhyming for this part
To mix it up a little
It makes it easy to rhyme fart
To make that Riff-raff giggle

And yes I know that assonance
Is getting the rhyme wrong
But I like the feel; romance,
And rappers use it in their songs