VOTE FOR ME - MBB for Fascist Dictator

[madbikeboy]

I'm going to overthrow the Government, and make a few small changes to the laws and processes in this country. I'm already growing a beard, and trying to choose some spiffy uniforms for my fascist militia (so far I've talked a street bum into a call to arms).

My policies are simple:

1. Motorcycles have right of way. We will ensure this by shooting any driver who runs over a motorcyclist. Even if the motorcyclist is blatently at fault.

2. All drunk drivers will be shot. And anyone texting while driving. And any woman found playing Abba in her car will be sent to a concentration camp for attitude readjustment.

3. All politicians will be beheaded. The money saved will go towards Winston Peters defense fund, his Fiji holiday fund, and education in the meaning of the word "no".

4. Due to the problem of our exchange rate dropping, we will build more printing presses, and distribute more money. This worked really well in Germany after the wall (aside from that little hyperinflation problem, but like any half assed political type, I'm making this up as I go along).

5. I will be acting head of Transportation. We will set fire to all buses, all SUV's (unless they are towing a race bike trailer), and we will make cagers drive in a single lane in each motorway system, thus freeing up more racetrack space for bikes. I'm also going to buy the rail system, and make road transport incredibly uncompetitive by raising RUC's - and since I run the country, I'll gag the Commerce Commission.

6. All speed limits will be erased. There will be awards to the fastest times between cities for my motorcades, and if someone should complain, I'll put the drivers who will be following my orders up for charges.

7. Shortland Street will be banned. All their actors (pah!) will be shot. Helen's beauty therapist will also be shot for failing her job so badly.

8. We will spare Winston Peters and re-introduce the public docks - at lunch-time each day, you can rid yourself of your rotten produce by throwing them at this clown. We need something to remind ourselves of how corrupt it was before my fascist overthow/coup d'etat.

9. I'm going to buy all the state owned assets, making the previous honest and hardworking merchant bankers rich and white. Oops, I mean I'll shoot the merchant bankers. No more America's Cup and their stupid rules.

10. I'm going to legalise P manufacturing, and make the people who make it go through the OSH process. That'll learn them. Then they will be shot!



Any other suggestions? Any volunteers?

MBB, Leader of the not so free World.

[snuffles]

Herr Dictator, where do i sign up to your party????

[CookMySock]

1-10 all good!

Ditch the beard though, or my mrs won't let ya pash her.

DB

[vifferman]

You didn't say what your policy was WRT beer.
I'm very tempted to vote for you, but only if you get rid of NZ-made versions 'imported' beer (Stella, Heineken, Tuborg, etc.), and stop the Big Two NZ breweries buying up boutique breweries.
Proper beer shouldn't taste like just another Steinlager.

[Tank]

Ditch the beard though, or my mrs won't let ya pash her.

She likes to be the only one with a beard huh?

[jim.cox]

Any other suggestions?

Flags, you need flags, lots of them

With lots and lots of strapping young blonde MBB Jugend Maedchen waving them...

[madbikeboy]

You didn't say what your policy was WRT beer.
I'm very tempted to vote for you, but only if you get rid of NZ-made versions 'imported' beer (Stella, Heineken, Tuborg, etc.), and stop the Big Two NZ breweries buying up boutique breweries.
Proper beer shouldn't taste like just another Steinlager.

That's a tough one. I'd need a minister of Breweries. And some of the hot looking models off the Tui adverts.

1-10 all good!

Ditch the beard though, or my mrs won't let ya pash her.

DB

I'm under orders from Ms MadBikeBabe. She likes it at the moment. Thanks for the offer of your Mrs though.

Herr Dictator, where do i sign up to your party????

Thanks for your support, you just need to arm yourself with a pitchfork / baseball bat / burning torch, and meet me on the steps of Parliament next Thursday - I have an hour in my schedule then, and afterwards we can go drink all the newly acquired free beer, then pash DB's Mrs.

[slofox]

You didn't say what your policy was WRT beer.
I'm very tempted to vote for you, but only if you get rid of NZ-made versions 'imported' beer (Stella, Heineken, Tuborg, etc.), and stop the Big Two NZ breweries buying up boutique breweries.
Proper beer shouldn't taste like just another Steinlager.

Agreed!!!!!

[TOTO]

I'm with you MBB. Got me a burning baseball bat, will meet you at parlament.

Btw,

11. All job aplicants must apply for the given job by doing a wheelie down the street. Whoever does the biggest wheelie, gets the job.

12. whenever entering a tunnel Motorcyclists are required to revv their engines as loud as possible.

13. Reintroduce canibalism. First we eat all people in jail - jail problem solved, then we eat the unemployes - unemployment problem solved.

(No13. stolen from another dickator)

p.s. When it becomes a dicktatorship, are you changing your name to Dick ?

[vifferman]

You didn't say what your policy was WRT beer.
I'm very tempted to vote for you, but only if you get rid of NZ-made versions 'imported' beer (Stella, Heineken, Tuborg, etc.), and stop the Big Two NZ breweries buying up boutique breweries.
Proper beer shouldn't taste like just another Steinlager.

That's a tough one. I'd need a minister of Breweries. And some of the hot looking models off the Tui adverts.

A most excellent reply!
As long as the models work at all places selling beer.

Ditch the beard though, or my mrs won't let ya pash her.

I'm under orders from Ms MadBikeBabe. She likes it at the moment.

What's up with that?
And where's the :spudwhat: emoticodweebicon when you need it? [insert it here] Will you be bringing it back, when you're Supreme High Fascist Dictator of The World, The Universe, And Everything?

Getting back to bearrrrrrdz. What's up with that? [:spudwhat: etc etc]
While I know that the vifferbabe likes me to have a fungus-infested face (probably because it's been like that more than not, in the last 30 years, and because it tickles... um... sensitive-skinned parts.. ), it bothers me somewhat.
In fact, it's driving me NUTS since I grew it back after returning from Yurp.
She says "You look better with it".
Is that code for, "You're a fucking ugly prick, so the more of you that's covered up, the betterer!" [:spudwhat: and all that] Not that that's a problem, as I decided to grow it back after reviewing the photos of Yurp (all 4200-odd of them) and deciding I was a fucking ugly prick, so the more of me that's covered up, the betterer. In fact, I was thinking about growing all the hair on my head (the few bits left on top, the sprouty eyebrows/nose hair/ear hair/facial fungus) and weaving it into a sort of hairy beehive thing, to completely obscure my head.
As a Public Service, of course.

Anyway - back to the Fascism Campaign. Keeep up the Good Work.

Oh - and if you have room in your Gummint, can I be one of those guys that patrols the roads of Noo Zilund in armoured gunships, blowing the fuck out of anyone driving erratically, too slowly, running red lights/stop signs, failing to indicate, talking/texting on cellphones, following too closely, failing to pull out of the way for bikes'n'scooters, or Otherwise Driving In A Fashion Designed To Piss Off Otherwise Normally Tolerant Motorists?
Can I, huh?

[Mikkel]

We don't want no pansy-arsed dictator who needs votes! WTF is up with that?

'tis democrazy that's the real problem.

However, shooting a lot of people is always a good start. I think you'll find mass hangings cheaper and more efficient though.

[chrisso]

Mein Gott im Himmel; If you get -I mean WHEN you get in power I shall return to NZ. I think your policies are still a bit too LEFT wing but we can work on that.
Can you ban Soccer, Homosexuals( Death Penalty) ,Income Tax as well?

[paulmac:Me]

Can I be Minister of justice ?? !! I have a shotty scabbard that fits on my front forks !! Please Please !!! ( and I can use a glock left handed !!)

[Swoop]

More info on the "chicks listening to Abba music" please!


Also, what is your policy on cyclist-people, who ride more than 2 abreast on the road? If it involves a short piece of rope and a steam-roller, count me in!

[Finn]

The unhappy truth is that MBB as dictator along with his "policies" would be better for NZ than our current Government.