VOTE FOR ME - MBB for Fascist Dictator

[vifferman]

We don't want no pansy-arsed dictator who needs votes! WTF is up with that?

Excellent point.
He'll have to co-opt the KiwiBiker Stormtroopers to take over the Gummint by ...er... storm.
Perhaps lead by a gaggle of bikers on FahrtSturmz.

[fatzx10r]

i'll be happy to help out with number #10. i can supply my own round's, LOL

[Blossom]

Wot about yr policys on txt language via email or fone... will u 4ce evry1 2 u's norml words? Will thre b public stockades 2 thro rttn food @ offenders?

If so... you have another supporter.
(I can also hide any offenders cell phones till they learn their lesson)

[vifferman]

.
(I can also hide any offenders cell phones till they learn their lesson)

Hide?
HIDE?!?!
WTF!?!
Their cellphones will be crushed! (unless of course, they're really nice, in which case they'll be confiscated, to be used by the KiwiBiker Stormtrooper Elite.
There'll be no political correctness under the new regime.

[Mikkel]

Also, what is your policy on cyclist-people, who ride more than 2 abreast on the road? If it involves a short piece of rope and a steam-roller, count me in!

Sounds terribly technical - giving them a good whack over the head with an armoured glove as you zoom by should get the point across nicely.

If you should happen to be in your car you'd just run into and over them obviously. Bonus points for artistic impression...

[laserracer]

WOWmy kind of dictator you got ma vote .. whats ya view on treaty of waitangi or the foreshore thing , not that im interested i just want to know who ya gonna shoot nexti say kill all chinese bike importers and crush the bikes , free booze for everyone,... and somebody please give aunty helen a head transplant... oooohhh i got one. how about only letting good looking women on your cabinet ..then i could really be interested in watching political broadcasts

[madbikeboy]

A most excellent reply!
As long as the models work at all places selling beer.

What's up with that?
And where's the :spudwhat: emoticodweebicon when you need it? [insert it here] Will you be bringing it back, when you're Supreme High Fascist Dictator of The World, The Universe, And Everything?

Getting back to bearrrrrrdz. What's up with that? [:spudwhat: etc etc]
While I know that the vifferbabe likes me to have a fungus-infested face (probably because it's been like that more than not, in the last 30 years, and because it tickles... um... sensitive-skinned parts.. ), it bothers me somewhat.
In fact, it's driving me NUTS since I grew it back after returning from Yurp.
She says "You look better with it".
Is that code for, "You're a fucking ugly prick, so the more of you that's covered up, the betterer!" [:spudwhat: and all that] Not that that's a problem, as I decided to grow it back after reviewing the photos of Yurp (all 4200-odd of them) and deciding I was a fucking ugly prick, so the more of me that's covered up, the betterer. In fact, I was thinking about growing all the hair on my head (the few bits left on top, the sprouty eyebrows/nose hair/ear hair/facial fungus) and weaving it into a sort of hairy beehive thing, to completely obscure my head.
As a Public Service, of course.

Anyway - back to the Fascism Campaign. Keeep up the Good Work.

Oh - and if you have room in your Gummint, can I be one of those guys that patrols the roads of Noo Zilund in armoured gunships, blowing the fuck out of anyone driving erratically, too slowly, running red lights/stop signs, failing to indicate, talking/texting on cellphones, following too closely, failing to pull out of the way for bikes'n'scooters, or Otherwise Driving In A Fashion Designed To Piss Off Otherwise Normally Tolerant Motorists?
Can I, huh?

Okay, answering this in order of importance. Yes, I'll supply the gunships and the ammo, and can you ensure that you manage to shot the shit of any black Rav4's, that way sooner or later my evil ex will be be taken out as well. And, can you please strafe the queue of traffic that was in front of me all the way from the airport, honestly, it's not that hard, the gas pedal is on the right (dumb assed cagers).

Facial hair. Ms MBB likes it. Something about making my face less visible makes me more attractive. She also likes the lights off, and occasionally she gets my name right in the throws of passion.

And most important - positions of power will be filled by underwear models, and chicks from beer commercials. I hope I don't appear sexist, but if I get to be a dictator, I'll shot anyone who says so out loud. Problem solved.

[madbikeboy]

Wot about yr policys on txt language via email or fone... will u 4ce evry1 2 u's norml words? Will thre b public stockades 2 thro rttn food @ offenders?

If so... you have another supporter.
(I can also hide any offenders cell phones till they learn their lesson)

A few weeks ago, I watched an attractive (but obviously dull) chick text while driving. Of course, the car in front of her that rapidly stopped her forward progress wasn't so amused. I reckon they'll all die out soon enough, but if we break the thumbs of txt language offenders, they'll get the fucking message aye.

[madbikeboy]

WOWmy kind of dictator you got ma vote .. whats ya view on treaty of waitangi or the foreshore thing , not that im interested i just want to know who ya gonna shoot nexti say kill all chinese bike importers and crush the bikes , free booze for everyone,... and somebody please give aunty helen a head transplant... oooohhh i got one. how about only letting good looking women on your cabinet ..then i could really be interested in watching political broadcasts

Forshore? My position is that the foreshore is in the right place, I mean, what would be the point of having sand and shit not very near the beach. As for the treaty of Waitangi - how else would sub par Law graduates make a living if it wasn't for the claims process?

Big tick to killing and crushing shitty bike importers (and there's gonna be a couple of bike shop people against the wall when my revolution comes (as well as a snotty bitch receptionist at one of the companies I work with)). Helen will be beheaded. You're more than welcome to do whatever you want afterwards, but be warned, you might end up with a little head. (geddit??).

[madbikeboy]

Excellent point.
He'll have to co-opt the KiwiBiker Stormtroopers to take over the Gummint by ...er... storm.
Perhaps lead by a gaggle of bikers on FahrtSturmz.

I was trying to be a benevolent dictator - the sort that asks if anyone objects, and if they do, we agree a solution, normally delivered with some napalm.

[Pedrostt500]

Can we shoot people who drive small cars, it would also be good if we could shoot greenies as well, in fact can we shoot any one wearing an angora cardigan, and who wear soxs with their sandals.
It would also be good if we can shoot any one who eats alfalfa sprouts.

[Little Miss Trouble]

Wot about yr policys on txt language via email or fone... will u 4ce evry1 2 u's norml words? Will thre b public stockades 2 thro rttn food @ offenders?

If so... you have another supporter.
(I can also hide any offenders cell phones till they learn their lesson)

Predictive text fixs that problem, just make it manditory. You can even teach it stuff, so now when ever I go to text the word 'test' 'tequila' also pops up

[1 Free Man]

MY GOD!!!!!
At last policys that will actually do something constructive.
I"M in where do I sign??

[Street Gerbil]

Ban commercial fishing, make gas for bikes and fishing boats exempt from all taxes and I am with you.

[vifferman]

I"M in where do I sign??

That's the beauty of Fascist Dictatorships - you don't have to do any actual hard work like signing, voting, etc. Just leave it up to MBB to stage a coup.
It'll save SHITLOADS in future not having to bother with election campaigns, advertising, and all that nonsense. More money to spend on Beer, Bikes and Babes.

Hmmmm... just had a worrying thought (yeah, just the one): I wonder if this thread contravenes that ridiculous Electoral Reform Advertising gubbins?

I guess not, as it's more a letter of intent, than anything else.