Stupid Question No. 72,463

[Bob]

Call from an end user (as us IT bods call everyone else):

User: "Hello, is Mark in today?"
Me: "No, he is off sick"
User: "Do you know when he will be back?"

When he is better, obviously...

I never knew my skillset was supposed to extend to remote diagnosis of ailments - without any communication with that person whatsoever... sigh.

[Blakamin]

hahahahaha... some people.....

[Biff]

I once caught a bus and asked the driver for a return ticket. He asked, "Where to?". I replied, "Back here."

[Skunk]

"Here's your sign"

[James Deuce]

Or:

"I just swapped the SIM cards between my phone and my Blackberry. How come neither of them work now?"

Or:

"The power just went off and I can't print anything. I really need to print this document. Hang on... My PC's not working now either. I f__king hate computers.... (click) bzzzzzzzz"

Or:

3rd Level Tech Support: "It's (blah) from (blah) calling for (xxxx). (xxxx) just logged a P1 call. Is he/she available?"

Stunned Mullet User: "Ahhh, I dunno. I think (xxxx) went home. Hang on for a sec.....(aside to co-"worker"): Is (xxxx) still here?...No....Righto....are you there mate? Yeah (xxxx) went home about an hour ago. He/She wrote me this note to log a call with you useless computer f__kwits. I don't know what it means but. I hate computers. My job was much easier without the f__king things."

3rd Level Tech Support: "Oh. I see. And are you still experiencing the problem? A P1 call usually affects the ENTIRE organisation, so we've contacted your boss, the CEO , my boss, and the head of my organisation to make sure that we can get you the help you need."

Stunned Mullet User: "That's a bit over the top for a broken mouse or rat thing, or whatever the fu__k it is. (xxxx) really wanted it fixed by tomorrow though."

New 3rd Level Tech Support Person, because the "Old" One Just wet his/her Pants and is Banging their Head On The Desk in Frustration: "We'll pass that onto the desktop engineering section who look after those calls. Someone will be out in the next working day to replace you rat, errr, mouse."

Stunned Mullet User: "Whatever. Now f__k off, I've got work to do."

(True personal stories (tm).)

[Sparky Bills]

I hate it when people ring and ask...

"Are you open?"

Well if im here to answer the phone, what the hell do you think!!!!haha

or...
or the other day someone came in and asked..
"Do you sell motorbike stuff?"

Im not trying to be an asshole, but come on. haha

[onearmedbandit]

Lighten up I think, sometimes its common for someone to be off sick knowing full well they will be back tomorrow, or the next day. Relevant question that doesn't really need the piss taken out of it. Same as answering the phone at work and being asked if you're open, I would think that during hours when its not bleeding obvious a quite polite question. What say you're still at work, or arrive early and choose to answer the phone because it could be your partner ringing?

What may be obvious to you, may be completely obscured for the person ringing in, you know, the customer who pays your wage.

[gav]

Yesterday Customer rings " Is Phil there?"
"No, he's not on site, I'll transfer you to his mobile"
bring bring " Look only got Phils answer phone, is he there?"
"ummm, noooo, thats why I transferred to his mobile, did you leave a msg?"
"no, can you transfer me again?"
"sure, no worries, have a nice day"

[bluninja]

I like the way Kiwis keep asking 'Are you there?' when you answer the phone

My all time favourite stupid work question is 'Do you know who I am?' it's just inviting a silly response.

Second on the list is 'How fast were you going?' if you're on the track, or talking on KB you exagerate upwards, and if stopped by the roadside you tell the truth ...of course

[jrandom]

Call from an end user (as us IT bods call everyone else)...

Not aimed at you, Bob, but...

I am sick, so totally fecking SICK, of IT people and their bad attitude.

I am sick of their condescension to people who, quite frankly, know five times as much about technology as they do, with their elite Weetbix-packet qualifications in button-pushing and shell scripting.

I am sick of the way that normal human beings go to work in IT support and immediately assume that somehow the rest of their organisation owes *them* something. Do secretaries think this, when someone asks them to take a phone call or type up a contract? Do cleaners think this, when they have to scrub a used toilet block at the end of the day?

I really, really can't stand all these snooty up-themselves "the BOFH is my hero" idiots who seem incapable of realising that they're actually low-level support personnel who need to grow a work-ethic gland.

[bluninja]

Not aimed at you, Bob, but...

I am sick, so totally fecking SICK, of IT people and their bad attitude.

I am sick of their condescension to people who, quite frankly, know five times as much about technology as they do, with their elite Weetbix-packet qualifications in button-pushing and shell scripting.

I am sick of the way that normal human beings go to work in IT support and immediately assume that somehow the rest of their organisation owes *them* something. Do secretaries think this, when someone asks them to take a phone call or type up a contract? Do cleaners think this, when they have to scrub a used toilet block at the end of the day?

I really, really can't stand all these snooty up-themselves "the BOFH is my hero" idiots who seem incapable of realising that they're actually low-level support personnel who need to grow a work-ethic gland.

Ha Ha Ha.......I can identify with that. Used to take on lots of grads in the Global Ops Centre. They would come in armed with their degrees and the attitude that the world owed them a living, struggle to grasp the technology, then leave quickly as soon as their CV allowed them to get a better salary.

Life would be much simpler for IT staff without end users bothering their surfing time.

[pritch]

I am sick, so totally fecking SICK, of IT people and their bad attitude.

Don't hold back get it all off your chest :-)

BOFH is my hero too and I'm not in IT.

[Sniper]

Hehehe, sounds like fun.

Our 0800 number at work is the same 0800 number that the Warehouse gives out for their Dell computer supports. So quite often we get:
"Is that the Warehouse"
"No its not"
"Well who is it" (Regardless that I have just answered the phone with my name and buisiness)
"It is Apex Car Rentals"
"Oh, well where is the Warehouse?"
"I dont know, ring their local number, Im sure you can get them there"
"Oh Thanks"

Thats just standard way of dealing with it. But if I have time or Im bored, I tell them all sorts of things to do.

I have been able to talk people into believing that coffee in the back makes it run faster. The CD draw IS a coffee holder. If you face the monitor into the sunset, it will automatically give you free internet. And a couple more. Ahh, the joys of work

[Sparky Bills]

I see we have mixed opinions here! HAHA
Some people just need to take a breath i think.
Just think about the bananas

[Bob]

I've worked on both sides of the fence as it were. Been a user, before moving into IT myself... so I know the frustrations from both sides. With the result that I try to be far more patient than often the situation deserves!

Mind you, working in IT is useful when you call someone and they announce "Oh, the system is down"... then you tell them how you work in IT and how your company has only had one system failure in the last (pluck a figure out of the air) and then ponder whether you want to keep your business with a company that invests in such poor technology. You'd be amazed how quickly the system comes back on line!

I am always amused by "Piece of string" type questions though... such as the "When will he be back?" one to an announcement that someone is ill.

Though I get really stroppy when someone comes out with the immortal line "All you have to do is push a button"...

OK, a true one to finish off with. Chap at Directory Enquiries got a call. The caller wanted to know the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Swansea. So the DI chap searched, but failed to come up with a number. When he told the caller, he asked if it might be known under a different name, to which the caller replied...

"Well it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar, but the 'B' fell off the sign"

I am not kidding...