Broke my back

[Warr]

........... - someone get in touch with this guy and spend some time with him please. Someone make him a Sunday dinner, and don't make me come up there. Errr, please.

Have found the Big C (Donut) man at home called around after my 2 physio appointments for the day.
He is a very lucky man.... after accident managed to wander around trying to move bike etc etc ..all in lots of pain...and wasnt until he visited hospital that the xrays showed the true extent of his injuries.
Someone in a similar situation may be off buying lotto tickets...
But the fact is he will be taking it quiet for some time to come. Which as hard as it is to endure, is all part of the mending the body and mind need to go through.
My accident has been an awakening to sort out personal stuff and you just have to do what needs to be done... for me that involves some professional councilling.
But I want to learn this lesson right. Destroying a m/bike and 10 days in hospital isnt something I want to repeat... Not to forget the months of recovery.....

[James Deuce]

Nice work Warr, thank you.

[discotex]

Dude, seriously, that's really, mega-unhelpful. This kind of "buck yourself up" stuff doesn't work and just encourages someone have a tough time to think even less of themselves.

Oooooook. All I said was "pick yourself up and start thinking of positive stuff". Sounds a little like your own advice:

Be happy being you

Everyone's suffering is relative, and it deserves to be acknowledged and people deserve help, not back-handed criticism. Find someone a little less fragile to drop your message of doom on and try to understand that context is everything. In the context that encompasses Donut's life, he's having a shit time.

Back handed criticism? You've clearly got unresolved issues that you're transferring onto my post. I have nothing but sincere and honest empathy with and for Donut's situation. I also totally acknowledge that for him right now, in hist world, shit is fucked up. Point is it doesn't have to stay that way.

I'm not dumping a message of gloom. If your only context is your own life you will always be unhappy because everything skews out of perspective - especially when you're depressed.

Donut, you'll get that from people who haven't ever, really suffered (which will no doubt get me in the crap with disco and earn a long winded rant about him having suffered in ways I can't imagine) and you need to dismiss it and the person delivering it as unhelpful.

Imply your own suffering was the worst ever and attempt to start a pissing contest. Ahh yeah whatever dude. Suggest you take a sip of your own medicine.

Lets give Donut the credit to make up his own mind about what works and doesn't work for HIM huh.

I think it's funny you presume to know anything about me and my life.

Auckland dudes and dudesses - someone get in touch with this guy and spend some time with him please. Someone make him a Sunday dinner, and don't make me come up there. Errr, please.

The one useful part of your post. Maybe you should have left it at that instead of having a misguided go at me huh.

[Dargor]

That sucks dude. Heal up, then go pwn some noobs

[sweetp]

hey ya, it sounds like you are having a bit of a hard time at the moment, but things can only get better. My partner broke his back in a bike accident and it has caused problems ever since.

While i am not qualified to give any advice I do want to say hold off on buying another bike till you are sorted. Just because while you can ride again, the style of bike may alter due to your injury. You might want to wait till you can test ride a bike to see if you can handle riding it.

All the best mate, you have lots of kb'ers at your back.

[vtec]

Here's some more thoughts on how to help you get through this time. Although you have to maintain NO contact with the woman in question. Every time you contact her, you reset your break free countdown clock. Hahaha.

Walk everywhere you can. Observe nature, observe the people, observe the buildings, observe fashion, and try to appreciate the bits you like and don't focus on the bits you don't.

Listen to music. Get an mp3 player or something. That way you can do it while you walk.

Get regular exercise. At least once every second day. Try swimming, try cycling, try jogging. Do something where you can be alone with your thoughts. Go to the gym. Go kayaking. Go tramping. Go rock climbing. Go to track days. Spend as much time around new people as you can. Take every opportunity you can to have fun. Go paintballing, go go-karting. Do a team sport. You need a friend or few who are in a similar situation to you. Usually to find new friends you have to go to new places. I'd suggest trying to live in another country for a while. Watch good movies, but don't watch too much tv, it's a waste of life.

If your diet is suffering due to depression or just general male cooking apathy. Make sure you take a multi-vitamin/multi-mineral after breakfast. It will help with sore muscles, ability to concentrate and think straight, and most importantly your mental state. Cenovis do a really good cheap one 200tablets for like $15.

Just something else that helped me. I used to forget all the horrible crap my ex did to me, and it was a mission to remember it. She used to remember everything. Now you are trying to get clear and realise she's a heartless cow. Try writing down everything you can think of that she did to you that was cold/heartless/selfish/nasty. Every time you start to want her back you need to remind yourself of the things she did to you that you cannot forgive. Eventually for me, all I needed to do was think of the list I didn't even need to go through it after a while. Which was a lot less painful. I cry every time I read it, but I will keep it near for years to come.

Dream, have projects (like a 600cc go kart or fixing a damaged bike). Change your focus from relationships to creativity and adventure if you can. Go out and party, get laid if you can. Get drunk but not too often, and only with other people, you'll get the downer afterwards aswell so you have to be careful.

Be as nice as you can to your ex if you do have to communicate with her. That's the best way to help your self esteem. If you have to be nasty then she's got reason to be nasty back. But get to a point where there's no need to contact her ever again, and don't. If she contacts you, be kind, encouraging, and lovely, but make it hard for her to contact you. For me, the only way my ex can contact me is by email now, and I think she's got the message that I don't really need her anymore, and I don't think she needs me. I hope she can find happiness.

From where I'm sitting the woman has done much more damage to you than the broken back, and will take much longer to heal. Once your back is right, go and do some serious living man.

P.S. The list that I wrote of nasty things my ex did to me is 100 items long. It's been a year, and I still think about her pretty much every day. But with every passing month it's got easier, and when I've managed to date other women that I like I've managed to stop thinking about her for a couple of days at a time. Try your absolute hardest not to mention your ex on a date. It's a lot easier to ask a woman out if you are feeling damaged, cause you don't really care too much about the answer. Revel in being shot down, find humour and entertainment in it. Fear of rejection will just hamstring you.

[karla]

Here's some more thoughts on how to help you get through this time.

Bling bling bling ++ (you must spread the love before blinging Vtec again)

[Nasty]

if you don't have an MP3 player I may be able to help .. let me know.

[DarkLord]

Vtec has some good points. I totally agree with what he says about writing things down. I've done this a lot throughout my life and it has really helped me get through some very hard stuff. You've really seen some hard stuff recently too. That's given you a lot to work through.

From my experience, the best way to get through hardship like this is do not try to deny anything that has happened and do not try to deny the pain that this has caused you. I imagine you will be hurting a lot right now and from my experience the worst thing you can do is try and forget about it. Whenever I've tried to just "forget the past" all I've really been doing is bottling it up and storing it under the rug, so of course it is only going to come up and cause problems later on.

Find someone that you trust and don't be afraid to get really honest with them about everything. Do the best you can to be really honest with yourself about what has happened and about what you are feeling. It is never an easy journey, but it is a necessary one and I can guarantee you once you really get to the bottom of all you have been through you will come out the other end as a better, happier, healthier and far wiser person. You may need to seek out professional help for this kind of thing, but don't be afraid to do that - people like that are here for exactly this kind of situation. It will not make you any less of a man to reach out and ask for help - those who are honest and humble enough to realise that they cannot get through everything on their own are to be admired for their courage.

At the same time though you also need to take good care of yourself in a situation like this. Get lots of rest and don't be afraid to treat yourself every once in a while. You are a survivor and it is a miracle you are still alive - a good reason to treat yourself if you ask me! Don't push yourself too hard with anything. Use the physical recovery time to help you get your head around all that has happened to you but make sure you take it slow and easy as well.

Take it easy dude. Hope some of this helps. Feel free to PM me if you wish.

DarkLord

[El Santos]

dude tht sux, i don even know ya but i hope u heal soon man

peace bratha

[Radar]

Here's some more thoughts on how to help you get through this time. Although you have to maintain NO contact with the woman in question. Every time you contact her, you reset your break free countdown clock. Hahaha.

Walk everywhere you can. Observe nature, observe the people, observe the buildings, observe fashion, and try to appreciate the bits you like and don't focus on the bits you don't.

Listen to music. Get an mp3 player or something. That way you can do it while you walk. ......

Donut - vtec has very good practical advice.

Print what he says and read it again and again, every day, and ACT on it.

If you were go to a shrink I doubt if you would get better advice, and it would cost heaps!

And remember that sometimes you cannot do it all on your own, so get someone to come along and be there for you. All it takes is a phone call or PM.

[Donut]

im amazed at the help people are offering and how meny are offering it.
i really do appreciate it, its really hard for me to find anyone to talk to after my best mate commited suicide i really dont have anyone left that i feel comfortable enuff to talk to.... specially a shrink i was taken to the henry bennet 2 weeks ago.... not a nice experience.

all the advice you all have been giving me is giving me some direction in what i need to do, it is really hard for me to think for myself with all thats going on it really sucks

priorities for now are to heal up and get the bike healed up too so when i am able to ride i can... its the only release i have.
as for the damage to the bike the only things other then cosmetic are a f**ked front rim($650) broken handlebar, no front indicators and the bracket for the pipe has been broken... oh and the foot brake is snaped off. am yet to find out if my forks are bent tho, the bike hit a concrete wall front tyre first at about 20k's heres hoping

could be a long repair... just hoping for some good fortune(lotto) but i think i may of used it all up on surviving ...

[Donut]

:O got 2 blings now woot something positive and then negative there freakin yellow stupid netiqute and moderators lol grrens my favorite color :P

[CookMySock]

How are you feeling today bud?

I trust you have discovered the magic and science of drugs? 200mg Diclofenac is the bizo - it'll take the ouch out that nasty snapped bit, and help you sleep. A bit of the green is really helpful too.

Can you move around a bit? Try cooking something - cooking is fun, and its great for your self-esteem when everyone goes "yum that was nice bro", and if its a reject then you can just chuck it in the bin.

priorities for now are to heal up and get the bike healed up too so when i am able to ride i can... its the only release i have.
as for the damage to the bike the only things other then cosmetic are a f**ked front rim($650) broken handlebar, no front indicators and the bracket for the pipe has been broken... oh and the foot brake is snaped off. am yet to find out if my forks are bent tho, the bike hit a concrete wall front tyre first at about 20k's heres hoping

Theres lots of bits around on trademe and richardhyosung, so start hunting and emailing people! I won't go dig all them out for you, as you need all the interesting stuff to do that you can get.

It's gunna be a great day.

Steve

[Nasty]

:O got 2 blings now woot something positive and then negative there freakin yellow stupid netiqute and moderators lol grrens my favorite color :P

Yellow is not a bling colour .. its a warning to remember the rules (quoting images ... makes it hard for those not on broadband to get through threads) ... but you have plenty of time to familirise with the rules now you can spend time of the computer instead of riding