This is my second night without sleep. After the day I have had I thought I would fall asleep thru shear exhaustion but my mind is too busy. Sorry if I ramble.
My friend Ahu - I have known him for nigh on 7 years and we are very close. Like a married couple without the sex lol. People have often thought we are a couple as we do so much together.
I had coffee with him last nite and he advised me he had chest pains - I told him to get to a dr asap - and that he would end up in a box very soon - he is very stubborn and ignored me. I don't take this personally lol.
This morning I got a call saying he had had a heart attack at work and they were resuscitating him. I dashed to the hospital - I am listed as his next of kin. 2 doctors pulled me aside into a private room and advised me that it was extremely unlike that Ahu will survive - he had been without full oxygen for 22 minutes. Altho his workmates did cpr and mouth to mouth - not alot of oxygen actually gets thru well not like the heart can pump around. The docs said his mates did a stirling job. He was trussed up like a turkey - I took his hand and whispered in his ear "Babe its Shirley, come on you stubborn bastard don't you dare kark it" well his whole body jumped - I got a hell of a fright cos they told me they had paralysed him.
Eventually we get to ICU. They explain everything very clearly of what and why they are doing things. They have to get his body to hypothermia stage. To this end he had a "freezing blanket" beneath him - this was not bringing his body temperature down - so they put one on top - as well - after trying ice under his arms and on his groin. Have I mentioned that this guy is really stubborn?? He is the first to admit it too. Still his temperature was not coming down - if he pulls through I can hear him saying "Its because I'm such hot stuff Shirl".
His nurse is lovely and he will appreciate that she is a blonde as well. I whispered that info into his ear.
I was told to go home and sleep. They would call me if there was any change but he was on the life support machine so I felt comforted that it was safe to leave him and the Nurse said I needed to look after myself as well.
Tomorrow, now, today, they will start taking some of the tubes out of him and take him of the machines and see if he survives.
I have hope because the Nurse told me he was semi breathing on his own but taking him off the machines would be the test.
We had spoken about funerals for each other 3 weeks ago.
Thank god for my program - one day at a time - I don't have fear =I do have faith. If he goes then it is meant to be - God I will miss him so much - but I will not think along those lines. While there is life there is hope. I am lucky to have been a part of his journey this far. I love him dearly. When I was diagnosed he told me he went home and cried and asked God why was he doing this to his best friend. Also his brother died at the same time and he could not handle both so took time out - I fully understood this and he contacted me 2 months later.
I have the Dr today - I'm not allowed to be at the hospital until 10.30am anyway. But I can ring them any time. I cannot sing their praises highly enough, having said that, I have just rung through and they cut me off 3 times!!! Well he now has a male nurse - I won't be telling him that tho lol. He was not so positive, said his heart beat was very erratic - he mentioned that Ahu's body temperature had not dropped - when I left it was 35.7 they want it down to 34 - however it has risen to 37.2. I'm never gonna hear the end of this when he pulls through.
We are both stubborn, and speak our minds - so there have been some interesting times, we have had sing-a long sessions - he has a great singing voice and plays the guitar beautifully - I can't sing - but he kept encouraging me and saying yes I was in tune. We share a lot of laughter - his one liners are classic at times and I still burst out laughing recalling them.
Maybe it is not appropriate to post something like this, however, I needed an outlet and I am in good spirits. Takes my mind of my pitiful problems that seemed so big 24 hours ago lol.
I know my life must seem like one crisis after another but with each challenge has come a depth of serenity, peace and strength - I don't get angry, and think why me - why not. Nothing really surprises me anymore - no - that is not strictly true - people's kindness towards me during these challenges has been such a bonus. I meant when shit happens it doesn't really surprise me these days.
Thank you for listening to me.
I hope the next 24 hours pass quickly. We had also spoken about "pulling the plug". I have conveyed his wishes to ICU. Ahu is a workaholic - loves work, if he has a long rehabilitation he will be the most dreadful patient. I just don't want to see him suffer.
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Heres hoping your mate pulls through and you can look back and laugh about this whole thing.
Originally Posted by Gubb
If you are behind me
Dont ask as I am lost too.
..
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