Aunty Riff Raff's Bike Sex Therapy

**FROSTY:Me** · 10th February 2005, 21:42

True story --A young couple,very much in lust were out and about on the young mans bike. After a bit of kissin and cuddling they headed off on the bike to find somewhere more private.
They headed to the top of a multi story carpark.
The main stand was down and things got very um--well intimate.
At that moment the police helecopter buzzed over
The young man quickly -disengaged. But the young lady was caught spreadeagled on the bike--with 100000 candlepower illuminating all her um personal areas.
Funnily enough they split up not long after that

**Biff** · 10th February 2005, 21:54

Originally Posted by SPman

"let he, who is without sex, cast the first vote!"

bollox, I've been rumbled!

Originally Posted by XJ/FROSTY

True story --A young couple,very much in lust were out and about on the young mans bike. After a bit of kissin and cuddling they headed off on the bike to find somewhere more private.
They headed to the top of a multi story carpark.
The main stand was down and things got very um--well intimate.
At that moment the police helecopter buzzed over
The young man quickly -disengaged. But the young lady was caught spreadeagled on the bike--with 100000 candlepower illuminating all her um personal areas.
Funnily enough they split up not long after that

Reminds me of a joke:

Superman was flying along one day when he noticed Wonderwoman lying butt nakid in a field. She was moaning and growing and Superman fancied his chances. He could be in and out in no time, after all his arse went like a rabbits.

So he flew down to WonderWoman pulled his weaponary out might swoop in preperation to enter her Wonder Box. He attempted to enter her at nearly 300Kph.

The invisible man never knew what hit him .

**avgas** · 10th February 2005, 22:00

Come on people, tell me you havent had sex after ya partner (or someone else), says "Thats a nice bike, you should take me for a ride".
To which you reply

and then later on in hospital

**Waylander** · 10th February 2005, 22:55

umm.... I can't vote on this yet.....

**Lou Girardin** · 11th February 2005, 10:23

Originally Posted by MSTRS

I farted on a bike once. Does that count?

Not foreplay. SEX!

**vifferman** · 11th February 2005, 10:37

FEAR MY PRONG

**Waylander** · 11th February 2005, 10:43

Originally Posted by vifferman

FEAR MY PRONG

Some lyrics for you guess the name of the band

nothing breeds more contempt for this world than memories now formed every moment a new seed is grown to no reason the
trouble unfolds for the trials of today i'm no jury really don't care how you feel the pleasant notion of miraculous change drifts into
multiple jeers you want the good life you break your back you snap your fingers you snap your neck seconds drip thru my hands
washed of moments unborn all the spaces between bleed a tribute to a sacrament never exposed a message to the forces, I've no
pity don't know how thankful to feel expectations of my daily bread gives me the hunger to steal

**vifferman** · 11th February 2005, 10:51

Originally Posted by alucard_draken

Some lyrics for you guess the name of the band

The "Fear My Prongs"? :spudwhat:

The Feckin Eedjits?

The Blathering Blatherers?

The Punctuationally Challenged?

**Riff Raff** · 11th February 2005, 10:55

Originally Posted by alucard_draken

Some lyrics for you guess the name of the band

nothing breeds more contempt for this world than memories now formed bla bla bla

If you're going to hijack a thread about sex, at least do it with something like motorbikes or alcimahol which goes hand in hand with sex!!!!!

**vifferman** · 11th February 2005, 10:57

Originally Posted by Riff Raff

If you're going to hijack a thread about sex, at least do it with something like motorbikes or alcimahol which goes hand in hand with sex!!!!!

Trouble with having alcimahol and motorbikes in yer hands when sexing is that you've got no hands left for the sex part.

I had sex once.

No, really! I'm not kidding.

**Waylander** · 11th February 2005, 11:00

Originally Posted by vifferman

The "Fear My Prongs"? :spudwhat:

The Feckin Eedjits?

The Blathering Blatherers?

The Punctuationally Challenged?

It's a band named prong. And it's good stuff. Wasn't intending on hijacking the thread, just had to do this.

**Riff Raff** · 11th February 2005, 11:01

Originally Posted by vifferman

Trouble with having alcimahol and motorbikes in yer hands when sexing is that you've got no hands left for the sex part.

You could get one of those camelback thingies - hands free drinking - leaving one hand left for the bizness at... er.. hand, so to speak!

**vifferman** · 11th February 2005, 11:09

Originally Posted by Riff Raff

You could get one of those camelback thingies - hands free drinking - leaving one hand left for the bizness at... er.. hand, so to speak!

Why would I

if I was having sex? :spudwhat:

**Motoracer** · 11th February 2005, 11:33

Originally Posted by vifferman

Trouble with having alcimahol and motorbikes in yer hands when sexing is that you've got no hands left for the sex part.

Pretty simple really. If you've got riding the bike part, surely you’re partner can handle the sex part. Make her do the work! If she's the one riding the bike then v.v.