How to amuse yourself in supermarkets

[racerhead]

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager

[McDuck]

lol

[portokiwi]

I am still crying. There are some very good tricks in there. Giving me some ideas.

[racerhead]

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager

Them few are my favorite ones and can really see myself trying some of them soon

[Maha]

You know when you are happily going about your shopping in a Supermarket, and right behind you is a trolley with a squeaky wheel? thats sluts me. One time, we were at New World and I got a non squeaking Trolley, but I made it squeaky, using a high pitced vocal noise from my mouth, keeping in time with the wheels rotations, I made sure I stayed close by an older couple just in front, got the odd look but had some fun, Anne had stay ahead of me at times...

[gijoe1313]

Rather like my trick where I face the back of an elevator. People walking in get a surreal moment. When its my floor, I walk out backwards ... just my part of making life's moments more disconcerting for everyday citizens!

[portokiwi]

You guys have tooooo much time on your hands. You guys should be outside mowing the lawn.... or even better mowing mine

[racerhead]

Rather like my trick where I face the back of an elevator. People walking in get a surreal moment. When its my floor, I walk out backwards ... just my part of making life's moments more disconcerting for everyday citizens!

Ha thats a brilliant idea I can just imagine the looks of people when you do that

[Fatt Max]

Too fecking brilliant, LMFAO mate

[Mom]

Maha plays all sorts of tricks in the supermarket, sometimes it is so bad I cant actually make eye contact with him. I have to walk around prentending nothing is happening. Sometimes we play hide and seek there too, that is always good for a laugh

[wbks]

Haha some of those are funny. 3, 9 and 14 are the best. Sounds like something the guys from pulp sport would do.

[MSTRS:Me]

If you go past the item that you want, simply back up. Make sure the reversing beeper is working well....

[Swoop]

Rather like my trick where I face the back of an elevator. People walking in get a surreal moment. When its my floor, I walk out backwards ... just my part of making life's moments more disconcerting for everyday citizens!

There is a great video floating around the 'Net. Chap waiting for elevator - DING! - doors open.
There, inside the elevator, a bloke is sitting on a dunny with his trousers down, reading the paper. On the elevator wall is a toilet roll.
He looks up from his "morning ritual", presses the button and the doors close, leaving the chap who was waiting for the lift... "perplexed"!

[racerhead]

Ha ha ha ha ha that is brilliant

[Blossom]

Maha plays all sorts of tricks in the supermarket, sometimes it is so bad I cant actually make eye contact with him. I have to walk around prentending nothing is happening. Sometimes we play hide and seek there too, that is always good for a laugh

good to know I am not the only one whos husband does that.
Still am loving #10 darting around the store humming the mission impossible tune. I could just imagine blossomsowner and the 4 rug rats doing that whilst I am Christmas shopping this week.

All time funniest thing I ever saw was in Whangarei a few years ago on christmas eve, a radio dj had to do a dare. It was to park in the busiest car park in town, then start the car up and half reverse out of the space, then leave the car in reverse and just sit there for 20mins. We just happened to be nearby at the time.. It was hysterical. I have never seen so many seriously angry middle aged women in my life. The guy was lucky to get out alive. Caused a near riot.