Westie jokes

[Badger8]

Myself and GIJoe just got into an impromptu Westie joke competition on MSN, and thought we'd share the love.

If you can top them, by all means share it with the class!


Whats the difference between a westie guy and girl?
The westie girl has a higher sperm count than the guy

What does a westie girl use for protection during sex?
A bus shelter

Where does a westie girl go to sleep?
Wherever someone will take her

Why does a westie guy need a car?
To see if he can stop running from the cops by foot

Two westie boys in a car with no stereo going, who's drivin?
The cops

What does a westie girl do to score a westie guy?
She lets him shag her younger sister

Two westie's jump off a cliff, who wins?
Society

What do you call a westie in a suit?
The defendant...

What happens when a westie stops drinking?
Someone at a brewery loses their job

Why did the westie cross the road?
To start a fight... with a complete stranger... for no reason...

Why do westies have fluffy dice on their dashboards?
So they can remember their age

What do you call a westie chick in a white tracksuit?
The Bride

If you're driving and see a westie on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike

What does a westie guy have to do to score a westie chick?
Shag her mother

What' s the first question during a westie quiz night?
"What you looking at?"

What do you say to a westie with a job?
A Big Mac please.

Why did the westie guy chase the chicken across the road?
So he could shag it

If two westies crash their cars in West Auckland, who wins?
Both do, since they get to swap parts

What is a westie's guy attempt at foreplay?
He opens a can and passes it to the westie chick

How does a Westie guy mow the lawn?
He doesn't

How does a westie decorate the gardens?
With a rusted out holden car body

Westie christmas ornaments?
Pull tabs from woodstock cans

How does a westie guy know a kid is his?
He doesn't

How do you know a westie girl is the right age for sex?
When they can say "yes"

[gijoe1313]

The scary thing is, most of these jokes are true! :slap:

[Badger8]

gijoe1313 says:
the scary thing is ...
these arent jokes in the end!
Badger says:
yeah, i've seen a lot of that stuff go down
gijoe1313 says:
eeew you said "down" lol
Badger says:
go down...

[firefighter]

these are all blonde/south auckland/black jokes changed to "westie"........-have to say pretty dissapointed

[Badger8]

these are all blonde/south auckland/black jokes changed to "westie"........-have to say pretty dissapointed

Have heard a few spun in those lights before, but a fair few new ones to me at least.

[Disco Dan]

What about the North Shore jokes????

All they do is drive around in BMW 4X4 and drink coffee at "cafes" while spending the entire time with their nose pointed at the sky... so that it casts a shadow on their lips and preventing them from bursting. I cant stand the North Shore. Nor most of the people that live there!!! SO STUCK UP ! ! ! !

West Auckland any day.

Then there is Ponsonby... snobby.... east auckland... (bwahahah!) and south auckland... (bwahahah)

Only places that are nice are outside of auckland ...and WEST AUCKLAND! ! ! !

[Badger8]

The jokes came about when we realised i'm a westie who doesnt live there ;bleh:
i actually kinda like west, but am currently living south central out of practicality