A Pauper's Funeral - yes they still use that word

**Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)** · 29th December 2008, 11:48

Crikey what an education I'm having. Rang the funeral directors yesterday. They were all ready to meet me until I told them there wasn't any money. Everything was then done on the phone. No Sorry to hear you have lost your friend.

A basic cremation/funeral costs $7,500 - $8,000. Bugger me how it can be that fn expensive.

So we had to opt for the "Paupers Funeral" where by they collect the body from the hospital morgue, cremate it and give me the ashes. And they get $1,760 from WINZ. Well bugger me - I could have delivered his body in his work van - Ahu would have loved that = taken him the the crematorium, they nuke him and if necessary I could provide my own urn for the ashes. So tell me how can it cost that much just to nuke someone.

I am not allowed the body for the funeral service. So I can only have a memorial service. They literally said there was no money in it for them.

I have found them to be very cold, hard and clinical, I feel they have been quite disrespectful and if I was in a position to tell them to shove it up their arse I would have. I did cash in Ahu's lotto tickets but nothing so I said Sorry Babe ya have to have a paupers funeral.

I have to put the funeral notice in myself (that doesn't bother me cos I was going to put one in of my own).

I have done the Service Sheet.

This morning his sister (and only she could sign as I'm not blood relative) signed the forms and then told me she was going back to Te Teko. They wouldn't stay around for the service. Yeah I feel the love baby. They did thank me for looking after him.

Don't think there is going to be any food after the service - I have made a banana cake lol. Maybe I should ask people to bring a plate lol. I'm too tired to do any more.

I reckon I should start a new business - renting out coffins, people can then have a proper funeral service then take the body to a crematorium.

Anyway service is at 1pm tomorrow, Salvation Army, Constable St Newtown.

After this is over I shall resume my holiday, collect my bike from Hawkes Bay and go up the East Cape, camping.

2009 is going to be a far better year for me. Cos it just is lol

**Headbanger** · 29th December 2008, 12:06

Here's to a better 2009.

Respect.

**fire eyes** · 29th December 2008, 12:07

fks sakes ... sorry to hear about that BMW .. sounds like your the only family he has .. dont worry to much about the 'pauper' thing .. Im pretty sure he won't care how his body is milled over as long as you are there with him, nothing wrong with the Salvos or a banana cake either, mmm I love banana cake ... glad you are going back on holiday ... some recovery time needed gurl.

**trump-lady** · 29th December 2008, 12:26

You are an amazing person and he was very lucky to have you.

**martybabe** · 29th December 2008, 12:31

Originally Posted by trump-lady

You are an amazing person and he was very lucky to have you.

Yup, I'd like you on my side when the shit hits the fan. Have some karma bling and my best wishes for your holiday, the world needs more of you. x

**sunhuntin** · 29th December 2008, 14:01

damn, our thoughts are with you. the funeral home should be a little more "warm" than that... losing a friend is one of the hardest things to go through, never mind having jerks for funeral directors. same goes for the family as well.

thinking of you, and well done for being there for him. shows who his family really is... you.

**XxKiTtiExX** · 29th December 2008, 15:03

Mum found herself in the same situation when my dad died about 4 years ago. She rung around and spoke to a few funeral directors, they were all rather cold and heartless, none were willing to respect mums wishes and were all just going to rush in and take dad away immediately. She didn't give up, rung around a few places and found an absolutely fantastic lot to deal with. I know its an extremely difficult thing to do but have you tried ringing around a few places?

I very recently lost my baby so I can also kind of understand a bit about funeral costs. (We stuck with the same lot that dealt with dad) I know I was quoted over $700.00 just for the cremation (and thats for a baby). That isn't inclusive of GST. There is also the costs of the casket etc etc on top of that (casket being a legal requirement). It all very quickly adds up (an adult even more so), and the thought can be quite stressful. I'm very lucky to have had my mum who was more than willing to help me out no questions asked. And I've definately needed that help.

Its a really difficult position to be in and I feel for you I really do. Goodluck tomorrow. Chin up. And I wish you all the best for 2009

**KiwiKat** · 29th December 2008, 15:06

Originally Posted by Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)

Crikey what an education I'm having. Rang the funeral directors yesterday...

After this is over I shall resume my holiday, collect my bike from Hawkes Bay and go up the East Cape, camping.

2009 is going to be a far better year for me. Cos it just is lol

I feel for you right now. We've been in the other position of having to sell all my dad's things off, to pay the bill. It's never nice.

Enjoy your memories of cool times with Ahu.

**Dooly** · 29th December 2008, 15:54

Funeral costs are staggering, and ridiculous sometimes.

Just another stress factor to deal with on top of the death.
It must be a financial killer to some families on top of everyday living etc.

When my ma in law died last year in Welly she did'nt want a funeral or service.
The funeral blokes picked her up from the hospice, did the paperwork, took her to their place burnt her, and her cat, the wife picked up the ashes.........4k thank you very much!
No funeral, no service, nothing cept the basics.

**ynot slow** · 29th December 2008, 17:01

Shit that sucks,I worked for 2 companies which also had funeral services attached to the core business of retail furnishings,the manor which they dealt with death was amazing and brilliant,nothing was a problem even costs,i.e to the extent one family was paying off costs for 3 yrs,but still never missed a payment.

**Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)** · 29th December 2008, 21:31

Thanks for the above - it sure is an education. Anyway I'm printing the service sheets - done 30 back to back - aim is for 100. I have a cheap $50 printer - the cartridges cost $60 lol hey it is working well.

Ahu wouldn't give a rats arse about a pauper's funeral = neither do I. In fact I called in the fellowship and everyone is bringing a plate lol. I love it. (I know my snobby father would have a fit lol). I think it's going to be the neatest memorial service.

I have yet to make notes for the Eulogy, type up some stuff, and get the music done. Oh well I can sleep tomorrow nite. I'm having a lovely time doing it all with our favourite music playing. It hasn't really hit me yet, at times I think crikey he's gone, I will miss him so much - I'm too busy at present to think lol. Anyway there are lots of lovely memories.