Flucking load lage

[mdnzz]

FM, how many times do we have to tell you, GET A FREAKING CAMERA.
Sheeze man with all the stuff goin on around you you'd make a fortune on the net.
O and of course it backs up the rants a little

[Richi]

Decided to get out and about this afternoon and take the bike for a wee blat.

So, I’m cruising into Howick about 5.00pm and can see a car load of our oriental cousins coming out of a side road on my left. The driver is looking to his left and edging forward so he has not bothered to look the other way and cannot see me approaching.

I slow down in anticipation and notice that one of the female passengers sitting behind the driver is telling him that I am approaching. Next thing I know he has pulled right out in front of me, I swerve to avoid him narrowly missing an oncoming car who must have seen my plight because he pulled over to avoid me.

The offending car speeds past me and the girl in the back gives me the single finger salute as they pull away towards the Prospect Pub. I beep the horn and flick the finger back.

Thinking no more of it, I carry on only to see that the car has pulled over by the Hammer Hardware store and the driver is out of the car waving his arms at me as I pass. So, sensing a bit of agro, I pull over to see what the flapping is all about. Conversation something like this:

Driver – How dare you show finger to my girl
FM – You should look where you are going you prat
Driver – you no talk like this, I velly angly, you are fuckwit
FM – Mate, do me a favour and go throw a fucking big hairy dog into your big self you two bob slit faced c**t..! (bit strong I know but all good fun)

This is when the funny shit happens.....

The young lady in the back reckons it’s her turn to get stuck into the fat biker and steps out of the car screaming like a rabid dog. She is wearing a sarong type thing around her waist and is brandishing what looks like a fucking hair drier or something.

Great, mee thinks, I’m about to get permed to death by Lucy Liu.

She slams the car door behind her but catches her sarong in it. As she lurches forward the sarong comes away and there she is, in the middle of the high street down to her undies.......and they were pink Barbie ones...!

I fecking piss myself, start the bike, shout “Oi love, nice Alan Whickers” and ride off. I see in the wing mirror that she is desperately trying to cover herself up because she looks a total prannet.

Love it....

LOL pure gold!

[mattian]

I've learnt to take all of your stories with a grain of salt Maxx. They are a very entertaining read though....... funny as.

[raftn]

Sounds like shit to me.

Couldnt agree with you more!

[Curious_AJ]

I've had some problems with silly arsed drivers... one time I was happily riding down the road and up to a round-a-bout was clear to my right, but there was a soccer mom van coming up to my left.

Now, I was cautious, but I rode through in the correct way, and just when I was almost right in front of said soccer mom on the left, she starts driving through! Worst bit was, when I hooted and saluted she gave me the finger and screamed out the window at me (couldnt hear what she was saying, something about "...biker PUNK!" 0_o) and kept on going! luckily I managed to get out of this by riding all the way around the round-a-bout (close in to the circle as she didn't leave much room) and by some miracle managing not to fall over (learner)...

I was completely flabberghasted by her complete lack of sense!

fucking soccer moms...