Artificial intelligence came a step closer this weekend when a computer came within five percent of passing the Turing Test, which the computer passes if people cannot tell between the computer and a human.
HAL 9000 GoatseThe winning conversation was with competitor LOLBOT:
“Good morning.”
“STFU N00B”
“Er, what?”
“U R SO GAY LOLOLOLOL”
“Do you talk like this to everyone?”
“NO U”
“fuck this.”
“IT’S OVER 9000!!”
…
“Fag.”
The human tester said he couldn’t believe a computer could be so mind-numbingly stupid.
LOLBOT has since been released into the wild to post random abuse, hentai manga and titty shots to 4chan, after having been banned from YouTube for commenting in a perspicacious and on-topic manner.
LOLBOT was also preemptively banned from editing Wikipedia. “We don’t consider this sort of thing a suitable use of the encyclopedia,” sniffed administrator WikiFiddler451, who said it had nothing to do with his having been one of the human test subjects picked as a computer.
“This is a marvellous achievement, and shows great progress toward goals I’ve worked for all my life,” said Professor Kevin Warwick of the University of Reading, confirming his status as a system failing the Turing test.
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