It's a plot!

**slofox** · 28th January 2009, 11:01

I tell you, a plot a plot A PLOT!!!!!!! (puff pant snert....)

Somewhere on a mountain top, there is a little man who sits all day watching a screen...the screen is connected to a satellite camera...the satellite is in geo-stationary orbit over MY HOUSE!!!
The wee man watches to see when I wash my bike (he must be bloody patient 'cause I have only washed it twice in ten months...). Then, when he sees me take it out after washing, he reads my thoughts to find out where I am going....(I need one of those tinfoil helmets)...Then he contacts the nearest road gang and has them race out and DIG UP THE FUCKING ROAD in front of where I am heading for and coat it in MUD AND BLOODY WATER!!! The bike ends up dirtier than before I washed it....like this morning...I'm even gonna have to clean my BOOTS!!!! (unheard of)...bastards!!!!!

**portokiwi** · 28th January 2009, 11:05

Big Brother is watching you ehhhhhh

**Oscar** · 28th January 2009, 11:10

Originally Posted by slofox

I tell you, a plot a plot A PLOT!!!!!!! (puff pant snert....)

Somewhere on a mountain top, there is a little man who sits all day watching a screen...the screen is connected to a satellite camera...the satellite is in geo-stationary orbit over MY HOUSE!!!
The wee man watches to see when I wash my bike (he must be bloody patient 'cause I have only washed it twice in ten months...). Then, when he sees me take it out after washing, he reads my thoughts to find out where I am going....(I need one of those tinfoil helmets)...Then he contacts the nearest road gang and has them race out and DIG UP THE FUCKING ROAD in front of where I am heading for and coat it in MUD AND BLOODY WATER!!! The bike ends up dirtier than before I washed it....like this morning...I'm even gonna have to clean my BOOTS!!!! (unheard of)...bastards!!!!!

Don't wash it.
The grime, grease and filth will form a protective coating.

Even better, trade it in on an Adventure Bike - the dirt will make it look like you're just completing some adventure trip, making you look windswept and interesting...

**MsKABC** · 28th January 2009, 11:13

Originally Posted by Oscar

Don't wash it.
The grime, grease and filth will form a protective coating.

That has always been my philosophy....on everything

**slofox** · 28th January 2009, 11:17

Originally Posted by MsKABC

That has always been my philosophy....on everything

After this morning's run I have forsworn washing for ever....

**MsKABC** · 28th January 2009, 11:28

Originally Posted by slofox

After this morning's run I have forsworn washing for ever....

I hope you are referring only to your bike? Because a layer of filth, oil and grime will only protect you from the laydeeez!

**Oscar** · 28th January 2009, 11:31

Originally Posted by MsKABC

I hope you are referring only to your bike? Because a layer of filth, oil and grime will only protect you from the laydeeez!

I rely on my personality to protect me from the Laydeeez....

**BOGAR** · 28th January 2009, 11:39

His name is Dave. I met him once and he seemed like a nice guy.

**martybabe** · 28th January 2009, 11:42

I'd put it down as paranoia but by a strange twist of fate I was walking along the flanks of the mighty mount Taranaki yesterday and I bumped into a strange granite featured little old man masturbating in the bushes.

"Hi ho little git, why for art thou excitedly masturbating on this lonesome hillock", said I.
"Lookee here ugly baldy guy", says he," I have a video link to slow foxes house, Look see I've got him again, the lazy git has just washed his bike for only the second time in ten months, I know where he's going and I'm just about to contact the road gang so his bike gets covered in shit again, I'm so exited, I love my Job"!

I handed back the sticky video screen and went on my way thinking what a crazy little delusional f#cker and then Today I read this!, who'd a thought it.

**Colapop** · 28th January 2009, 11:46

Originally Posted by Oscar

Don't wash it.
The grime, grease and filth will form a protective coating.

Originally Posted by MsKABC

That has always been my philosophy....on everything

And that works for kids too, right?

**slofox** · 28th January 2009, 12:34

Originally Posted by MsKABC

I hope you are referring only to your bike? Because a layer of filth, oil and grime will only protect you from the laydeeez!

Nah - boots as well.......

**laserracer** · 28th January 2009, 13:35

You need Meeeee ... inside out mobile car and bike valet ...im based in hams .. tell ya what ,..next time it needs a wash give me a yell..i do the odd freebe.. it may be your lucky day

even if its not your lucky day..if you say you are from K.b i'll see what i can do

P.S I dont do boots

**slofox** · 28th January 2009, 15:02

Originally Posted by laserracer

You need Meeeee ... inside out mobile car and bike valet ...im based in hams .. tell ya what ,..next time it needs a wash give me a yell..i do the odd freebe.. it may be your lucky day

even if its not your lucky day..if you say you are from K.b i'll see what i can do

P.S I dont do boots

Sounds good - next time I can't tell what colour it is I will give you a call......