I don't get it?

**skidMark** · 5th February 2009, 13:47

reminds me of my ex gf... 9 months into relationship...

"bikes are to dangerous i want you to give them up"

"ahh no, if you knew me at all and gave a shit you wouldn't even suggest it"

"it's me or bikes you can't have both!"

"you know where the door is"

and that was that

**Mikkel** · 5th February 2009, 13:51

Don't lie - just plead the 5th...

**Swoop** · 5th February 2009, 14:40

THE FIVE TOUGHEST QUESTIONS WOMEN ASK MEN

Here are answers to 5 of the toughest questions women ask men.

1 - "What are you thinking?"
2 - "Do you love me?"
3 - "Do I look fat?"
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5 - "What would you do if I died?"

What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to
explode into a major argument and / or divorce if the man does not
answer properly, which is to say dishonestly.

For example:

1 - "What are you thinking?"

The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if
I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm,
wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are
and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement
bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at
the time, which was most likely one of five things:

a - Baseball
b - Football
c - How fat you are
d - How much prettier she is than you
e - How he would spend the insurance money if you died

According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid
question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked
it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be
talking instead of thinking."

The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong
answers:

2 - "Do you love me?"

The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who
feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear." Wrong
answers include:

a - I suppose so.
b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c - That depends on what you mean by "love".
d - Does it matter?
e - Who, me?

3 - "Do I look fat?"

The correct male response to this question is to confidently and
emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then quickly leave the
room. Wrong answers include:

a - I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.
b - Compared to what?
c - A little extra weight looks good on you.
d - I've seen fatter.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your
insurance policy.

4 - "Do you think she's prettier than me?"

The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by
you were staring at so hard that you almost caused a traffic accident
or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct
response is, "No, you are much prettier." Wrong answers include:

a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
d - Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your
insurance policy.

5 - "What would you do if I died?"

Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely
demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would perforce
hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck
that came my way." This might be the stupidest question of the lot,
as is illustrated by the following stupid exchange:

"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"
"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do
you ask such a question?"
"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife.
"No, of course not, dear" said the husband.
"Don't you like being married?" said the wife.
"Of course I do, dear" he said.
"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
"Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry."
"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.
"Yes" said the husband.
"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a
long pause.
"Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband.
"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my
old clothes?
"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.
"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the
pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"
"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."
"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose
you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too."
"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed..."

**pixc** · 5th February 2009, 15:06

A while ago, a 'mate' said to me 'dont ask me if your ass looks fat in those pants'

Best way boys, engage the brain before opening mouth. If it's one of those leading questions and you cant bare to lie, DIVERSION!

Q = Me or the Bike?
A = Oh that dress in the shop window would look good on you.

**Squiggles** · 5th February 2009, 15:31

The correct answer is... you on a motorbike.

**Gremlin** · 5th February 2009, 17:40

This lot have all got it wrong...

It IS your fault...

You didn't train her right. If you had done a proper job of training, she would be over the moon to be

to some motorbikes.

**rachprice** · 5th February 2009, 18:03

Yes

She either likes you alot and is pissed that you didn't notice

OR she wants you to want her....I have found this is surprisingly common, they don't actually want to be with you but don't want you to want anyone else or not want them.

Either way she is acting like you are psychic, which is ridiculous, don't play into that shit and if she is worth it she will realise how silly she was being. You not playing into it will check her OR she will be really pissed and wont talk to you, in which case she isn't worth it.

**SixPackBack** · 5th February 2009, 18:26

Originally Posted by Drider87

Hey all,

Well I went down to wellington to see a friend of mine. I havent seen her in four years and she is one of those friends where even if you lose touch you will always be good friends. Anyway she spies me drooling over bikes at wellington motorcycle and stop listening to her or the other lass I was staying with whenever a bike went past

.

So she asks me "d, given the choice between motorcycles and me what would you choose" *and she does the most sincere, this is a serious question face to me*, I *doing a sincere serious face without a milliseconds hesitation say* "motorcycles".

This prompltly earned me a "you're a fucking arsehole", and a very angry friend for the next few hours.

Enlighten me, what did I do wrong? Motorcycles are a big part of my life and I cant see myself without two wheels.

Us guys can never win

Uhhu......so what happened after you shagged her rotten

.........you did shag her? [sure sounds like she wants it!]

**Number One** · 5th February 2009, 19:26

I think with that comment all she heard was....'I am just not that into you'.

Wonder how long she has been sending you signals? That was a pretty obvious leading question I would think. Sometimes guys just don't pick up on the signals eh....maybe she thought you would know how she feels...if in fact she was shitty that you didn't profess your undying love for her on the spot.

**ital916** · 5th February 2009, 19:37

Originally Posted by Number One

I think with that comment all she heard was....'I am just not that into you'.

Wonder how long she has been sending you signals? That was a pretty obvious leading question I would think. Sometimes guys just don't pick up on the signals eh....maybe she thought you would know how she feels...if in fact she was shitty that you didn't profess your undying love for her on the spot.

well the funny thing is, I only see her every couple of years or months. SHe is dating someone and sleeping with her would be like shagging my sister...I dunno what she was thinking.

And for those who said say both, I dont want her I want motorbikes. lol

I did meet a girl the other day that I did fall for though but she said she wasn't romantically interested she just like our intellectual conversations before I even got a first date..she didnt even see what would happen...fucking women *grumble*, yall complain of a man drought but expect to date only brad pitts lol.

**The Pastor** · 5th February 2009, 19:44

Originally Posted by Drider87

well the funny thing is, I only see her every couple of years or months. SHe is dating someone and sleeping with her would be like shagging my sister...I dunno what she was thinking.

And for those who said say both, I dont want her I want motorbikes. lol

I did meet a girl the other day that I did fall for though but she said she wasn't romantically interested she just like our intellectual conversations before I even got a first date..she didnt even see what would happen...fucking women *grumble*, yall complain of a man drought but expect to date only brad pitts lol.

its a color thing dude.

I hear you work in a motorcyle gear department... How do I get good gear that keeps me 100% dry? I really dont like getting wet on my bike also it has to have the best protection ever. I fell off once at 100k/hr and got a small cut on my knee - this is totally unaceptable. Also has to keep me warm in winter and cool in summer.

Also looking for a helmet - must have the lateset blue tooth so i can talk to my friends over the phone when riding. Life doesnt stop when you have a motorcycle you know. has to be ultra quite as well. Hate that loud engine sound.

cheers

yout 95th percentile motorcylist.

**NighthawkNZ:Me** · 5th February 2009, 19:49

Originally Posted by Drider87

Enlighten me, what did I do wrong? Motorcycles are a big part of my life and I cant see myself without two wheels.

maybe she was serious

**ital916** · 5th February 2009, 19:52

Originally Posted by renegade master

its a color thing dude.

I hear you work in a motorcyle gear department... How do I get good gear that keeps me 100% dry? I really dont like getting wet on my bike also it has to have the best protection ever. I fell off once at 100k/hr and got a small cut on my knee - this is totally unaceptable. Also has to keep me warm in winter and cool in summer.

Also looking for a helmet - must have the lateset blue tooth so i can talk to my friends over the phone when riding. Life doesnt stop when you have a motorcycle you know. has to be ultra quite as well. Hate that loud engine sound.

cheers

yout 95th percentile motorcylist.

I think you should take up boating.

**ital916** · 5th February 2009, 19:53

Originally Posted by renegade master

its a color thing dude.

I hear you work in a motorcyle gear department... How do I get good gear that keeps me 100% dry? I really dont like getting wet on my bike also it has to have the best protection ever. I fell off once at 100k/hr and got a small cut on my knee - this is totally unaceptable. Also has to keep me warm in winter and cool in summer.

Also looking for a helmet - must have the lateset blue tooth so i can talk to my friends over the phone when riding. Life doesnt stop when you have a motorcycle you know. has to be ultra quite as well. Hate that loud engine sound.

cheers

yout 95th percentile motorcylist.

Oh and I can make you a helmet if you want...Illl find some newspaper.Unfortunately it only comes in a boat shape.