Why men cheat.

**scumdog** · 12th February 2009, 20:13

Since I've been with CB (a.k.a. normajeane) I have never really thought about 'straying', I guess if you get the right partner and treat each other right there's no 'need' as such??

Cheating/straying is a symptom of something wrong with a relationship in most cases imho....

**Number One** · 12th February 2009, 20:14

Cool thread - always interesting to hear others thoughts and rationalisations for things of this nature. Bloody loved some of the posts too

Finn and imdying you are just naughty shit stirring boys...now go to your PARTNERS ROOMS!

Originally Posted by Jantar

So is it cheating to go elsewhere for something that a wife has stopped providing?

Providing? That's some romantic shit right there

Originally Posted by Okey Dokey

All this do something, make him feel appreciated- are you his wife or his mother, for goodness sake? Would his Mum give him a blow job every morning to make him feel like a winner? If things are that bad for a guy, why do they never try and make a clean break and start again? No, the usual response is an affair. That way they can have their cake and eat it, too.

BTW, same thing goes for women who cheat.

Cheating to 'lever yourself out of relationships' is just spineless and in my opinion shows a complete lack of moral fibre.

Originally Posted by MsKABC

My point is (and I do have one), is that women don't just decide they don't want sex anymore. Sex drive isn't just a switch you can turn on and off at will - it is up to both parties to find a way to make it work.

Any person who reckons they aren't getting enough sex from their partner needs to have an honest think about what he/she is doing to contribute to that lack of sex OR perhaps recognise, appreciate, accept and be patient because there are other things impacting on the others sex drive...funnily enough it isn't always about YOU..sometimes life is just too full and sex (even desired and enjoyable sex) is a drain on precious energy resources. Think instead....how do I get my man/woman to want to feel all affectionate and rip my clothes off? Just having the equipment and being married to someone doesn't automatically qualify you for sex on tap and certainly not just because it makes you feel better about yourself.

Originally Posted by Trudes

I find it bloody hard to concentrating on being a slut in the bedroom for Kendog when the dishes are all piled up, dinner is burning in the oven and I know I have no clean undies to put on afterwards, yes, even women sometimes have trouble multi-tasking!

We really should co-ordinate things better you and I...I'll do your washing and dishes while you and Kendog get down and dirty and you can do mine while we get down and dirty

Originally Posted by Badjelly

65 replies in 75 minutes. Popular thread! I wonder why.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mg1PEoQ_cq8

Originally Posted by The Stranger

What a crock of shit!
If they aren't winning then bloody do something about it FFS. Are they waiting for someone else to make them a winner? Wake up, it isn't going to happen.
Under appreciated? Do something worthy of appreciation you useless bastards.

Exactly HTFU and take some responsibility for self.

Originally Posted by Trudes

A very fair call. So maybe weak men cheat? They need their affirmation of being 'winners' from someone else because they are actually losers?

Weak people cheat....and yes needing affirmation from someone else to make you not feel like a loser is fairly sad and pathetic....it's also a bit childish. Grow up peeps.

Originally Posted by Finn

If KB was men only, this thread wouldn't exist and even if it was started by some homo, it would only have about 2 replies.

See, women are always yapping and causing problems. That's why we sleep around.

You've posted more than 2 replies to this...so you a yappy bitch too then?

Originally Posted by Gremlin

More serious note... I truly believe its a two way street. Sure, there are crap men and women out there, ignore them for this purpose. Neither partner should be sitting back and saying, oh, he/she doesn't appreciate me etc, if they aren't doing the same back. It gets very easy for the 2nd person to stop doing the little things after the first stops. Everyone likes to feel needed and appreciated.

Relationships are two way streets, as the saying goes, you need to put in 100% to make it work.

Well said

Originally Posted by Skyryder

All other comments are just an excuse for not having the will power, integrity and discipline to honour the marriage vows.

I concur good sir.

**sidecar bob** · 12th February 2009, 20:16

Originally Posted by nz_rider

men cheat for the same reasons that women cheat. they can. most of the time it is all in the thrill of whether you will get caught. it raises adrenalin. in my opinion they should just get out there on a track and ride farking fast instead. it is a lot safer than having your missus find out that you have cheated on her.

I disagree with that.
I have known plenty of sidecar racers that have engaged in extra marital sex because their partner, male or female treats them like shit.
These paticular folk get more adrenaline on a Sunday afternoon than most people get in ten years.

**scumdog** · 12th February 2009, 20:40

Originally Posted by sidecar bob

I disagree with that.
I have known plenty of sidecar racers that have engaged in extra marital sex because their partner, male or female treats them like shit.
These paticular folk get more adrenaline on a Sunday afternoon than most people get in ten years.

Some would say there was racing adrenaline and 'the other kind'

**Goblin** · 12th February 2009, 20:41

Originally Posted by Number One

Any person who reckons they aren't getting enough sex from their partner needs to have an honest think about what he/she is doing to contribute to that lack of sex OR perhaps recognise, appreciate, accept and be patient because there are other things impacting on the others sex drive...funnily enough it isn't always about YOU..sometimes life is just too full and sex (even desired and enjoyable sex) is a drain on precious energy resources. Think instead....how do I get my man/woman to want to feel all affectionate and rip my clothes off? Just having the equipment and being married to someone doesn't automatically qualify you for sex on tap and certainly not just because it makes you feel better about yourself.

Well said!

All very well with couples who are emotionally divorced already then go looking elsewhere but I caught a part of the program the OP was refering to. Now this dude was getting everything at home from his wife...every night! He was then having a sexual affair during his lunch break!
WTF is up with that???

**MadDuck** · 12th February 2009, 20:48

Originally Posted by scumdog

Some would say there was racing adrenaline and 'the other kind'

Yes but the racing adrenaline usually subsides after a couple of beers and shite talk about how good one was on the track. If anyone takes it further then there has to be underlying problems.

**nodrog:Me** · 12th February 2009, 20:53

http://www.scotsindependent.org/feat...d/porridge.jpg

**Winston001** · 12th February 2009, 20:57

Originally Posted by Skyryder

No matter what kind of biological excuses that can be used for why men cheat, as Finn says when woman do it they are a slut.

This either makes a mockery of the biological reasoning behind the male excuses or simply that those that use these excuses (biological) do so in order to convince themselves that they still have honour integrity and self discilpine.

It's the macho way of blaming something else for their actions, and in this case it's still the female 'mother' nature.

Interesting, and a feminist argument (in case you didn't know) made against primal drives and evolutionary psychology. I don't buy it.

Women who are sluts are disrespected by both men and other women. However men who conquer women are secretly admired by men and desired by women. There is a complete discontinuity here.

Why? A desirable woman has the potential to bear your child = keep your genetics alive. However if she plays around, then you can't know that she will care for your child, and you certainly don't want to keep her and risk raising someone else's child. Accordingly such a woman is not respected.

By contrast, a male who seduces a number of women enhances the odds of his genes continuing long into the future = survival of the fittest. Dominance. Other men admire and envy that. Women want to capture this man because part of his attractiveness is they sense he can protect and provide.

And one more thing - women will climb over the backs of decent guys to get to the bad boy.

**McJim** · 12th February 2009, 21:02

Originally Posted by Winston001

Women who are sluts are disrespected by both men and other women. However men who conquer women are secretly admired by men and desired by women. There is a complete discontinuity here.
.

Hmmm...when I was in my teens I loved the easy girls - I could not be arsed with conversation or other niceties...in fact I quite liked easy women until my mid twenties.....

**Winston001** · 12th February 2009, 21:26

Originally Posted by McJim

Hmmm...when I was in my teens I loved the easy girls - I could not be arsed with conversation or other niceties...in fact I quite liked easy women until my mid twenties.....

Ah yes young Mcgrasshopper, like is normal, but did you take the easy lasses home tae mum..? Respect, love, commitment, that's a whole nother thing.

The easy gals provide an opportunity to be a genetic stud, but the reliable trustworthy gal, she's the one you stay with. Her children wil also be your children and you'll raise them together.

**Virago** · 12th February 2009, 21:35

Originally Posted by sidecar bob

...I have known plenty of sidecar racers that have engaged in extra marital sex because their partner, male or female treats them like shit...

Is that why you're called "swingers"?

**Gareth51** · 13th February 2009, 06:37

Originally Posted by Trudes

There was a similar thread about adultery a while back, but this is about why men specifically, cheat.
So I was watching Oprah the other day (yeah, ok, I had half an hour to kill so watched the first half of it, anyway) and she was talking to this guy who's done some research on men and why they cheat on their wives. The top reasons were because they felt under-appreciated, lonely and like they 'aren't winning' etc. Anyway, I thought it was quite interesting and thought I'd share it with the bitches social group, but then thought, hmmm, wonder what other KBers think about it. I can completely understand and have been making more of an effort to make my husband's sandwiches and tell him he's a winner. So have a read, there are several pages. I thought it was quite interesting to find out that the majority of men who cheat don't do it just because they are horn bags!

13 pages in one day,you certainly know how to stir up this site don't you Trudes

**MotoGirl** · 13th February 2009, 07:26

Originally Posted by Number One

Providing? That's some romantic shit right there

Originally Posted by Goblin

...Now this dude was getting everything at home from his wife...every night! He was then having a sexual affair during his lunch break!

Getting sex doesn't necessarily mean you're getting good sex and I wonder whether this was the case with the man on Oprah? Did they specify whether the wife was into it or whether she did it as another one of her daily chores?

Someone referred to a couple being "emotionally divorced" and I've seen this first-hand with my parents. From what I understand, it is difficult to enjoy the experience when your partner isn't fully engaged or lies there like a corpse. How much of a turn-on would it be knowing that your woman schedules sex and lies there until it's over? Sex for the sake of sex isn't going to fix the underlying problems in the relationship.

Although there can be other things at play (stress, fatigue, etc), having sex for the sake of it can still lead to feelings of rejection, especially if one person doesn't appear to be enjoying it.

In my opinion, if you don't feel like giving it 100 percent, don't even go there but make sure your partner understands why.

**portokiwi** · 13th February 2009, 07:44

I have never agreed with Cheating..... There is no need for it.
I love to look and yes Gabby has said I can look

but if I touch it will be cut off in my sleep.

It human nature to look and to want somthing you dont have, but restraint is what matters. If you are unhappy nothing a good mag or vidio cant fix...... Mate take maters into hand

daves the prospect of catching something that would be very hard to explain later

**Maha** · 13th February 2009, 07:52

Originally Posted by portokiwi

I have never agreed with Cheating..... There is no need for it.
I love to look and yes Gabby has said I can look

but if I touch it will be cut off in my sleep.

It human nature to look and to want somthing you dont have, but restraint is what matters. If you are unhappy nothing a good mag or vidio cant fix...... Mate take maters into hand

daves the prospect of catching something that would be very hard to explain later

No harm in looking at the menu Bruce, just dont order anything eh?....