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Thread: Baked beans!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    20th June 2007 - 08:51
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    triumph tt600
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    Baked beans!

    One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
    apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
    beans.

    Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from
    work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
    him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my
    way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more
    than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off
    any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and
    before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
    All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.


    Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly:
    'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'


    He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took
    a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone
    rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned
    and went
    to answer the call.

    The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure
    was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I
    seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It
    was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over
    a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap
    and fanned the air around me vigorously.


    Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
    was worse than cooked cabbage.

    Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room,
    I went on like this for another few minutes.

    The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells
    signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more
    times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back
    on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.


    My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,
    apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through
    the blindfold, and I assured him I had not...


    At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated
    around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'
    I'm a star wars fan!!!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    7th January 2006 - 02:13
    Bike
    Kawasaki Drifter 800cc
    Location
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
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    Blog Entries
    7

    Baked Beans

    One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

    Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released ALL the gas.

    Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!"

    He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went
    to answer the call.

    The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

    Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage!!!

    Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
    The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

    My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

    At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

    I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This was sent to me by a friend I think its a true story...not sure
    Live Love Laugh
    my fitness page

  3. #3
    Join Date
    5th June 2008 - 09:07
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    :-( none at present
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    ohhh that brought tears to my eyes
    If you are behind meDont ask as I am lost too.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    20th October 2007 - 11:34
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    Absolute gold!!!
    my face hurts from smiling!
    Retired- just some guy with a few bikes......

  5. #5
    Join Date
    18th August 2006 - 15:51
    Bike
    2009 Yamaha XJ6S
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    Nelson
    Posts
    2,686
    Hahahahahahaaaferkinhaaaaa... classic!!!
    GET ON
    SIT DOWN
    SHUT UP
    HANG ON

  6. #6
    Join Date
    24th May 2008 - 21:24
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    some honda bits in a kx chassis
    Location
    Waiuku City
    Posts
    1,326
    repost, still quite funny though
    we may just go where no ones been

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