Animal damage?

**Mom** · 23rd February 2009, 14:40

This subject came up last week, and a few laughs were had, so I thought I would see just how many "the dog ate my homework" stories there are out there.

Goats are popular eaters of anything. I used to have a white goat, who happily lived on the verge of our road. Two of our neighbours also had white goats (we lived on a very quiet rural road about 500 metres long). I used to tell people to take the first driveway on the right after the 2nd goat. Anyhow I digress.

My goat (Snowy) was the middle one of the 3. Max lived closest to our letterbox at the end of the road, and Harry a bit further past Snowy. Max was a tyrant and used to eat anything. One day I sent the kids up the the letterbox to clear the mail, warning them to make sure they did not get too close to Max (he once ate a plastic power ranger ring off a kids finger who stopped to pet him).

The kids came back with much hilarity and giggling, always a thing to worry about. "Guess what Mom?" "Max ate the mail" Oh, HA HA HA, what did I tell you lot? They present me with a bunch of soggy, goat saliva covered paper mache type stuff. Best part of this, it was not bills the poxy goat ate, but a packet of specially ordered and sourced seeds for a rare and delicate crop I wanted to trail. Cost a bomb and were goat fodder in the end

**Grahameeboy** · 23rd February 2009, 14:47

I like goats......

**MIXONE** · 23rd February 2009, 14:54

I had a rare and delicate crop growing at the back of my garden and my goat got off it's chain bypassed the tomatoes etc and ate the lot.

Once recaptured he hid inside his drum and bleated happily for some hours.

**Lilly2w** · 23rd February 2009, 14:55

I had a crazy dog that ate ladies items of intimate apparel, and my bike seat

He was a bit fucked up. I found him a new home.

**Finn** · 23rd February 2009, 14:58

I had a post coital moment once where the condom disappeared. Was quite certain the lass took a direct line to the shower and didn't recall her picking it up on the way. My last thought was how lucky I was to finally meet a girl that cleans up after herself but I wasn't so lucky.

The story now moves to the park where my dog was running around with his mates and decides it's time for a dump. I noticed he was in the Chrysler Crossfire position for some time and then he really looked uncomfortable. Sure enough, there was my condom, half in or half out, depends on how you look at life.

The rest in a little embarrassing. For me and the dog.

**MsKABC** · 23rd February 2009, 15:00

My gorgeous Boxer, may he RIP, once ate the upholstery on the passenger seat in my Dad's truck AND set off the fire extinguisher inside the cab. Not long after that, he towed a large trampoline around a house and got into the guinea pig hutch and ate the poor occupant. This was someone who Dad was doing some work for, but curiously enough they were quite grateful because the kids had tired of the poor wee thing and weren't looking after it properly, leaving the parents the task.

**klingon** · 23rd February 2009, 15:18

Originally Posted by Lilly2w

I had a crazy dog that ate ladies items of intimate apparel, and my bike seat

He was a bit fucked up. I found him a new home.

My elderly parents used to run a backpackers' hostel (owned by my brother). They also took care of my brother's dobermann.

Dad (in his 80s) was forever returning items of intimate apparel to the female hostel guests after retrieving them from the dog. Being a true gentleman, Dad couldn't return their lacy undies all gooby straight from the dog's mouth, so he always washed them first.

Very often, my dignified elderly Dad would be found hand-washing tiny lacy undergarments in the bathroom, then returning them to their rightful owners. I don't know who was more embarrassed, Dad or the girls.

The dog showed no sign of embarrassment.

**Patrick** · 23rd February 2009, 15:28

Originally Posted by Finn

I had a post coital moment once where the condom disappeared. Was quite certain the lass took a direct line to the shower and didn't recall her picking it up on the way. My last thought was how lucky I was to finally meet a girl that cleans up after herself but I wasn't so lucky.

The story now moves to the park where my dog was running around with his mates and decides it's time for a dump. I noticed he was in the Chrysler Crossfire position for some time and then he really looked uncomfortable. Sure enough, there was my condom, half in or half out, depends on how you look at life.

The rest in a little embarrassing. For me and the dog.

I bet the dog didn't "give a shit..."

As for you trying to explain "how did that condom get up my dogs arse..." Now that is priceless.....

**Stirts** · 23rd February 2009, 15:40

Originally Posted by Finn

I had a post coital moment once where the condom disappeared. Was quite certain the lass took a direct line to the shower and didn't recall her picking it up on the way. My last thought was how lucky I was to finally meet a girl that cleans up after herself but I wasn't so lucky.

The story now moves to the park where my dog was running around with his mates and decides it's time for a dump. I noticed he was in the Chrysler Crossfire position for some time and then he really looked uncomfortable. Sure enough, there was my condom, half in or half out, depends on how you look at life.

The rest in a little embarrassing. For me and the dog.

How ingenious...... using a condom as a pooper sccoper!!!

**Patrick** · 23rd February 2009, 15:43

Originally Posted by Finn

I had a post coital moment once where the condom disappeared. Was quite certain that lassie took a direct line to the shower and didn't recall her picking it up on the way. My last thought was how lucky I was to finally meet a girl that cleans up after herself but I wasn't so lucky.

The story now moves to the park where my lassie was running around with his mates and decides it's time for a dump. I noticed he was in the Chrysler Crossfire position for some time and then he really looked uncomfortable. Sure enough, there was my condom, half in or half out, depends on how you look at life.

The rest in a little embarrassing. For me and the dog.

Couldn't help meself....