Was just out the river with my Border Collie Mac chucking sticks for him to fetch as you do and your loss crossed my mind,i had an old Huntaway called Podge before Mac he was 17 when he died and at that time i vowed i wouldnt/couldnt ever replace him,3 weeks later as fate would have it this little black/white bundle of fluff was in desperate need of a home so i took him on,havent regretted one minute of it,guess what i am trying to say is maybe think about taking on another,you are obviously a dog lover and theres plenty out there that could do with a good home,you can never replace your best mate but you can have another.Fwiw.Besides that hope your doing ok,i remember losing ole Podge and it was hard work for awhile.