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Thread: Universal truths

  1. #1
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    Universal truths

    Possibly a repost, but will post it for those who haven't seen it. Some are pretty damn true too...

    Universal truths

    1)
    Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
    2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
    3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
    4) You're never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
    5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's/90's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
    6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
    7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
    8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
    10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
    11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
    12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
    13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
    14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
    15) You always feel a bit scared when petting horses.
    16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
    17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
    18) The smaller the monkey, the more it looks like it would kill you at the
    first given opportunity.
    19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
    20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
    21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
    22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
    23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
    24) You never ever run out of salt.
    25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
    26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
    27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
    28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
    29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
    30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
    31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
    32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
    specifically to stir paint with.
    33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
    34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
    35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

  2. #2
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    Some of those are so random and yet so true!

    #5 done that!

    #8 - yes, it is illegal!
    "I's no' a bobike (motorbike) - i's a scooter!" - MsKABC's son, aged 2 years.

  3. #3
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    Child of the sixties doesn't even know what #5 is about!?!

  4. #4
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    Do it. Then turn the calculatrice upside down.

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

  5. #5
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    we used to do 4377
    as for #32, not mine
    for the rest - so very, very true !

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Banks View Post
    Yes, but bikes = cool and cars = suck. I think it's Newton's fourth law or something.
    Quote Originally Posted by The_Dover View Post
    Queer Retarded Fags I think.

    Isn't sniper one of those?

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    The only one I haven't done is #9
    There is no such thing as bad weather; only inappropriate clothing!

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by klingon View Post
    The only one I haven't done is #9
    But you did steal it so no-one else could do it either...
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  9. #9
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    Oh god, so many of those I was sitting here going "yes" and "uh huh" and "oh, i remember that!"

    But as for lighting a fire in your back yard, depends on where you live, the regulations in force and any fire bans in place. We live in a rural area and it seems to be a free for all every weekend - one formerly urban neighbour burns EVERYTHING - he doesn't have a rubbish bin at all and he doesn't recycle, so you can imagine the smell!

    I'm pretty sure you're still allowed an incinerator in town, but there are regulations governing its use I think.

    I remember the embarrassment of number 17 - I called my (male) biology teacher mum!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

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    Haha, awesome.

    #25 happened last week!

  11. #11
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    I'm out of salt, have been for a few days.

    www.PhotoRecall.co.nz

  12. #12
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    Just started Freudian dream symbolism in Media Studies.
    What would Mr King say about #23?
    Diarrhoea is hereditary - it runs in your jeans

    If my nose was running money, I'd blow it all on you...

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by yungatart View Post
    Just started Freudian dream symbolism in Media Studies.
    What would Mr King say about #23?
    Mr King as in my husband? I'll have to ask him if entering dark tunnels gets him excited... ooh, that could have more than one meaning!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by yungatart View Post
    Just started Freudian dream symbolism in Media Studies.
    What would Mr King say about #23?
    You will never ever ever watch tv, ads, or movies the same way in your life if you pay attention to that. If you want to stay normal and not analyse EVERYTHING, I say fall asleep.

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beemer View Post
    Mr King as in my husband? I'll have to ask him if entering dark tunnels gets him excited... ooh, that could have more than one meaning!
    Not your hubby...unless he has turned into a self righteous, over opiniated prick....

    Fall asleep in class...nah, can't do that..even in Media
    Actually, I like the subject...its just the teacher...
    Diarrhoea is hereditary - it runs in your jeans

    If my nose was running money, I'd blow it all on you...

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