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Thread: Half Wit

  1. #1
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    Half Wit

    First a Rant.

    Did a search, could not see it here and even if you have read it before so had I, but I had the idea to share it with people that may not have seen it in this format or any other!

    So please NO Fucking Whining.

    Now the Joke.


    A man owned a small farm in Iowa. The Iowa Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

    "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

    "Well, there are my hired hands. One has been with me for four years; the other for three. I pay them each $600 a week, plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a month plus free room and board.

    Then there's the half-wit that works here about 18 hours a day. He takes home $10 a week and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every week to keep him going," replied the farmer.

    "That's the guy I want to talk to; the half-wit," said the agent.

    The farmer said, "That would be me."
    "Ability hits the mark where presumption overshoots and diffidence falls short". Nicholas of Cusa

  2. #2
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    Sounds like my wages! Sent an email to IRD at the beginning of September as I hadn't received my refund (sent in June) - got an email back from them today - so much for the "within 14 working days" they promise! Glad I rang them a week later or I'd still be waiting!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  3. #3
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    That's no joke. That's why I don't have staff.
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  4. #4
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    The Half-Wit

    A man owned a small farm in the Waikato

    the local Farm workers Union claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

    "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

    "Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $400 a week plus free room and board.

    The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $300 per week plus free room and board.

    Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

    "That's the guy I want to talk to --- the half-wit," says the agent.

    "That would be me," replied the farmer.


  5. #5
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    yep. That would be funny if it wasnt true............

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  6. #6
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    mate...i know...i was a farm manager for years....and folding wise was way better off than the owner....all his cash was tied up in assets and fuck all readies...


  7. #7
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    Lightbulb More Jokes - The Half Wit

    The Half-Wit
    A man owned a small farm in Scotland .
    The Inland Revenue claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to
    interview him. 'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep.
    'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him £200 a week
    plus free room and board.'
    'The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her £150 per week plus free room and board.'
    'Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around
    here. He makes about £10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every
    Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'
    'That's the guy I want to talk to..the half-wit,' says the agent.
    'That would be me,' replied the farmer.

  8. #8
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    If only you'd thought to do a quick search for "half-wit" before you posted.
    This is a goodun, but we've had it at least twice afore.
    ... and that's what I think.

    Or summat.


    Or maybe not...

    Dunno really....


  9. #9
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazyhorse View Post
    11th of September 2009.
    Quote Originally Posted by crazyhorse View Post
    9th of December 2009.
    Almost two months, that's a serious attention span.
    It is preferential to refrain from the utilisation of grandiose verbiage in the circumstance that your intellectualisation can be expressed using comparatively simplistic lexicological entities. (...such as the word fuck.)

    Remember your humanity, and forget the rest. - Joseph Rotblat

  11. #11
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    Have you guys considered using the search function?

    Geez, you're even reposting your own jokes...
    Can I believe the magic of your size... (The Shirelles)

  12. #12
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    Here is a funny story for you as well. Pete has been with his company now for 18 years all this time he has paid his tax into someone else tax number a company number that went into liquidation not to mention the guy died. We only founf out because we tryed to do a tax retuen on the internet so now inland revue have to transfer it back over to his number The whole 18years of it. buggered if i would want that job.
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