Can't think of a title really.

**98tls** · 10th April 2009, 21:47

Sitting here pondering,supposed to be playing cards n drinkin with a few mates but....the other night i went to a work do to see off those made redundant,great night though in some ways a little sad for obvious reasons,along the way got talking to a lady ive worked with for 11 years,great chick and a person ive always respected,she gets to telling me about her brother in law who wasnt at the do but had takin voluntary redundancy from work,i had worked with him for roughly 3 years,he was a huge dude,kinda dumb,arms covered in old school tats,home made with lots of CH-CH shit on them from back in the day (im oldish and from Ch-ch)i said way back when he started theres a story to him but couldnt work it out and never bothered,about a year ago i was told a story about the bloke which at the time i replied to the bloke who told me it that unless you have absolute proof of what your saying then you should shut the fuck up which he did,turns out it was all for real

2 days later it still makes me feel sick,the bloke had a family and was kind of struggling $ wise etc,my old lady whos kinda wealthy is a garage sale fanatic and forever sends stuff down that i dont need nor want some of it bloody good stuff,i would throw it in the ute and give it to this guy to help out him and his family,turns out he will be going to court soon for futher abuse (child) so the redundancy thing was timely for him.....couldnt understand why he took it before knowing this to be honest.Point to the thread....no idea really just a rant n rave,ive been through the mill and thought i could sum people up pretty good up until finding this out,just goes to show you really.Shocked is an understatement.Wondering how others would feel,if anything.

**Patch** · 10th April 2009, 22:01

You can't sit there and wonder about other people's problems - it'll do your head in, we're human and are full of flaws, imperfections and do daft things in daft places. Who knows why but we do.

We can only help each other if we are asked and/or are prepared and ready for when the opportunity arises and presents itself, until such time we can only mind our own business and provide and sustain our own families.

But yes, one does wonder on occasion . . .

**98tls** · 10th April 2009, 22:10

Originally Posted by Patch

You can't sit there and wonder about other people's problems - it'll do your head in, we're human and are full of flaws, imperfections and do daft things in daft places. Who knows why but we do.

We can only help each other if we are asked and/or are prepared and ready for when the opportunity arises and presents itself, until such time we can only mind our own business and provide and sustain our own families.

But yes, one does wonder on occasion . . .

Yea for sure mate i understand that,thing thats pisses me off is the shit that hes done to his family was/is pretty bad,just figured i would never have anything to do with someone that had done anything like that,how would i know?dunno just figured i would have.Weird shit as when dropping stuff off there ive sat and had a brew with them,everything seemed sweet as,fully understandable why the sister in law has nothing to do with her sister.

**fire eyes** · 10th April 2009, 22:14

hmmm .. I think in certain situations we get feelings about people that are just not quite right but because we have no real way of determining things we carry on and participate in the situation/friendship whichever it may be.

Maybe if we learned to utilize our intuition a little more we wouldn't get to the pondering stage of the coulda/woulda/shouldas.

Good on you for helping him out regardless .. because it may have filtered down to his babies and perhaps they benefited in some way from your generosity.

**98tls** · 10th April 2009, 22:26

Originally Posted by fire eyes

hmmm .. I think in certain situations we get feelings about people that are just not quite right but because we have no real way of determining things we carry on and participate in the situation/friendship whichever it may be.

Maybe if we learned to utilize our intuition a little more we wouldn't get to the pondering stage of the coulda/woulda/shouldas.

Good on you for helping him out regardless .. because it may have filtered down to his babies and perhaps they benefited in some way from your generosity.

I hope so though its grating me that i went out of my way to help the guy out.Two days later its still pissing me off,let it go i guess is the answer but easier said than done it seems.

**fire eyes** · 10th April 2009, 22:31

Originally Posted by 98tls

I hope so though its grating me that i went out of my way to help the guy ouy.Two days later its still pissing me off,let it go i guess is the answer but easier said than done it seems.

Do you think it's grating you because you think yourv been enabling him somehow?

Let it go .. yup one solution .. be alot better to track it and see why your feeling like that.

**98tls** · 10th April 2009, 22:39

Originally Posted by fire eyes

Do you think it's grating you because you think yourv been enabling him somehow?

Let it go .. yup one solution .. be alot better to track it and see why your feeling like that.

Jesus mate you sound like a shrink

im feeling like i am because he molested a 10 year old,i thought he was a bloke down on his luck so helped where i could,besides fucked off my first reaction when finding out was wanting to chuck.

**mark247** · 10th April 2009, 22:39

Just be grateful he is off to court now to get his ass handed to him.

**Winston001** · 10th April 2009, 22:49

Know what you mean. There is a sense of betrayal when you know someone, treat them well, and then discover they were doing awful things - while you knew them. In fact I'm sure you feel physically sick about it.

Partly it's because we have had our judgement proved wrong, so that is an assault on self-esteem - how come I didn't pick him for a kiddy-fiddler??........and partly the knowledge your decency has been wasted on something you'd rather wipe off the bottom of your boot.

My sympathies - to you, and the forsaken family, the kids who had such a parent.

**fire eyes** · 10th April 2009, 22:50

Originally Posted by 98tls

Jesus mate you sound like a shrink

im feeling like i am because he molested a 10 year old,i thought he was a bloke down on his luck so helped where i could,besides fucked off my first reaction when finding out was wanting to chuck.

fk no I'm not no shrink (disclaimer .. I'm not a shrink .. I would like TO shrink but am not A shrink)

You ain't responsible or accountable for other peoples shit mate .. you could always ring up for a councelling session though if it still gets to you over the next few days. It's good to talk to someone

Not a good situation.

**98tls** · 10th April 2009, 22:57

Originally Posted by fire eyes

fk no I'm not no shrink (disclaimer .. I'm not a shrink .. I would like TO shrink but am not A shrink)

You ain't responsible or accountable for other peoples shit mate .. you could always ring up for a councelling session though if it still gets to you over the next few days. It's good to talk to someone

Not a good situation.

Fair call mate,na wont be ringing a shrink lol,just a weird place to be i guess,will move on for sure.Just evoked some weird feelings is all.

**fire eyes** · 10th April 2009, 23:00

Originally Posted by 98tls

Fair call mate,na wont be ringing a shrink lol,just a weird place to be i guess,will move on for sure.Just evoked some weird feelings is all.

It's good to know you have compassion & empathy.

**98tls** · 10th April 2009, 23:05

Originally Posted by Winston001

Know what you mean. There is a sense of betrayal when you know someone, treat them well, and then discover they were doing awful things - while you knew them. In fact I'm sure you feel physically sick about it.

Partly it's because we have had our judgement proved wrong, so that is an assault on self-esteem - how come I didn't pick him for a kiddy-fiddler??........and partly the knowledge your decency has been wasted on something you'd rather wipe off the bottom of your boot.

My sympathies - to you, and the forsaken family, the kids who had such a parent.

Nail on the head i think mate,pretty much go about my business in life and associate only with people i think worthy of spending time with,this guy i helped for no other reason than i could and then i find that shit out about him,annoying.