AND LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION"
Matthew 6:13
How The Health System Was Created
In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and
spinach, combined with an abundance of green, yellow and red vegetables.
He did this so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Whip and Kapiti
Ice Cream. And Satan said : "You want hot fudge with that ?" And Man
said "Yes !" And Woman said "I'll have one too . with sprinkles." And lo
and behold, they gained 10 pounds.
And so God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure
that Man found so Fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the
wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from
size 12 to size 14.
So God said : "Try my fresh green garden salad." And Satan presented
crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side. And Man and
Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said : "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil
in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep-fried squid rings,
butter dipped lobster chunks and fried chicken so big it needed its own
platter.
Then God bought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin,
sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats
adding copious quantities of salt. And Man packed on more pounds.
God then Brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose
those extra pounds. And Satan introduced cable TV with remote control so
Man would not have to toil changing the channels.
And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and
started wearing stretchy lycra jogging suits.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and the 99 cent
double cheeseburger. Then Satan said : "You want fries with that ?" And
Man replied : "Yes ! And super size them !" And Satan said : "It is
good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed . and created quadruple by-pass surgery. Satan chuckled and
created :
The Health System.
Reply With Quote
but i can't beleive they left that bit out of "the good book"
i have yet to have the misfortune to shart in a public place 
Originally Posted by Storm
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