Airline says bigger bums on seats will cost more

[imdying]

Oh sweet... how much extra so I don't have to sit next to coons or crying babies?

[Badjelly]

Oh sweet... how much extra so I don't have to sit next to coons or crying babies?

Yeah, and sad, bitter bastards who bitch & moan about other people on Internet forums. I'd pay extra not to have to sit next to one of them.

[imdying]

I wonder if you'd have to pay multiple times not to have to sit next to a fat crying nigger that whinges on the internet, or one fee would cover it all?

[MotoGirl]

Oh sweet... how much extra so I don't have to sit next to coons or crying babies?

With you here. I'd rather sit next to someone overweight than someone with a screaming baby.

I've had to sit next to my (morbidly) obese parents and it's far from comfortable. I know for a fact they are not comfortable either because they get the armrests digging in their sides and it's hellishly embarassing having to ask for an extension for the seatbelt.

This is just a reminder that people generally don't make a conscious decision to get fat. Yes, some people eat too many pies and wind up overweight but not all passengers fall into this category. As an example, think of mental illnesses for a minute and how many of them relate to food. These people eat for the same reasons as others drink alcohol, use drugs, or smoke. Other mental illnesses (such as personality disorders) will also impact other passengers but I don't see the airlines charging those people more for their fares.

[Usarka]

Fair call, but other mental illnesses don't affect the flying characteristics of the plane, or the amount of fuel it uses.....

[Tank]

Before they start with fat tax - they need to look at their seats.

As it is they cram you in. Seat Pitch (back of the seat in front of you to the back of your seat) varies greatly.

The budget airlines cram people in - Easy Jet at 29" is one of the tightest in the world.

Air New Zealand is 34" against Qantas at 31".

Seat widths are even worse.

Ryan air thrives on this kind of publisity - heck only about a month ago they joked about costing a puund to use teh toilets in flight. It keeps them in teh press.

[MotoGirl]

Fair call, but other mental illnesses don't affect the flying characteristics of the plane, or the amount of fuel it uses.....

They may not but I got the impression the tax was more for the comfort of other passengers. If this is the case, any passenger that is a bit loopy, stinky, or noisy would be just as annoying as an overweight one!

[Usarka]

They may not but I got the impression the tax was more for the comfort of other passengers. If this is the case, any passenger that is a bit loopy, stinky, or noisy would be just as annoying as an overweight one!

Have you ever flown on Ryanair? You've just described their clientelle perfectly

(disclaimer: ryanair are cool - i got a flight dublin-edinburgh for 4 pounds. But I'm also loopy, stinky and noisy).

[Flatcap]

Before they start with fat tax - they need to look at their seats.
.

yep - it's just as uncomfortable if you are sitting with a row of broad-sholdered blokes - you end up sitting twisted sideways at the waist with nowhere to put your arms

[Tank]

Its all bullshit anyways.

Ryan Air for example:

About 46% of men in England and 32% of women are overweight (a body mass index of 25-30 kg/m2), and an additional 17% of men and 21% of women are obese (a body mass index of more than 30 kg/m2 ).


Thats a fuck load of people to piss off and lose to other budget airlines. All as it would take is ONE competing airline not to do it. Can you imagine the embarrassment of being weighted at the counter and charged an extra ## for fat tax.

Most people would rather pay more and not put up with it - I think if they introduced it they would go out of business.

[Tank]

Also - what about body shape.

Should a 90 kg 4ft woman who is HUGE and pours over the next seat be charged the same as the 90kg lanky 6' 10 guy who dosnt?

Are they going to start measuring people?

[Tank]

1. 1p flights are never 1p

Even if you strike it lucky and find a 1p flight you actually want to take, Ryanair charge you for the pleasure of paying for it. To the tune of £4.75. For each passenger. Each way.

And that doesn’t even include…

2. The check-in charge

If you want to book a bag into the aircraft hold you must check in at the airport, which will cost you £4.75 per passenger, per way, if you book online and a whopping £10 per passenger, per way if you pay at the airport or over the phone. And it doesn’t matter if only one person in your party takes a bag, everyone else still has to pay to check in at the airport too.

This week Ryanair announced that it’s all change from May when airport check in will rocket to £20 per person, per way. That is a grand total of £160 for a return flight as a family of four.

All without factoring in…

3. The baggage charge

Which is an extortionate £9.50 per bag, per flight. Or £19 if you book at the airport or over the phone.

4. The sneaky weight limit

Ryanair set its weight limit for hold luggage at 15kg catching the majority of passengers off guard.

You’re not allowed to pool bags either so, even if you have a party of four sharing luggage, if the bag weighs 16kg you will be charged £14 per additional kilo. Nevermind that it makes not a jot of difference to the weight of the aeroplane.

5. Queues glorious queues

If you’re still talking to your partner following the inevitable blazing row about why you shouldn’t just pay the bloody charges listed above, you won’t be after being told to join the back of the enormous queue at the ‘payments’ desk.

6. The additional baggage charge

Probably best to wear all of your clothes at once on the flight if you are travelling somewhere for more than a couple of days (until Ryanair start charging passengers for excess body weight that is). Check more than one bag in and it will cost you another £19 per extra piece of luggage, per way.

7. The website is rubbish. On purpose.

You have no choice but to book a Ryanair flight through its website so the airline may as well make it as stressful an experience as possible. The website is ugly for starters, and it crashes. All the time.

Because you can’t easily browse for dates when cheap flights are available you have to dedicate at least five precious hours of your life to sitting in front of the screen and laboriously trying different combinations to find a good deal.

And if you don’t understand what the hell you’ve just pressed there is no one to e-mail. Because Ryanair want you to spend more money and phone its…

8. Premium rate internet helpline

Calls cost £1 a minute to speak to someone in a call centre. Be amazed if you can explain what your problem is for under a fiver.

9. You can only fly cheap mid week

To get the bargains that make the pain of Ryanair worth the gain you have to be prepared to fly on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, which can rule out the bargain European weekend break. Kind of why you wanted to book with Ryanair in the first place.

10. You have to travel at obscene hours.

Not only are you travelling on a Tuesday you also have to be prepared to wake up at 2am to get to the airport two hours ahead of your 6.55am flight. Or, if you choose a more civilised evening departure time, arrive in your destination at midnight with no where to stay because…

11. The destination airports are in the middle of nowhere.

Don’t expect to fly to Frankfurt if you book a flight to Frankfurt, to name one of many examples. Frankfurt Hahn airport where Ryanair land is 120 km from the city centre.

12. A bottle of water on board costs £3

I know the moral of this story is to buy a drink from WH Smith before you board, but it’s still annoying.

13. Sweaty, plasticky seats

Whatever you do, don’t wear shorts or you might be stuck to your seat forever and forced to listen to…

14. The in-flight musak

Pray that your flight is not delayed before it takes off or you’ll have to put up with the bleepy, computer-game inspired musak that is played on loop as your board, over, and over.

15. The fanfare

Do we really need the shrill fanfare that sounds when/if the flight lands on time? Or does it just ruin the first three minutes of each passenger's holiday?

16. You can’t book a seat

As if the British holiday ritual of crowding round the baggage carousel isn’t enough to warrant the use of blood-thinning medication, Ryanair invite you to partake in the extreme sport that is racing across the tarmac to get a seat next to your companion. Flip flops are a distinct disadvantage.

17. No refunds, ever

Unless you have a spare few days to waste do not even bother trying.

18. Poor compensation

A report by the UK’s Air Transport Users Council has found that the world’s airlines lost more than one million bags in 2007 and more than 42 million pieces of luggage were mishandled worldwide.

Guess who it named as the worst airline for compensation if your bag goes missing or is damaged?

19. You are always being flogged stuff

No we don't want your ridiculously overpriced travel insurance, car hire or Ryanair tea-towels. Go away.

20. Michael O’Leary himself

Don't tell me you can bear to make him any more smug?

[Mikkel]

But aren't they charging 1 Euro for loo paper too? So if you want to go through the motions, byo bog roll!

Bear the itch or pack a roll in your bag.

Sounds like we have to start packing as if we were going tramping if we are to use the budget airlines.

[Beemer]

I'm only 5'1" and I have another problem with airline seats - my feet dangle in mid-air! Even on British Airways when I had a seat in the top bit of the plane (lovely and quiet, no babies or fat people either!) I couldn't reach the footrest in front of me. So I end up with sore legs...

I hate armrest hoggers - if you have two arms and there are two armrests, that doesn't mean you get BOTH!!! I've had large guys with lanky arms stick their elbows out like wings and I've been tempted to tell them to fuck off and fly home under their own steam!

[McDuck]

1. 1p flights are never 1p

Even if you strike it lucky and find a 1p flight you actually want to take, Ryanair charge you for the pleasure of paying for it. To the tune of £4.75. For each passenger. Each way.

And that doesn’t even include…

2. The check-in charge

If you want to book a bag into the aircraft hold you must check in at the airport, which will cost you £4.75 per passenger, per way, if you book online and a whopping £10 per passenger, per way if you pay at the airport or over the phone. And it doesn’t matter if only one person in your party takes a bag, everyone else still has to pay to check in at the airport too.

This week Ryanair announced that it’s all change from May when airport check in will rocket to £20 per person, per way. That is a grand total of £160 for a return flight as a family of four.

All without factoring in…

3. The baggage charge

Which is an extortionate £9.50 per bag, per flight. Or £19 if you book at the airport or over the phone.

4. The sneaky weight limit

Ryanair set its weight limit for hold luggage at 15kg catching the majority of passengers off guard.

You’re not allowed to pool bags either so, even if you have a party of four sharing luggage, if the bag weighs 16kg you will be charged £14 per additional kilo. Nevermind that it makes not a jot of difference to the weight of the aeroplane.

5. Queues glorious queues

If you’re still talking to your partner following the inevitable blazing row about why you shouldn’t just pay the bloody charges listed above, you won’t be after being told to join the back of the enormous queue at the ‘payments’ desk.

6. The additional baggage charge

Probably best to wear all of your clothes at once on the flight if you are travelling somewhere for more than a couple of days (until Ryanair start charging passengers for excess body weight that is). Check more than one bag in and it will cost you another £19 per extra piece of luggage, per way.

7. The website is rubbish. On purpose.

You have no choice but to book a Ryanair flight through its website so the airline may as well make it as stressful an experience as possible. The website is ugly for starters, and it crashes. All the time.

Because you can’t easily browse for dates when cheap flights are available you have to dedicate at least five precious hours of your life to sitting in front of the screen and laboriously trying different combinations to find a good deal.

And if you don’t understand what the hell you’ve just pressed there is no one to e-mail. Because Ryanair want you to spend more money and phone its…

8. Premium rate internet helpline

Calls cost £1 a minute to speak to someone in a call centre. Be amazed if you can explain what your problem is for under a fiver.

9. You can only fly cheap mid week

To get the bargains that make the pain of Ryanair worth the gain you have to be prepared to fly on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, which can rule out the bargain European weekend break. Kind of why you wanted to book with Ryanair in the first place.

10. You have to travel at obscene hours.

Not only are you travelling on a Tuesday you also have to be prepared to wake up at 2am to get to the airport two hours ahead of your 6.55am flight. Or, if you choose a more civilised evening departure time, arrive in your destination at midnight with no where to stay because…

11. The destination airports are in the middle of nowhere.

Don’t expect to fly to Frankfurt if you book a flight to Frankfurt, to name one of many examples. Frankfurt Hahn airport where Ryanair land is 120 km from the city centre.

12. A bottle of water on board costs £3

I know the moral of this story is to buy a drink from WH Smith before you board, but it’s still annoying.

13. Sweaty, plasticky seats

Whatever you do, don’t wear shorts or you might be stuck to your seat forever and forced to listen to…

14. The in-flight musak

Pray that your flight is not delayed before it takes off or you’ll have to put up with the bleepy, computer-game inspired musak that is played on loop as your board, over, and over.

15. The fanfare

Do we really need the shrill fanfare that sounds when/if the flight lands on time? Or does it just ruin the first three minutes of each passenger's holiday?

16. You can’t book a seat

As if the British holiday ritual of crowding round the baggage carousel isn’t enough to warrant the use of blood-thinning medication, Ryanair invite you to partake in the extreme sport that is racing across the tarmac to get a seat next to your companion. Flip flops are a distinct disadvantage.

17. No refunds, ever

Unless you have a spare few days to waste do not even bother trying.

18. Poor compensation

A report by the UK’s Air Transport Users Council has found that the world’s airlines lost more than one million bags in 2007 and more than 42 million pieces of luggage were mishandled worldwide.

Guess who it named as the worst airline for compensation if your bag goes missing or is damaged?

19. You are always being flogged stuff

No we don't want your ridiculously overpriced travel insurance, car hire or Ryanair tea-towels. Go away.

20. Michael O’Leary himself

Don't tell me you can bear to make him any more smug?

Shit