Child support?

[FJRider]

I dont have kids and have no understanding of what most of the guys go through until I see it.

Thanks for your responses. I will pass them on. Just not damn fair this system!

Most citizen's advice centres, have a free legal advice sessions with lawyers, at various times. I might suggest your friend goes to one, and asks when/if they hold similar sessions.

[davebullet]

First things guys have to understand, the money is going towards the children. If you think you are "paying your ex" (which you are not) then you'll hold a grudge against her for no reason.

If you feel she is spending the money unwisely, then suggest you both share in the usual out of house expenses. She may think you are taking control and refuse this, but it is worth suggesting.

[MSTRS:Me]

First things guys have to understand, the money is going towards the children. If you think you are "paying your ex" (which you are not) then you'll hold a grudge against her for no reason.

This is only true if she is not on a benefit. And then only if she is ethical about it. How many times do we see her in a new car, lots of shit on HP etc, whilst your kids still only have what they did when you were there?
If she is on a benefit, then 'your contribution' goes direct to the Govt coffers. Theoretically, it is possible for you to pay more than she receives in benefits. How fair is that?

[cowboyz]

First things guys have to understand, the money is going towards the children. If you think you are "paying your ex" (which you are not) then you'll hold a grudge against her for no reason.

If you feel she is spending the money unwisely, then suggest you both share in the usual out of house expenses. She may think you are taking control and refuse this, but it is worth suggesting.

Could one of the mods please move this to jokes and humour and infract for posting in the wrong forum. Maybe another infraction for posting from the wrong planet.

[James Deuce]

First things guys have to understand, the money is going towards the children. If you think you are "paying your ex" (which you are not) then you'll hold a grudge against her for no reason.

If you feel she is spending the money unwisely, then suggest you both share in the usual out of house expenses. She may think you are taking control and refuse this, but it is worth suggesting.

All the guys I've spoken to in this situation say the same thing: I'd be happy if the amount of money I paid to the government went to the kids.

It doesn't matter if Mum is employed or not, the kids get a much lower figure than the Dads pay.

[FROSTY:Me]

Im kinda qualified to comment on this one I guess.
What IRD NEED to be aware of is that this man is supporting 3 other children. This has a substantial effect on the amount of child support paid.
Theres also family tax credits that help offset.

[Lissa]

Most guys are quite happy to pay child support when it is going towards helping the kids out, and mostly it does. If he is unhappy with what he is paying he should get a review. The IRD should take into account other children and expenses or else they all lose out.

I say if a relationship breaks up and some bitch wants to take the car then she should pay for that car and all its running expenses. Same for the children. Children should not be allowed to be used as barginning chips. I pay more for 1 child who doesnt live with us than I do to support the 2 kids that I have at home.

I agree. Once you have split then the only expenses you should pay should be for the children. Unfortunalty when some people split it becomes personal and a little childish. The best way is to have a private agreement, and that money is decided upon by both in the best interest of the child. I guess parents who have split have to put everything else aside and be a little grown up about things, everything should be about the kids. Guess I am lucky, me and my ex are co-parents and will be for the rest of our lives we have to get on and think only of the kids.

[alanzs]

No you're completely wrong there, it's entirely about what gender you are.

OK, I agree.

[crazyhorse]

Had a staff member over the last couple of weeks has had HIS visitation rights taken away by his ex. Now this guy is a loving father and wants to spend time with his son. Used to have the boy on equal time and paid for him while he was in his care.

It turned nasty with the ex and this week we get a notice telling us to take $$$xxxx from his pay from the IRD. Now this is based purely on % of his income. Nothing to do with his current mortgage and commitments or how much it actually costs to raise a child.

Its not that he doesnt want to pay but it seems that poor joe on the benefit has to pay way less than someone who is working for a living. This guy made a comment to me along the lines of "why work to better yourself if the IRD want to take it all"

Has anyone ever challenged a Child Support deduction? How easy or tough is it? I dont want to get into a he is wrong she is right. He wants to see the lad.

Good luck. IRD is like GOD. I have been on both sides of that fence - and no, it is not easy. I too would suggest getting a review done of his entitlement to pay. But frankly, they are tough and often are most unlikely to budge. Easiest option would be to have someone live with him and support her and her kids....... OR as we did, get smart - start a business and draw an income - only enough to survive on.