A Kiwi Biker rugby team

**Hitcher** · 1st May 2009, 11:36

If there was to be a Kiwi Biker rugby team, who should start in each of the on-field positions, and who should comprise the seven reserves?

Suggestions please.

The Selector's decision will be final, and no correspondence will be entered into.

**Beemer** · 1st May 2009, 11:39

A Kiwi Biker RUGBY team? Hitcher, have you lost the plot totally?

Walks away, shaking head sadly...

**bungbung** · 1st May 2009, 11:42

Can't you see that it is a trick?

Like asking who rides a Honda, but isn't gay

**Mully** · 1st May 2009, 11:45

Well, I can suggest several people as wan... oh, I mean flankers.

Better not start on the Hookers though.

**Lissa** · 1st May 2009, 11:46

Hitch the ref in the pink shirt.

**Dooly** · 1st May 2009, 12:06

Well I played senior premier grade as ...umm....yer ok.........hooker.

**Brian d marge** · 1st May 2009, 12:10

I want to be sacha the gay coach with a pekinese and a sharp sense of fashion

Stephanio

**Stirts** · 1st May 2009, 12:24

The Fullback...
The last line of defense who is always blamed when the opposition score. They also make great cheerleaders and will cheer everyone else on while clamoring about trying to keep up. They often gasp and wheeze while looking to the sideline for the nearest water bottle or opportunities to be included in the best photographs.

The Wingers...
There is one of these on each side of the field, left and right. They are known for having a marked reluctance to take responsibility and a tendency to panic under pressure. They are always the first to pull a muscle.

The Center...
Two again, one inside the other outside. When attacking, they are the ones who run quickly toward the nearest opponent and collapse into their arms. When they try to kick the ball it is always an adventure. Center's traditionally have high sperm counts They have an uncanny knack of tripping over themselves or being flattened by opposition players whom they were trying to run through.

The Fly Half...
In Golden Oldies rugby this is the big laugh position reserved for aging trendies who think they can still cut the mustard. They act tough by striking various poses, snarling, blowing snot, hoiking boogers, and wearing velcro inside their jockstraps. If someone comes near them they usually do one of three things. (1) kick the ball anywhere (2) run anywhere (3) assume the fetal position.

The Scrum Half...
A small knotty type person who usually does exercises on the day of the match. Spends the whole game trying to keep out of the reach of opposing forwards. Usually becomes cocky in the last fifteen minutes and gets battered.

The Front Row...
The vice ring of the scrum. Often their game is played in one part of the field, without the ball, while the rest proceed elsewhere. After 15 minutes they are always completely shagged and, like all alcoholics, vow this is the last time. Multi colored belly button lint is a prerequisite.

The Second Row... This sounds like a bit of me "rest one's head between two well cushioned thighs, clutching on to each others love handles"

This is the most restful position. To be able to rest one's head between two well cushioned thighs, clutching on to each others love handles can put some second rowers to sleep. They are known to enjoy the comfort of being comfortably tucked up at the bottom of a pile of players. An experienced second row can go through a complete game without making any contact with the ball whatsoever.

The Loose Forwards...
The main goal of the loose forwards is to complete the game with their hair still in place, and be in the front row of exotic dance establishments. They are also apt to remember plays in which they were involved, even though no one else who played in the same game has the faintest recollection of their participation. Some are known to shave their legs and the soles of their feet.