The English Langauge

[Sniper]

Strange English Language Definitions

English language

Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.

Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Baloney uh-lo'-nee: Where some hemlines fall

Bernadette urn'-a-det: The act of torching a mortgage

Burglarize ur'-gler-ize: What a crook sees with

Control kon-trol': A short, ugly inmate

Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers : Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

Eclipse i-klips': what an English barber does for a living

Eyedropper i'-drop-ur: a clumsy ophthalmologist

Heroes hee'-rhos: what a guy in a boat does

Left Bank left' bangk': what the robber did when his bag was full of loot

Misty mis'-tee: How golfers create divots

Paradox par'-u-doks: two physicians

Parasites par'-uh-sites: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist arm'-uh-sist: a helper on the farm

Polarize po'-lur-ize: what penguins see with

Primate pri'-mat: removing your spouse from in front of the TV

Relief
ee-leef': what trees do in the spring

Rubberneck
ub'-er-nek: what you do to relax your wife

Seamstress seem'-stres: describes 250 pounds in a size six

Selfish sel'-fish: what the owner of a seafood store does

Subdued sub-dood': like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man

Sudafed sood'-a-fed: bringing litigation against a government official

[James Deuce]

All the words ending in "ize", should end in "ise". Unless Rammstein's sardonic little ditty, "We're all living in America" has indeed become fact.