Suggested punishments for a theif...

**James Deuce** · 17th March 2005, 16:25

Originally Posted by Bounty

I like the old style punishment of putting people in the stocks, for them to be publicly humiliated, and then rotten food at them. I wonder what it would do now......

Net the stocks "victim" some tax payer funded counselling no doubt.

**James Deuce** · 17th March 2005, 16:32

Originally Posted by Biff Baff

Stephen Biddulph's books are excellent, and funny. You realise what a shit parent (well I did) you are when you read his books. Although he goes out of his way to make you feel normal. It is normal to beat small children with dead poultry isn't it?

I'm with the 'make sure he brings an adult' crowd. Although this could backfire if the adult concerned is a scumbag as well.

It made me realise how little active teaching of parenting I was ever given, apart from how to drink, swear, shout, and behave petulantly when I don't get my own way. And how to cope with physical and emotional pain. The most important thing I learned from Mr Biddulph was that I'm not important. You're much happier when you figure that out. I'm not special, and I can't demand to be the person I want to be and how important it is for boys to understand this by the time they reach adulthood.

I use boneless chicken breasts. They don't leave bruises.

Family group conferences are usually about establishing lines of communication within the family unit, not necessarily about getting redress for the victim. I think a male role model is necessary in this case, but as you say BB, he may be the scumbag that gave junior the idea. Or he might be completely oblivious to his 15 year old's desire to be parented.

MDU, I wonder if you can request a pre-conference meeting with the parents to establish whether they are going to support behaviour modification for junior, or whether they are just going to support their son, come what may?

**Ms Piggy** · 17th March 2005, 16:36

Ok MDU I have your PM and will give some thought.

Off the top of my head though, I would recomend being very clear and concise about what you want and how he made you feel.

I've never been to a Family Group Confernece so I couldn't comment on how effective they are. There are a lot of factors that would come into it of course. Knee capping the lad won't be 1 of them sorry boys.

Don't make it personal (which is easy for me to say of course), what I mean is, don't get into a mud slinging match b/c that will be a waste of time, ie. "You're a little shit who derserves to be knee capped & then have your computer taken away", is gonna make feck all difference. Something along the lines of , "I understand that it sucks being broke, but I work hard for the money I earn and it made me feel really angry to be ripped off by you." It depends on the young guy too. I mean he could be some cocky young thang who doesn't give a shite or this could be something that makes hium wake up & stop ripping people off.

Is it just you or everyone he has ripped off that will be present?

Do you know what he did with the money?

I hope this helps. Cheers CSL

**Ms Piggy** · 17th March 2005, 16:39

Originally Posted by Jim2

Family group conferences are usually about establishing lines of communication within the family unit, not necessarily about getting redress for the victim. I think a male role model is necessary in this case, but as you say BB, he may be the scumbag that gave junior the idea. Or he might be completely oblivious to his 15 year old's desire to be parented.

MDU, I wonder if you can request a pre-conference meeting with the parents to establish whether they are going to support behaviour modification for junior, or whether they are just going to support their son, come what may?

Good points here Jim

Definitely his parental units attitudes will have a lot to do with things.

**Blakamin** · 17th March 2005, 16:45

Originally Posted by jrandom

I'd just sit and stare at him in the group conference. Not say a word. Mebbe shave my head before I went in, that sort of thing.

I volunteer..... I might even smile the "black-tooth grin" as well....

(and then I'd find him later and.....)

**spudchucka** · 17th March 2005, 16:57

Originally Posted by ManDownUnder

Also... for the Boys and Girls in Blue out there... Family Group Conferences... any good? Is there anyone I shoudl request also be there? I understand for some with strong tribal affiliations having a Kaumauta there from the kid's Marai can have a strong influence.

In my experience the FGC will leave you in absolutely no doubt as to why the little darling has become a little shit. Meeting the parents usually makes it quite clear.

There are the exceptions though and we shouldn't write them all off before we have given them a chance. The FGC does work for some individuals, usually first timers who have a reasonable family background and good support from extended family.

The fact that he has been committing his crimes on the internet suggests that he has a computer and knows how to use it. Therefore he isn't thick and is probably from a middle class family that can afford items such as computers, (unless he stole that too). This may therefore be an indication that mum and dad aren't career criminals themselves and the process may actually be valid in this case.

I say its worth a crack.

**jrandom** · 17th March 2005, 17:17

Bit of a tangent here, but I recently finished reading a book that Mrs Random brought home - Into the Darklands, by Nigel Latta.

It's about sex offenders, but it does contain some information that gives a clue as to how some permanently screwed up career criminals are influenced by their childhood, and it probably relates to a lot of what CSL's been studying, too.

However, that probably doesn't have much to do with this particular little oxygen-thief-in-training. Like Spud says, he'll just be some stupid little well-fed middle-class twat. The fact that his parents haven't already contacted you about it and arranged appropriate redress, including a bit of backbreaking labour on the kid's part, etc (which *I* certainly would be doing if one of my kids ever did something like that) probably indicates that they're not going to be that much use, though.

So I still like the crowbar idea.

**Rainbow Wizard** · 17th March 2005, 18:01

Originally Posted by WINJA

HE NEEDS PAIN TO LEARN , CAN YOU PAY A RUGBY MATE TO SPEAR TACKLE HIM FUCKIN HARD , AND WHEN THE GUYS IN PAIN FOR HIM TO SAY "YOU OWE MY MATE A DEBT I WONT TELL YOU WHO MY MATE IS BUT I SUGGEST YOU PAY UP FAST" BET YA GET YOUR MONEY. UNFORTUNATLY THE DAYS ARE GONE OF THE COPS GIVING OUT A THICK EAR.

And pay $55 a week for the privelege.

**Rainbow Wizard** · 17th March 2005, 18:03

Originally Posted by Bounty

I like the old style punishment of putting people in the stocks, for them to be publicly humiliated, and then rotten food at them.

But set them stocks up on WINJA's front yard

**Skyryder** · 17th March 2005, 18:03

First of all let me wish you luck. You've got your heart in the right place for the kid but in all reality the little shit will put up a nice con job for all those present and the 'industry' will believe him. He sees you as a sucker and what has him pissed off is not that he stole, its that he got caught. I once had a little shit spit on me and got the offer of attendance in the family court that's a joke if ever there was. Family my arse, full of Justice Department officials. Let's know how it goes. Oh they will probably want your confidentialy on the proceedings. Tell 'em fuck and see how sympathetic they are then. That should get the ball rolling one way or another.

Skyryder

**Rainbow Wizard** · 17th March 2005, 18:07

Originally Posted by spudchucka

The fact that he has been committing his crimes on the internet suggests that he has a computer and knows how to use it.

Curtail any more net based pilfering real quick eh.

**Skyryder** · 17th March 2005, 18:14

Originally Posted by Zed

MDU, I know exactly how you feel. My wife won her very first auction (5 x paperback books) on TradeMe over a month ago and I paid the seller $51 immediately. Like you she got stung and the goods never arrived despite the seller emailing twice saying that the money had showed in the bank and that the parcel was on its way. Since then this seller has ripped off six other traders and has subsequently had his membership suspended, etc.

To cut a long story short, I did consider taking further action against the 'perp' but decided not to because it is "buyer beware" after all (and it wasn't a huge amount) and the reality of justice being served and this thief learning his lesson and coming clean is very very slim!

Hope it goes well for you and you prove me wrong!

Zed

Welcome back Zed I've missed you.

So because of your indifference to you being ripped off, the perp has committed further offences that may have been prevented if you had chosen to act. Oh well done.

Skyryder

**ManDownUnder** · 17th March 2005, 18:42

Originally Posted by Celtic_Sea_lily

Something along the lines of , "I understand that it sucks being broke, but I work hard for the money I earn and it made me feel really angry to be ripped off by you." It depends on the young guy too. I mean he could be some cocky young thang who doesn't give a shite or this could be something that makes him wake up & stop ripping people off.

Is it just you or everyone he has ripped off that will be present?

Do you know what he did with the money?

I hope this helps. Cheers CSL

Awesome thanks!

Yup - I'm not actually too cut up about the $55, and if I don't get it back I promise not to lose sleep... but what will annoy me is if he gets away with it.

I didn't know (or think) about the requirement for anonymity on the FGC... it's an interesting one and if it's a condition I need to accept as part of the process it'll be tempting to tell 'em where to put it. He's a thief, premeditated and that's as plain as as that.

And it is that exact issue I want addressed... hence the idea about putting him into thew army for a spell... a little (or LOT of) discipline will hopefully shake him till he doesn't know which way is up, then shape him till he can.

I think I'll be the only one present at the FGC (of all that he fleeced) because he's done it over the net. Others are (from memory) in Wellington etc, and they harder to bring up to Whangarei (to suit him of course).

Is it possible to have him come to me? It seems the right thing to happen...

Anyhoo - I'm taking notes and printing this stuff out (weel... the useful staff anyway).

Keep it coming... this is good stuff... mostly...
MDU

**WINJA** · 17th March 2005, 18:45

Originally Posted by Rainbow Wizard

But set them stocks up on WINJA's front yard

CANT AT THE MOMENT I HAVE 50 SHEEP IN MY FRONT YARD.I HAD TO PUT UP AN ELECTRIC FENCE TO KEEP THOSE AUSSIE TOURISTS OUT.GOT ROOM IN MY BACK YARD THOUGH