Hitcher!

[MaxB]

Mate, it's hard enough without bringing in the French.

Don't the Spanish also pronounce the "z" like "th" because some King had a lisp?

Yeth.

10chars

[Ronin]

Probably Coburn?

I've had this trouble all my life - my maiden name is Lougher - pronounced Locker - blame the bloody Welsh for that! In fact the 'ough' sound can be pronounced 14 different ways. Here is a sentence that uses them all:

"Rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman John Gough strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough on Coughlin Road near the lough (dry due to drought), he coughed and hiccoughed, then checked his horse's houghs and washed up in a trough."

As you can imagine, I got used to answering to any of those variations when I was at school - but I drew the line at the 'island' pronunciation - 'Faye Loafa'!

A: You are correct Spelling it over the ph results in stunned silence

B: Bling for a Damn fine effort

[Phurrball]

(snippy)
I'd like to take the full Collins dictionary and shove it so far up Laurie Bauer's arse you'd hear the pages rustle when he coughed...

Collins!

(Just how do you write a choking sound using our humble 26 letters?)

There can be only one!!!

And there'd be significantly more rustling from the wrecked rectum of said insertee as well...

[Beemer]

Collins!

(Just how do you write a choking sound using our humble 26 letters?)

There can be only one!!!

Disagree! I much prefer the Collins dictionary, but I also have the NZ Oxford one, a Maori one, and several specific editing dictionaries. All have their place but the Collins is the one I use the most.

[MisterD]

Collins!
There can be only one!!!

I grew up in Cambridge (the real one) and therefore the "O-word" is never mentioned...

[MSTRS:Me]

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.