Top 10 Valentine DONTS!!!

**Sniper** · 18th March 2005, 07:51

Top 10 Valentine's DON'Ts

No. 1 DON'T tell your girlfriend that this has been “one of the best” Valentine’s you’ve ever had. She won’t see that as a compliment.

No. 2 DON'T celebrate your special night by ordering tequila shots – Valentine’s is already poignant enough without inviting Jose Cuervo to the party! Angry shouting and upchucking that expensive dinner you paid for do not a romantic evening make.

No. 3 DON'T try to “avoid the rush.” There’s no such thing as a romantic 4:00 PM dinner (unless you’re over 65).

No. 4 DON'T try to slip how much you spent on her gift into the conversation. She already know the going rate for cubic zirconia, dude.

No. 5 DON'T Forget to compliment your wife or girlfriend on her Valentine’s ensemble. Compliment her dress, her hair, her shoes, her nails, her makeup, her jewelry, her fingers, her toes, her kneecaps, her kidneys, etc. Just keep complimenting

No. 6 DON'T willingly engage in any conversation during which your wife/girlfriend addresses you by your real name. If she calls you “Honey,” or “Sweetheart,” or even “Papi,” you’re good to go. But any conversation that starts with “Michael, I need to ask you a question…” is a potential minefield.

No. 7 DON'T take your Valentine to an NC-17 movie, even if it’s foreign and/or artsy. On a night like this, the only naked body you should be admiring is hers.

No. 8 DON'T be your usual, too-cool-to-wear-nice-clothes self. No need to buy a new suit, but come on man – maybe tonight isn’t the night for your “ironic” Dukes of Hazard t-shirt.

No. 9 DON'T order tequila shots. Do you hear me? I’m not kidding about this!

No. 10 DON'T play mood music that’s sexier than you are. If you’re not 100% certain you can provide genuine “sexual healing,” leave Marvin Gaye up on the shelf. Every man’s got to know his limitations

**Marmoot** · 18th March 2005, 07:55

i always think that "You look pretty tonight" is not actually a compliment.
For me it means "normally you look ugly but somehow tonight is different"

**bugjuice** · 18th March 2005, 08:03

bit late on this one, aren't we? It's been and gone, and without these guidelines, I wrecked it!!
inconsiderate....

**bugjuice** · 18th March 2005, 08:03

Originally Posted by Marmoot

i always think that "You look pretty tonight" is not actually a compliment.
For me it means "normally you look ugly but somehow tonight is different"

dimmed lighting helps... sometimes..
else no lights..

**Sniper** · 18th March 2005, 08:09

Yea well I forgot about Valentines day altogether

**Coldkiwi** · 18th March 2005, 11:41

you've got that right bugjuice! Where were these guidelines when I butchered Valentines day this year??
Actually, there should be a number 1B)DON'T FORGET VALENTINES DAY!!!! It may be commercial chutzpah but she cares and you will pay for it if you miss it!

**MSTRS:Me** · 18th March 2005, 11:58

There's also hell to pay when you both agree not to bother with it (and then You do) Oh dear

**bugjuice** · 18th March 2005, 13:04

Originally Posted by MSTRS

There's also hell to pay when you both agree not to bother with it (and then You do) Oh dear

yeah, but then if you didn't and she did, then there'd be hell to pay too.. women.. can't win mate. just stick with 2 wheels, bit more predicatble

**Coldkiwi** · 21st March 2005, 13:06

Originally Posted by bugjuice

yeah, but then if you didn't and she did, then there'd be hell to pay too.. women.. can't win mate. just stick with 2 wheels, bit more predicatble

no, no... .you've got it all wrong. if SHE decides 'lets not to bother with it' then you have a great chance to score brownie points when you do something anyway. Nothing over the top so she feels like a cheap skate but just a little something to show her you care anyway and you'll go well.
its like when you can tell she's upset and ask whats wrong, the response will always be 'nothing' and that she is fine. truth is nothing of the sort and she wants you to know that without being told (don't ask me why, this is just what I've learnt!)

**bugjuice** · 21st March 2005, 13:17

Originally Posted by Coldkiwi

no, no... .you've got it all wrong. if SHE decides 'lets not to bother with it' then you have a great chance to score brownie points when you do something anyway. Nothing over the top so she feels like a cheap skate but just a little something to show her you care anyway and you'll go well.
its like when you can tell she's upset and ask whats wrong, the response will always be 'nothing' and that she is fine. truth is nothing of the sort and she wants you to know that without being told (don't ask me why, this is just what I've learnt!)

oh, I know mate.. I just don't wanna know! That's what I was meaning.. Just stick to the golden rule - everything guys do is wrong, everything girls say and do is right. We have to live with this, sobeit

**SPman** · 21st March 2005, 17:34

Originally Posted by Coldkiwi

Actually, there should be a number 1B)DON'T FORGET VALENTINES DAY!!!! It may be commercial chutzpah but she cares and you will pay for it if you miss it!

Oh, too true!

**MikeL** · 21st March 2005, 17:57

Originally Posted by Coldkiwi

its like when you can tell she's upset and ask whats wrong, the response will always be 'nothing' and that she is fine. truth is nothing of the sort and she wants you to know that without being told (don't ask me why, this is just what I've learnt!)

It makes perfect sense. If you have to ask what's wrong, you must be an insensitive brute. Therefore you don't deserve to be helped to understand. You can't be forgiven. Nor can insensitive brutes be reasoned with. Only an extended experience of guilt and consequent soul-searching can bring about the necessary change in attitude.
Flattery and small but expensive tokens of appreciation can sometimes shorten the period of suffering...

**Mitch** · 21st March 2005, 18:04

OK I am going to have to be the objective female vote here

I think Valentine's Day is a crock of shit!!!!!!! Why do we have to have a bullshit day invented by card manufactuters to tell someone we care about..... "Hey I care about you"
That is something that should just come naturally.

Forget it, remember it. spend WAY too much money on some silly gift, WHATEVER.
My opinion (and trust me that is all it is) is that if you show the person your with how much they mean to you everyday, THAT should be enough!!

**Storm** · 21st March 2005, 18:05

Originally Posted by bugjuice

oh, I know mate.. I just don't wanna know! That's what I was meaning.. Just stick to the golden rule - everything guys do is wrong, everything girls say and do is right. We have to live with this, sobeit

I see you too, have a significant other, and have also resigned yourself

Oh well, back to the bikes