This scares the shit out of me

[Spuds1234]

Heres hoping the other half doesnt read this.

She really wants to get into motorcycling. She’s ridden on the back of my bikes plenty of times. I have no problems with this, but now she really wants to get a bike of her own and to tell the truth it really scares me. No shit. Its the last thing I thought I would be thinkin. I thought I would be over the moon.

I cant help be worried about how I would face up to her parents if something happened to her. Im going to be honest here (and hope she doesn’t read this) but when I go anywhere with her in the car (her driving) Im generally on edge. Her driving scares me. Not because she cant drive, but because of what she misses or what she doesn’t see until its uncomfortably to late for me. Many times I have pointed out something or actually told her to look out because someone has pulled out in front of her and she hasn’t seen it as quick as me. Maybe this is a hang up I have about either not being in control when she is driving or having to predict or see what cars are doing as early as possible to avoid any problems when riding a bike (which is all I know as I have never driven a car before).

I know her mother isn’t to keen on her getting a bike (from what the other half says). Im not sure how her father feels because he used to ride and he had his fair share of accidents too. I just know that if something happened to her I would feel guilty as hell for helping her into riding.

What am I to do? Your thoughts would be appreciated.

[varminter]

Good grief, I know what you mean. I think this is one for the girls to answer.

[BASS-TREBLE]

Oh Shit...

[AD345]

You say:

"babe - I think its great that you want to get your licence and a bike. It's going to take a while and will need some really good advice. What say I sgn us both up to some riding lessons and we do them together?"

after that its all gravy

[Mikkel]

Mate, you can not - and do not want to - live life for someone else. If she want's to get into bikes that is awesome, if you have any concerns just encourage her to get as much coaching and training as possible (not by you, someone who's not personally involved).

There will be other people out there who have worse observation skills than you girlfriend who have had a long and happy biking career.

[BMWST?]

i beleive her observation and anticipation skills will be enhanced by proper training.I think proper training sets the outlook on riding from the start...

[rocketman1]

you need to behonest with her,I believe that you need to tell her that you think that she may be a bit casual in her driving habits, and that it needs to change once she gets on a bike. I dont think you should stop her, she will be nervous once she is on a bike, this will automatically make her much more cautious and aware. One thing I have found from riding bikes is exactly that, it makes you much more aware.
I let my brother ride my other bike after not ridden for 30 years, he was shit scared he wouldnt go over 80 km/h, he was worried about dogs and animals running into the road. yet when he was young you could not stop him from speeding on his old 750 2/stroke kawasaki, how time changes things..
You cannot stop her, you just have to warn her of the dangers, she will do the rest.I wish my wife would ride a bike.

[Katman]

Invent a 'game' you can both play while in the car called Hazard Identification.

May sound stupid but if it teachs her observation skills then you both win.

[dpex]

Heres hoping the other half doesnt read this.

She really wants to get into motorcycling. She’s ridden on the back of my bikes plenty of times. I have no problems with this, but now she really wants to get a bike of her own and to tell the truth it really scares me. No shit. Its the last thing I thought I would be thinkin. I thought I would be over the moon.

I cant help be worried about how I would face up to her parents if something happened to her. Im going to be honest here (and hope she doesn’t read this) but when I go anywhere with her in the car (her driving) Im generally on edge. Her driving scares me. Not because she cant drive, but because of what she misses or what she doesn’t see until its uncomfortably to late for me. Many times I have pointed out something or actually told her to look out because someone has pulled out in front of her and she hasn’t seen it as quick as me. Maybe this is a hang up I have about either not being in control when she is driving or having to predict or see what cars are doing as early as possible to avoid any problems when riding a bike (which is all I know as I have never driven a car before).

I know her mother isn’t to keen on her getting a bike (from what the other half says). Im not sure how her father feels because he used to ride and he had his fair share of accidents too. I just know that if something happened to her I would feel guilty as hell for helping her into riding.

What am I to do? Your thoughts would be appreciated.

I'm just totally amazed that sundry of the 'ladies' here haven't screamed.

Allow me, on their behalf. YOU ARROGANT PRICK!

Where did you get the right to PRESUME' the girl can't learn to ride, and maybe even better than you.

It's not you, nor her parents, of any other arsehole with innate mysoginistic feelings which matter here. Here is a PERSON, not a female, who wants to ride.

Would you have the same reservations if it was your little brother wanting to ride? Nope!

But the 'little woman' barefoot, pregnant and at the stove, as all good shielas should be, but doesn't want to be, freaks you out, Right?

You arrogant prick!

I can't believe I'm reading such shit in 2009!

[lankyman]

Just tell her man...that's what I did. When she said she wanted a bike I laughed at her and reminded her of a certain instance of driving the wrong way around a round-about.

[Tigadae]

Wait till she stars shopping on trade me and bikers shops, for the cool biker chick gears that are now available in good old kiwi land, spending your money and gaining new ridding skills, the future is not looking bright for you,

[Katman]

....usual dpex bullshit.......

So it's wrong to be concerned about someone else's welfare now?

:weird:

[Spuds1234]

Sorry guys I didnt want to make it seem like I didnt want her to get into riding. I know it came out a bit like that.

The point I was trying to make is that Im worried for her safety. While I had considered that she will have to get better, it is the "before she gets better" that scares me.

I wanted this thread to be more about me, not her. Im scared, not her. She couldnt be more happier and Im definitely not stopping her. Im helping her the best I can. Ive given her gear that fits (near enough that the padding wont twist around in an accident although she still needs to get a helmet), Im teaching the basics of riding off road first of easy bikes to ride. Im trying to remove all road blocks in her way.

This is MY hang up not hers. IM scared for HER. I dont want to pass that on to her incase it stops her doing what she wants to do.

[Muppet]

I'm just totally amazed that sundry of the 'ladies' here haven't screamed.

Allow me, on their behalf. YOU ARROGANT PRICK!

Where did you get the right to PRESUME' the girl can't learn to ride, and maybe even better than you.

It's not you, nor her parents, of any other arsehole with innate mysoginistic feelings which matter here. Here is a PERSON, not a female, who wants to ride.

Would you have the same reservations if it was your little brother wanting to ride? Nope!

But the 'little woman' barefoot, pregnant and at the stove, as all good shielas should be, but doesn't want to be, freaks you out, Right?

You arrogant prick!

I can't believe I'm reading such shit in 2009!

Total over reaction. The guy's got the balls to ask for help and you erupt into a tirade of insults and slander. I think he would have reservations if it were his little bother actually. In my experience, I find the people doing the criticising are generally the worst offenders, a bit like a reformed smoker.

[Harvd]

I'm just totally amazed that sundry of the 'ladies' here haven't screamed.

Allow me, on their behalf. YOU ARROGANT PRICK!

Where did you get the right to PRESUME' the girl can't learn to ride, and maybe even better than you.

It's not you, nor her parents, of any other arsehole with innate mysoginistic feelings which matter here. Here is a PERSON, not a female, who wants to ride.

Would you have the same reservations if it was your little brother wanting to ride? Nope!

But the 'little woman' barefoot, pregnant and at the stove, as all good shielas should be, but doesn't want to be, freaks you out, Right?

You arrogant prick!

I can't believe I'm reading such shit in 2009!

Woah chill out man, im in the same situation with a good mate of mine who if you replaced gf with friend and all the shes with hes would fit perfectly in the o/p. For me its the fear of me looking to be the cause if he did something stupid, as i naturally would, as im the only person he knows on a bike.

but yeah. you can only help where needed and try to get them into it in the safest way possible, after that it up to them

[NighthawkNZ]

I cant help be worried about how I would face up to her parents if something happened to her. Im going to be honest here (and hope she doesn’t read this) but when I go anywhere with her in the car (her driving) Im generally on edge. Her driving scares me. Not because she cant drive, but because of what she misses or what she doesn’t see until its uncomfortably to late for me. Many times I have pointed out something or actually told her to look out because someone has pulled out in front of her and she hasn’t seen it as quick as me. Maybe this is a hang up I have about either not being in control when she is driving or having to predict or see what cars are doing as early as possible to avoid any problems when riding a bike (which is all I know as I have never driven a car before).

...

What am I to do? Your thoughts would be appreciated.

My other half use to be similar... would miss things when she was driving... but now she is riding she is more aware of her surroundings and overall I think made her a better cage driver as well...

I was nervous when she got into riding as well and on one ride riding the to aramoana nearly going in the harbour...I was following and could do nothing but watch... but she made it... she also thought when we pulled up down the road that was going to blow my stack... I just ask calmly what she did wrong, she answered and I said calmy back... well you won't do that again... she said no i won't... btw she never has ;) and is a pretty good rider now.

You best bet is if she wants to ride her own ride... let her... help her, teach her, and be supportive... do the ride right course with her, and any other, get her a mentor as well. Answer her questions as there will be many...
it can be a fun thing, means you will always have a some one to ride with and go places with...

[ViragoVixen]

From a chick's point of view.... she's her own person and ultimately responsible for herself. If she wants to ride you can't pull a double standard. Riding will make her a better driver - it has for me. To help ease your mind (and her family) make sure she goes on a proper course with qualified instructors. They're pretty good at reality checks whilst being supportive. Put her on something like a GN to begin with and let her try. Teaming her up for learner rides with other girls would be good too.

My 2 cents worth.

[kunoichi]

LOL it's not like us girlies don't feel the same way about our male counterparts if they wanna get into racing or geting a bike. But all u can do (as females seem to have got this down to an art) is be supportive but u gota let them fall. And if in doubt, teach her how to fall off her bike properly. Most of the time there is no damage to the rider if they don't hit another car, and i'v skidded my bike out heaps of time to know this for a fact. And i don't think she'll be arguing if u want to be her guardian angel on the road. Mayb after u see how her riding has improved (just from being more cautious because she's on a bike) it'll put ur nerves to rest. But i say good on u for being sensitive enough to care, as long as u don't stifle her. :rockon:

[Spuds1234]

Man stirred the tea pot faster than I thought


You say:

"babe - I think its great that you want to get your licence and a bike. It's going to take a while and will need some really good advice. What say I sgn us both up to some riding lessons and we do them together?"

after that its all gravy

I think thats the best advice so far.


Mate, you can not - and do not want to - live life for someone else. If she want's to get into bikes that is awesome, if you have any concerns just encourage her to get as much coaching and training as possible (not by you, someone who's not personally involved).

There will be other people out there who have worse observation skills than you girlfriend who have had a long and happy biking career.

Not trying to live her life for her, just concerned about her safety on a bike. Could you look at your partner's parents in the eye if you were the person who got her into a hobbie/lifestyle that killed her?


i beleive her observation and anticipation skills will be enhanced by proper training.I think proper training sets the outlook on riding from the start...

Im going to lump this in with what AD345 said and I think I will organise some proper training for both of us at some stage before, or just after she gets her license.


you need to behonest with her,I believe that you need to tell her that you think that she may be a bit casual in her driving habits, and that it needs to change once she gets on a bike. I dont think you should stop her, she will be nervous once she is on a bike, this will automatically make her much more cautious and aware. One thing I have found from riding bikes is exactly that, it makes you much more aware.
I let my brother ride my other bike after not ridden for 30 years, he was shit scared he wouldnt go over 80 km/h, he was worried about dogs and animals running into the road. yet when he was young you could not stop him from speeding on his old 750 2/stroke kawasaki, how time changes things..
You cannot stop her, you just have to warn her of the dangers, she will do the rest.I wish my wife would ride a bike.

The thing is I dont want to put the idea into her head that she is going to crash because that is exactly what she will do then. I want her to go out there with the attitude that she will have heaps of fun and be as safe as possible if she rides well and wears the right gear.


I'm just totally amazed that sundry of the 'ladies' here haven't screamed.

Allow me, on their behalf. YOU ARROGANT PRICK!

Where did you get the right to PRESUME' the girl can't learn to ride, and maybe even better than you.

I never said I didnt want her to ride, I just said I was scared for her safety

It's not you, nor her parents, of any other arsehole with innate misogynistic feelings which matter here. Here is a PERSON, not a female, who wants to ride.

And Im not stopping her, Im helping her get into bikes dispite my concern for her safety

Would you have the same reservations if it was your little brother wanting to ride? Nope!

Your right I didnt when my brother started riding the first time. After someone nearly killed him while he was riding and he bought a new bike a year or so later I definitely had thoughts along the same vein as this

But the 'little woman' barefoot, pregnant and at the stove, as all good shielas should be, but doesn't want to be, freaks you out, Right?

Thats not even close to my opinion of woman. Im sorry if I led you to think that with my first post

You arrogant prick!
Your entitled to your opinion


Sorry to give you the wrong idea. The last thing I want to do is dictate her life and what she can or cant do, and what she can or cant do well. I believe that all people (of all races and gender) are equal until I meet them and form an opinion on who they are. I dont ever want to control someone's life.


Wait till she stars shopping on trade me and bikers shops, for the cool biker chick gears that are now available in good old kiwi land, spending your money and gaining new ridding skills, the future is not looking bright for you,

She already is.

[Mikkel]

Sorry guys I didnt want to make it seem like I didnt want her to get into riding. I know it came out a bit like that.

The point I was trying to make is that Im worried for her safety. While I had considered that she will have to get better, it is the "before she gets better" that scares me.

I wanted this thread to be more about me, not her. Im scared, not her. She couldnt be more happier and Im definitely not stopping her. Im helping her the best I can. Ive given her gear that fits (near enough that the padding wont twist around in an accident although she still needs to get a helmet), Im teaching the basics of riding off road first of easy bikes to ride. Im trying to remove all road blocks in her way.

This is MY hang up not hers. IM scared for HER. I dont want to pass that on to her incase it stops her doing what she wants to do.

Good on ya mate. The best advice I can give is to try not to worry too much, when it comes to people close to you there will always be some concerns you can not erase. That's natural... you can choose to take that impulse and either turn it into something positive (i.e. appreciate them more because you are more aware of the fact that nothing is permanent) or something negative (i.e. try and limit them because you are unable to handle the pressure).

My partner sort of expected me to crash at some point (very likely if you, like me, enjoy pushing the envelope) but she has never told me to be careful or in any other way expressed any notable concern for my safety. Not because she doesn't worry, because I know she does, but because she knows that I merely doing what I want to do and that I am aware of the risks and potential consequences involved. I very much appreciate that!

[Thani-B]

I agree with VigaroVixen. Point her towards a learner friendly bike, and get some professional training for her. Do them together if it would be the only way to get her to do it. You will worry each time she goes for a ride but you just need to be there to help her get back on the bike if she comes off and to support her if she has a close call. Riding should make her more aware. Good luck!

[Mikkel]

Could you look at your partner's parents in the eye if you were the person who got her into a hobbie/lifestyle that killed her?

Certainly, provided I hadn't pressurised her in getting into it.

[tigertim20]

Sorry guys I didnt want to make it seem like I didnt want her to get into riding. I know it came out a bit like that.

The point I was trying to make is that Im worried for her safety. While I had considered that she will have to get better, it is the "before she gets better" that scares me.

I wanted this thread to be more about me, not her. Im scared, not her. She couldnt be more happier and Im definitely not stopping her. Im helping her the best I can. Ive given her gear that fits (near enough that the padding wont twist around in an accident although she still needs to get a helmet), Im teaching the basics of riding off road first of easy bikes to ride. Im trying to remove all road blocks in her way.

This is MY hang up not hers. IM scared for HER. I dont want to pass that on to her incase it stops her doing what she wants to do.

I understand your concerns, I am teaching my oartner to ride at the momment, first pootle by herself, she binned the bike, minor luckily, a couple bruises including the ego..

What I have found in my experience, and from watching others, is that riding a bike makes you more aware of how much more prone you are to danger than when in a car, and that makes you a better rider and driver all round.

I would say you should tell her straight out that you are concerned, and suggest that you BOTH do some advanced rider training, You will undoubtedly get something out of it too

[PrincessBandit]

Good on you for baring your concerns here. I'm sure your wife would actually be thrilled that you're so worried about her, probably not so enthralled by your observations of her driving! - but you are perfectly entitled to your assessment of her skills.

I am probably in the minority of things being the other way round in our house. It was me who started riding before my husband or son, and my husband was initially skeptical and concerned. However he was supportive and after much discussion of how we would approach it we embarked on the adventure together. I have also been very lucky to have the advice and help of my brother in my learning.

You've been given some pretty sound advice by others already in previous posts so I'm sure you'll find a way to reconcile the conflicting feelings you're having. Good luck, and enjoy it together.

[Spuds1234]

General opinion then seems to be to talk about it with her and get some lessons from someone other than me when she gets her bike and licience.

I was already looking at getting someone to teach her the finer points of riding once she got her licience because lets face it its not easy to teach someone to do something sometimes and I like a smooth sailing relationship. No need to rock the boat as far as Im concerned.

[AD345]

With this:



The thing is I dont want to put the idea into her head that she is going to crash because that is exactly what she will do then. I want her to go out there with the attitude that she will have heaps of fun and be as safe as possible if she rides well and wears the right gear.


Plus this:


Im going to lump this in with what AD345 said and I think I will organise some proper training for both of us at some stage before, or just after she gets her license.


The two of you are going to be just fine

have fun!

[jrandom]

Get her to some trackdays.

Best training she'll ever do.

No point memorising safety tips if she can't control the motorcycle.

[RIPOFF]

dude show her this stuff she will be happy that you genly care abt her well being,Surely she knws how you feel abt her driven already (wt wife hasnt heard her husband complain abt thr driven skills)im one of thos f#*kn back seat drivers.My son jt turnd 15 and is book in for his licences bike and car and we got talkn about who would get it in the neak if he came a cropper on the road so he went to Mum and said you carnt blame anyone ie (Dad) for my choices.still hard tho

[CookMySock]

Stop worrying, and let her have fun. If she doesn't kill herself on a motorbike it will be in a car or on the point of a sharp kitchen knife - you can't save the world.

And stop thinking you are so clever too.. Thats just a lot of elitist bullshit.. Everyone else has skills relevant to their lives, just like you and I do. You can't judge them by their skill levels, nor can they judge you by theirs.

Teach her how to steer and brake, and buy her a defensive driving course (so she can lessen the time on her restricted, wink wink) and watch her develop into a great biker and a better cager to boot.

Good luck!

Steve

[davebullet]

I know what you mean. My ex couldn't observe or make quick judgements and put actions into place. I would worry if she rode a motorcycle. My current partner is the opposite. Decisive and observant. Drives a car and rides a bike with authority.

Forget this man / woman shit. It's about someone who may come a cropper if they don't have the skills to observe and react.

I like Katman's idea. With practice, I'm sure its something she can learn / improve on.

[Viscount Montgomery]

Girlfriends riding motorcycles? That's crazy talk. Buy some new cutlery or lacy curtains or something before it's all too late, and just hope like hell this silliness passes. You don't want this nightmare to become reality

[scumdog]

Can't be naffed reading the whole thread but when CB (aka normajeane on KB) decided to 'steal' the Sporty off me and start riding again my mother-in-law wasn't too chuffed.

After about three+ years with no binning she is (just) starting to relax. (the mo-in-law)

Oh, and she ain't my 'girlfriend' no more..

[Danae]

Riding would definitely make her a better driver.

I have my car learners (still...jeez) and commuting on my scooter really made me aware of potential hazards and how other road users act. After months of being too scared to learn to drive (manual car) I got back in the cage and drove around no worries. No close calls or nuffink.

I say go do some courses with her, like ride right ride safe. I plan to do this course at some point and I've heard only good things about it.

Tell her you want her to be as safe as possible and that you worry about her, but don't remark on her driving skills. ;)

[Oakie]

Mate, it's like watching your kids grow up. Sometimes you've just got to let them do scary shit and hope for the best.

Look on the bright side though, if she becomes a biker chick it'll probably make her a better car driver.

Also, there's nothing much nicer than hitting the road with your 'significant other'. Hard to explain but I find going through a set of curves with both bikes in close proximity is a bit like sex on wheels.

[DEATH_INC.]

Put her on a 'safe' bike (gn, fxr etc) with heaps of good gear and self preservation will take care of her. A bike is way scarier for some one to ride than sitting in the safety of a tin cage. I think you'll find she'll be fine. But as mentioned earlier, get her to the track, or off road for a bit, so the basics become more natural, then she can have more of her mind free to concentrate on looking out for things ( This is what Keith Code teaches ).

[Mystic13]

Heres hoping the other half doesnt read this.

She really wants to get into motorcycling. She’s ridden on the back of my bikes plenty of times. I have no problems with this, but now she really wants to get a bike of her own and to tell the truth it really scares me. No shit. Its the last thing I thought I would be thinkin. I thought I would be over the moon.

I cant help be worried about how I would face up to her parents if something happened to her.

I just know that if something happened to her I would feel guilty as hell for helping her into riding.

What am I to do? Your thoughts would be appreciated.

Been there done that. I have the added problem that my partner has one daughter and no other family here. So if my partner goes what would my step daughter think. If we both go then what?

You've been in your other halfs shoes, when you started out. You chose to ride and it was you. There were probably people around you who weren't so keen whether they said it or not.

To me it's pretty simple. This is her choice. She knows the risks. If at some point she is injured or worse then at least she did what she enjoyed.

Some people say "aren't you afraid of dying?.... and the answer is no!, "I'm afraid of not living life to the full!"

If my partner dies riding then I would be celebrating her life and the fact that she got to do what she wanted to. Just as I'd expect her to do the same.

I didn't get my partner into riding. She saw and experienced it through me and decided she wanted to do that. I couldn't make her do anything.

You can't beat yourself up because someone else chose to do something. You can do everything you can to help and support.

My 11 year old son rides and I do everything I can to teach him how to ride well. And he gets the same enjoyment out of riding that you and I do. I have 3 daughters that don't ride and 2 of them won't even go on the back of a bike. We all make our own choices and hope the people who truly love us support us.

If something happens and a family member has a problem with you. That's their problem, their issues and their hang ups.

That's what I think.

[vifferman]

My other half use to be similar... would miss things when she was driving... but now she is riding she is more aware of her surroundings and overall I think made her a better cage driver as well...
Eggs Zachary.
My wife commutes by bus, and when she went in the car with me on the weekend she would scare the crap out of me with a sudden exclamation or intake of breath, which always turned out to be some hazard I'd identified seconds before and was alert to, rather than some new hazard I'd missed that was now responsible for our imminent doom!

Spuds1234 - I know EXACTLY how you feel. My wife is a good driver, but I felt the same way as you. When she was pillioning on my bike I was worried sick about the thought we might have an accident and she'd get hurt. At one stage, she was toying with the idea of buying her own bike, and I'm glad she changed her mind. It would've been great to have gone riding together, but very stressful too, even if she was the world's greatest rider. I couldn't bear to see her injured.

[kunoichi]

I couldn't bear to see her injured.

Don't ever have kids then! LOL. Truth is u'r always gunna b worried sick about the safety of somebody u love, but it's even worse to see them unhappy with their life because u won't let them do what they want with their own life. My hubby wants to get into racing and my lil bro wants to get a bike. I hate the idea of seeing them injured but i remind myself that wen they are in their death bed, i don't want to be the cause of any regret they may have with their life. Taking on that responsibility of being the cause of regret is even worse than the thought of seeing them in a cast for a couple of months. Maybe give that a thought.

[Katman]

If she doesn't kill herself on a motorbike it will be in a car or on the point of a sharp kitchen knife

Do you ever stop and think before you open your mouth?

[CookMySock]

Do you ever stop and think before you open your mouth?Not everyone works the same way as you do.

Steve

[vifferman]

Don't ever have kids then!
I have three, mostly All Growed Up. Would you like one? Only the youngest currently has a girlfriend...

[Mschvs]

She really wants to get into motorcycling.

I cant help be worried about how I would face up to her parents if something happened to her. Im going to be honest here (and hope she doesn’t read this) but when I go anywhere with her in the car (her driving) Im generally on edge. Her driving scares me. Not because she cant drive, but because of what she misses or what she doesn’t see until its uncomfortably to late for me. Many times I have pointed out something or actually told her to look out because someone has pulled out in front of her and she hasn’t seen it as quick as me. Maybe this is a hang up I have about either not being in control when she is driving or having to predict or see what cars are doing as early as possible to avoid any problems when riding a bike (which is all I know as I have never driven a car before).

What am I to do? Your thoughts would be appreciated.

I would get her a cheap 125 and stick her out to graze for a week or so in a paddock... let her go nuts on it, get a feel for it and come off without killing herself.

Teach her a few skills, tell her to watch out for fucking IDIOTS (i.e. every other driver on the road) then get her to do the learners licence course ... if she can pass then sweet ... there are plenty of people out there who can't!!

[Mschvs]

And once again I will say, EVERYTHING is dangerous, not just motorcycles.

Who got her into driving? If she has a car accident and hurts or kills herself, does that make it their fault?

[kunoichi]

I have three, mostly All Growed Up. Would you like one? Only the youngest currently has a girlfriend...
LOL, my parents have left me and my lil bro in aux alone to do business, so i'v taken on the mother role already, i might skip on adding another to my bunch. Already thinking of how on earth i'll break it to the parents that now he wants a motorbike!...i'm a gone-er for sure!




Who got her into driving? If she has a car accident and hurts or kills herself, does that make it their fault?

She has a point! :yes:

[dpex]

Total over reaction. The guy's got the balls to ask for help and you erupt into a tirade of insults and slander. I think he would have reservations if it were his little bother actually. In my experience, I find the people doing the criticising are generally the worst offenders, a bit like a reformed smoker.

Answer this Q. Which NZ currency note features Kate Shepherd?

And when you get past that basic q then ask why she's there.

You fake , so called men, piss me off. You presume the 'little' woman is just that.

Did any woman intercede when you were learning to ride, and asserting, 'Oh No! He might hurt himself!'?

Of course not, cos learning to ride a bike is guy stuff, Right?

But what will happen to you if 'she' goes out there and trashes herself and leaves you looking after the baby, and there's no other fuck in the frame?

But what happens when you go out there and do the same and leave her with the baby?

'Oh well, That's different. That was me doing man stuff.'

Get a grip, you lot. This is 2009. We have gotten past the concept of women being pregnant and bare-foot behind the stove.

Ergo. Women are now allowed to make as many mistakes as we boys do.....without the boys asserting they shouldn't on account of they're just girls.

[Mom]

What am I to do? Your thoughts would be appreciated.

I have not read this thread past your first post. A couple of things that immediately spring to my mind are...

Just because your wifes driving gives you the shits does not mean she is a bad driver, she drives differently to you is all. She approaches some situations faster and avoids accidents, perhaps she has more confidence that you do, sees things quicker and judges distances better? Has she actually crashed the car?

Is your wife a lunatic, balls out, no limits kind of driver? Or is she a competent driver who wants to learn to ride a bike? Get her on a bike!

You should support her, encourage her to start riding. Make sure she learns the skills, ride slowly with her while she develops them. Make sure she has a really good, safe learners bike. Best thing you could ever do for your relationship, is to support her to start riding so she can join you on the road.

Only thing to be afraid of is she will show you up and be a better rider really :D

[Spuds1234]

Answer this Q. Which NZ currency note features Kate Shepherd?

And when you get past that basic q then ask why she's there.

You fake , so called men, piss me off. You presume the 'little' woman is just that.

Did any woman intercede when you were learning to ride, and asserting, 'Oh No! He might hurt himself!'?

Of course not, cos learning to ride a bike is guy stuff, Right?

But what will happen to you if 'she' goes out there and trashes herself and leaves you looking after the baby, and there's no other fuck in the frame?

But what happens when you go out there and do the same and leave her with the baby?

'Oh well, That's different. That was me doing man stuff.'

Get a grip, you lot. This is 2009. We have gotten past the concept of women being pregnant and bare-foot behind the stove.

Ergo. Women are now allowed to make as many mistakes as we boys do.....without the boys asserting they shouldn't on account of they're just girls.

Its the $10 note. Sir Ed is on the 5. Dont know the the 20, 50 is some maori guy, and the 100 eludes me to.

You really havnt read this thread properly have you? I dont want to stop her from riding, Im doing everything I can to get her into riding safely. All I posted is that I was concerned for her safety, a reason why, and that I would feel guilty as hell if someone took her out.

Never did I say I didnt want her to ride.


I have not read this thread past your first post. A couple of things that immediately spring to my mind are...

Just because your wifes driving gives you the shits does not mean she is a bad driver, she drives differently to you is all. She approaches some situations faster and avoids accidents, perhaps she has more confidence that you do, sees things quicker and judges distances better? Has she actually crashed the car?

Is your wife a lunatic, balls out, no limits kind of driver? Or is she a competent driver who wants to learn to ride a bike? Get her on a bike!

You should support her, encourage her to start riding. Make sure she learns the skills, ride slowly with her while she develops them. Make sure she has a really good, safe learners bike. Best thing you could ever do for your relationship, is to support her to start riding so she can join you on the road.

Only thing to be afraid of is she will show you up and be a better rider really :D

Yea she has had a few scrapes in her car this year already. She doesnt drive balls out, she just seems to miss things. I know this because of the look of shock on her face when she pulls out infront of things.

Im not afraid of her being a better rider than me, that would be wonderful if she was (means I wouldnt have to worry). I long ago learnt not to care what other people thought of how fast I go, how big my chicken strips are and how flashy my bike is etc. Motorcycling is all about yourself when you boil things down.

[kit]

Yep, let her loose in a paddock, great way to learn.....then find some other female riders, for her to go for a few rides with, as a few women riders I know always used to feel a bit intimadated with there partners riding behind them....especially when they were learning, you know when you have made a mistake, and had a bit of a scare, you don't need your partner reinforcing it.
Definately get her out for a trackday, thay are fantastic for confidence, gaining more skills and she will come off one of those with a fantastic smile you won't wipe off for days:msn-wink:

[Sammy12]

If you tell her she cant have a bike, it'll make her want it even more.

Hint***: reverse psychology--
Let her have a bike.. see how she goes. After a while she may decide riding isnt for her!
Riding will make her more aware of the hazards, either way she'll be a better car driver by the end of it!

[scumdog]

"We're all dead in the long run, it's just how many laughs we get along the way that counts"<_<

So is riding going to be one of HER laughs?

[Goblin]

Sorry guys I didnt want to make it seem like I didnt want her to get into riding. I know it came out a bit like that.

The point I was trying to make is that Im worried for her safety. While I had considered that she will have to get better, it is the "before she gets better" that scares me.

I wanted this thread to be more about me, not her. Im scared, not her. She couldnt be more happier and Im definitely not stopping her. Im helping her the best I can. Ive given her gear that fits (near enough that the padding wont twist around in an accident although she still needs to get a helmet), Im teaching the basics of riding off road first of easy bikes to ride. Im trying to remove all road blocks in her way.

This is MY hang up not hers. IM scared for HER. I dont want to pass that on to her incase it stops her doing what she wants to do.I feel your pain. My daughter has recently got her first bike and had her first bin today. Luckily no other vehicle was involved. Nothing I can do to stop her learning the hard way but Im hoping that having a bike as her first means of transport will teach her to be more aware of everything around her.
It's bloody hard but I have to put my fears for her aside and leave her to it. I am lucky to have a Pete who's been riding for about 35 years so she is more inclined to listen to him, rather than mum who only nags. She even went straight to him rather than me after her wee bin today.

I think the trackdays are a great idea too.

[ajturbo]

harden the fuck up... if it is her choice... be a man and tell her

"GREAT my love!!!"

give her ALL YOUR SUPPORT...

or fuck off and find another one (girlfriend)... why the fuck should YOU stop ANYONE from doing something that THEY want to do???

why are YOU so speical?? that only you can ride a bike but not her?????????

[ajturbo]

sorry about that last post....

but i cannot stand it when one person is doing one thing and then thinks it not ok for someone else to do it....

[Spuds1234]

Just to make it clear. I dont want to stop her. Im helping her in everyway I can. We are going to look at a bike tomorrow morning hopefully.

I just dont want to see her hurt. That is my problem.

Im not going to stop her doing anything. This thread is all about my stupid feelings. She just happens to be the reason for them. I know that and Im not going to stop her from doing anything.

I would feel guilty if she got herself killed is all. Really what I wanted was advice on how to deal with this.

[Goblin]

Just to make it clear. I dont want to stop her. Im helping her in everyway I can. We are going to look at a bike tomorrow morning hopefully.

I just dont want to see her hurt. That is my problem.

Im not going to stop her doing anything. This thread is all about my stupid feelings. She just happens to be the reason for them. I know that and Im not going to stop her from doing anything.

I would feel guilty if she got herself killed is all. Really what I wanted was advice on how to deal with this.Good onya. All you can do is face the fear and handle the jandal.

All the best with the bike shopping!

Personally, I'd be more worried about her becoming a member on here.:eek:

[Spuds1234]

Personally, I'd be more worried about her becoming a member on here.:eek:

To late. Shes really into this place.

[Goblin]

To late. Shes really into this place.Oh man are you in deep shit!:shit: :laugh:

[Dave-]

my 2c

she's a clever chick dude.

the motorcycling will sharpen her skills.

[Gareth123]

LOL now you know how Amy feels about me riding! The only difference is you aren't telling her how you feel about her riding. All I hear is "Why do you have to ride that thing? Don't you know they're death traps? I'm not going to cry at your funeral if you kill yourself! If you crash I'm gonna kill you! Be careful on that damn thing, it's the devil with a motorbike face! I hate that you ride that thing! I hate you when you ride that thing! I'm never going to get on one of those! HELL NO, I'm not going for a ride with you on THAT!"

Just keep your mouth shut, do the courses and have fun together!

Ps next time you see Amy, tell her to sell her psycho horse Briar Rose. It's the devil with a horse face! (Beware though, Amy will turn into the devil with a womans face when you do:laugh:)

[DEATH_INC.]

A little something extra to think about, My other half rides too, but is really not keen on pillioning, why? She has a daughter, and is shit scared that if we have a major off it'll take us BOTH out, leaving the little one with nobody. A bike doesn't maneuver or stop as well with 2 people on it.
Think about it :confused:

[scootnz]

My partner and I were each already riding when we met, but I still have felt occasional fear when he is away on long rides.

You learn to deal with the fear, and it is tempered by the knowledge that you could die in many other ways - I recall several instances of people walking on footpaths and being hit by out of control cars. You would think walking is a safe recreational pursuit. In a strange way that helps me deal with it.

I wish people would read your post properly - there were a few rabid women making assumptions...you already had some good advice amongst all those posts - the rider training is the best suggestion, and a focus on hazard identification on the roads. I'm about to learn to drive a car finally after 12 years riding - I figure my hazard scanning skills will come in handy...just have to learn how to park and reverse.

[Katman]

harden the fuck up... if it is her choice... be a man and tell her

"GREAT my love!!!"

give her ALL YOUR SUPPORT...

or fuck off and find another one (girlfriend)... why the fuck should YOU stop ANYONE from doing something that THEY want to do???

why are YOU so speical?? that only you can ride a bike but not her?????????

Understanding what you're reading isn't a strong point of yours, is it?

[MarkH]

It's funny - reading the replies from people that think you have no right to be concerned about someone getting hurt - like WTF?

I have friends that don't ride and I am loving riding - it doesn't mean I want to push everyone I know into getting bikes. With some friends I would be a bit worried if they got into riding - not everyone has the right skills/attitude for biking. But if someone I knew was keen to get into riding and I had doubts about their skillset for riding bikes then I would strongly recommend that they do an RRRS course and a defensive driving course and go along to the NASS thing on Wednesdays and maybe get a mentor if they would listen to one of them more than me. I would want them to become competent quickly before 'learning the hard way'.

To be honest I would love to have a girlfriend that rides, especially if she could ride as well as or better than me so I didn't have to worry unduly.

[elle-f]

no, i don't think you are being arrogant, I just think you are being....overly sensitive! She is your partner and you cannot take any responsibility for what happens. It may not of course but walking along the street can be fatal as well.

Let her make her own mind up about it. You do it.....

I haven't read all of the posts in this thread it is probably clear - but hell, riding bikes is the best thing ever! (I probably haven't helped)....at least she doesn't want to be a lap dancer in a sleazy joint!

[Dutchee]

My theory on life is when your time is up, you're not going to get away from it.
Doesn't mean, go tempting fate, just it's going to happen sometime.
Don't know if you saw a couple of days after the Air France crash, but someone was meant to be on that flight. They didn't make it, so hence didn't die. I think they were hit by a car and died a day or two after the crash. The timing wasn't quite right for them on the flight, but it wasn't far wrong either.
It's great that you care enough to worry. Take her to a school, buy her all the best gear you can.
When you're out riding with her in time, let her ride her ride and not try to ride yours.
I worry about my husband on every ride, and have had that phone call (just a minor, nothing serious). He's waiting for the day when I have to make that same phone call (we both hope it'll be me that makes the call). So far, I've only phoned to say "broke my clutch cable", "broke my bike", "run out of petrol" and "lost my key", and probably 1001 other calls when I've done the dumbass thing. He didn't need to know when I'd dropped my bike.
I do have to phone him before I leave work, as that way he's got a clue as to when to start worrying.
Oh, get her a bike she's comfortable on, can pick up. I'd recommend a naked one to start with, or even a bigger scooter (not a 50cc, I know how easy they are to dump, I dumped mine often because of the pissy little wheels).
Good luck with the hunt for the new bike & gear and hope you'll have a riding buddy soon :)
Michelle

[dpex]

So it's wrong to be concerned about someone else's welfare now?

:weird:

To be concerned for the welfare of another is a perfectly legitimate apprehension. However, to take such 'concern' to the point where the concerned presumes he has a right to interfere in the free thinking and action of the person about whom such concern is expressed, providing that person is not a child is, in fact, rendering such a person to a status of imbecile.

He who lets the world, or his own portion of it, choose his plan of life for him, has no need of any other faculty than the ape-like one of imitation.

Thus the person who, believing he sees a danger to another, and chooses to enforce protective measures, be they physical or the sanction of opinion is, in effect, repudiating the right of the individual to choose his own course and thus rendering that person to a position of ape-like imitation.

If you got your nose out of your socialistic arsehole and into some literature, Katman, a whole new world may just open up to you.

[Katman]

...blah, blah, blah.....

Fuck, you talk some shit.

[dpex]

Just to make it clear. I dont want to stop her. Im helping her in everyway I can. We are going to look at a bike tomorrow morning hopefully.

I just dont want to see her hurt. That is my problem.

Im not going to stop her doing anything. This thread is all about my stupid feelings. She just happens to be the reason for them. I know that and Im not going to stop her from doing anything.

I would feel guilty if she got herself killed is all. Really what I wanted was advice on how to deal with this.

The best advice available is as follows. 1. She is an adult and free to choose her own path. 2. You have no responsibility for any of her choices. 3. You have a responsibility to yourself for your own emotional safety. This last is, perhaps the one upon which you may wish to focus. And, despite the howls I expect to reveal from the following statements, they remain legitimate.

a. Presuming you love this person, her death would cause you significant agony. Can you face that?

b. Should she become involved in a serious crash and ends up in a physical or mental state requiring your extreme attention in both time and money you would, again, suffer serious penalty....should you choose to stay by her side. Can you face that?

Naturally, she is, at this moment, in exactly the same position, but perhaps has never considered it. Have you faced that?

Do you believe she will stay by your side should you become a vegetable resulting from a bike crash?

Do you believe she should stay by your side after such an event?


Have you ever discussed these issues?

However, what would you reactions to the foregoing if she died from choking on a peanut? And what are the chances of that happening.

The fact is, well over 40,000 Kiwis die each year, Very few of them from motorbike accidents and even less from peanut choke.

Perhaps you should caution your good lady to stop breathing thus to minimize her chances of contracting Swine flu, followed by complications and inevitable death.

And, whatever you do, DO NOT, take her on holiday to view the art-works in Israel. She could end up as hamburger from a bomber's bomb.

The point I'm striving to make is; where do you stop protecting yourself from the loss of one whom you love. Answer? Anywhere just short of limiting that person's freedom to act according to his/her freedom of will which, when exercised, is done so in a manner which is not designed to cause harm to another.

[Katman]

...blah, blah, blah......

All I read in the original post was someone concerned for the safety of his partner and asking for advice as to how he could improve her safety.

All I've seen from you is calling him an arrogant prick.

:tugger:

[dpex]

Fuck, you talk some shit.

Yes. Well. I'm not blessed with the brain of a palsied sparrow, so I can easily accept that words beyond the monosyllabic are more than a mild challenge to you ability understand.

I fully accept that all societies must have those who clean the dunnies and those who invent the dunnies. But the cleaners should think carefully before commenting on the designer, or his design.

[_Shrek_]

I'm just totally amazed that sundry of the 'ladies' here haven't screamed.

Allow me, on their behalf. YOU ARROGANT PRICK!

Where did you get the right to PRESUME' the girl can't learn to ride, and maybe even better than you.

It's not you, nor her parents, of any other arsehole with innate mysoginistic feelings which matter here. Here is a PERSON, not a female, who wants to ride.

Would you have the same reservations if it was your little brother wanting to ride? Nope!

But the 'little woman' barefoot, pregnant and at the stove, as all good shielas should be, but doesn't want to be, freaks you out, Right?

You arrogant prick!

I can't believe I'm reading such shit in 2009!

well dpex I thank the Lord you're not a female, you don't know these two as we do & your comments shows that you are a "pc snag" who needs to harden up, we need more like him who are not afraid to ask a Q &
for info she is getting a bike just a matter of when but she is getting lessons

[crazyhorse]

Maybe she needs to be taught by someone whom she fully respects (not saying it wouldn't be you), but I was taught by a really great rider here in HB, and he taught me alot of things outside the square, not just how to ride a bike, but to look out for unexpected things, where to go into corners, how to handle skids etc.

You might be surprised - she may be more attentive on a bike than in the comfort zone of a car. I know some guys that are shocking drivers in cars, but are different on bikes - you've got to give her a chance.

I understand your concerm, but hey, she may find its not really what she wants anyway.

[BigGuy]

Pretty much all I've read from these posts is that this guy obviously cares for his partner - deeply. Like this guy has said, he has no intention of stopping her riding.

Oh - that and the fact the almost everyone thinks your being a prat dpex! Lighten up fella.... no need to get all overly PC.

I would be worried for my wife and daughter also if they chose to ride. It's called being human - it's natural to want to protect the ones you love.


I'm just totally amazed that sundry of the 'ladies' here haven't screamed.

Allow me, on their behalf. YOU ARROGANT PRICK!

Where did you get the right to PRESUME' the girl can't learn to ride, and maybe even better than you.

It's not you, nor her parents, of any other arsehole with innate mysoginistic feelings which matter here. Here is a PERSON, not a female, who wants to ride.

Would you have the same reservations if it was your little brother wanting to ride? Nope!

But the 'little woman' barefoot, pregnant and at the stove, as all good shielas should be, but doesn't want to be, freaks you out, Right?

You arrogant prick!

I can't believe I'm reading such shit in 2009!

[h20boy]

To be concerned for the welfare of another is a perfectly legitimate apprehension. However, to take such 'concern' to the point where the concerned presumes he has a right to interfere in the free thinking and action of the person about whom such concern is expressed, providing that person is not a child is, in fact, rendering such a person to a status of imbecile.

He who lets the world, or his own portion of it, choose his plan of life for him, has no need of any other faculty than the ape-like one of imitation.

Thus the person who, believing he sees a danger to another, and chooses to enforce protective measures, be they physical or the sanction of opinion is, in effect, repudiating the right of the individual to choose his own course and thus rendering that person to a position of ape-like imitation.

If you got your nose out of your socialistic arsehole and into some literature, Katman, a whole new world may just open up to you.

Firstly, Dpex, if you intend to reference someone elses creative thought...at least disclose the real authors name so as not to be a plagiarising arsehole as well as a thread stealing, egotistical wank.

I am in exactly the same position with my partner. I desperately wanted her to get into riding as much as I am so that we could share the experiences. I bought her good gear, I've bought bike to bike comms and anything else I thought might help her get into it...problem is now she has, I'm filled with an all consuming fear of what might happen to her. I'm dealing with it my way but good on you for asking the question...know you are not the only one :)

[Bounce001]

Get her a bike she will be comfortable on and is able to pick it up if dropped. Get her into a riding course and let her take things at her own pace. When riding together let her go behind you to follow your lines etc. Riding in front of you will make her nervous.

As the headline in the NZ Herald said "Recipe for a Successful Marriage - Separate Motorcycles".

[zoom]

I am the worlds worst driver cage or two wheeler no matter how hard I try and despite MANY near misses of all sorts I am somehow still alive and kicking. Its not that I deliberately try to be bad I just mis judge things, or dont think about them until way too late. Like going into corners too fast, thinking I can easily turn before that car reaches me, just not seeing things in general. I guess my point is that sometimes your just a naturally bad driver. I just figure that if I do go down on a bike Im just taking myself out and not anyone else (hopefully) as I would most probably do in a car! Just forget about the danger and enjoy it while you can. Besides from the bike crashes I know it was not the bikers driving that put them down but a cage not seeing them and taking them out in which case there wasnt much the biker could have done anyway even with Rossi style skills.

[helenoftroy]

Ive meet the lovely Sexy Lexy(spuds lady)and she is just so keen and excited about this!

You are doing all you can Alex,to make the getting into bikes as safe as you possibly can.You asked at the party for some help and support with buddying and we will all do that..... absolutely:2thumbsup

Im going to infiltrate the 250cc girls ChCh group on Sams CBR250R so I will ride with her!:devil2:


I can see her excitement bout bikes and hope she gets as much pleasure from it as we all do:wari::wari:

[BiK3RChiK]

I am the worlds worst driver cage or two wheeler no matter how hard I try and despite MANY near misses of all sorts I am somehow still alive and kicking. Its not that I deliberately try to be bad I just mis judge things, or dont think about them until way too late. Like going into corners too fast, thinking I can easily turn before that car reaches me, just not seeing things in general. I guess my point is that sometimes your just a naturally bad driver. I just figure that if I do go down on a bike Im just taking myself out and not anyone else (hopefully) as I would most probably do in a car! Just forget about the danger and enjoy it while you can. Besides from the bike crashes I know it was not the bikers driving that put them down but a cage not seeing them and taking them out in which case there wasnt much the biker could have done anyway even with Rossi style skills.

Girl, you gotta get a clue! Seriously, this is a dangerous attitude! Not just to you but to every other road user out there. For goodness sake! Go and get some proper training!

[Katman]

Besides from the bike crashes I know it was not the bikers driving that put them down but a cage not seeing them and taking them out in which case there wasnt much the biker could have done anyway even with Rossi style skills.

Believe that at your own peril.

As Bikerchick says, get some training.

Becoming more observant and making better decisions is something that you can train yourself to do. Your blase attitude towards driving/riding is so totally wrong on every level imaginable.

[zoom]

I didnt mean to come across as blase about bike safety. More I was just trying to make the point that sometimes it isn't going to be your fault if you do come down and sometimes unfortunately even good riding skills aren't going to prevent an ugly outcome. I know I am a bad rider, Im only in the 250's still and obviously I have a long way to go before I become a better rider. But what I meant I guess though it didn't translate was that I am bad now and the only way to get better is to learn through not going through the what if's and letting my lack of skills stop me. I hit gravel while riding out by Clevedon a bit ago and the whole bike slid out and i had to slam my leg down to stop it, i honestly thought I was going to come down. That was fine but the next time I went out I was scared shitless and it was the fear that made me ride way worse then I had ever ridden before to the point of being really un natural in corners and taking them too fast or breaking too abruptly and awkwardly, also being really jerkey in everything especially down shifting. So really what I was getting at is that trial and error makes you a better rider even if your bad, you learn from the bad and slowly start to understand how to ride at least I am hoping I am slowly learning mind you not having any time to get out ever is a major buffer block in the progress...

[JMemonic]

One of the companies in town that does the basic handling test has a deal on, $250 for the basic handling and 4 hours of extra tuition after you have you licence, we are going for that option.

Then there is all the support you have locally, hell mate you know if you need a hand there were a few folks on the development weekend we did that would gladly help out, also a certain mechanic who workshop we use for maintenance nights used to be a riding tutor, you both could ask him for a hand.

I do understand how you feel a bit, I am honestly nervous as hell about Kerry learning to ride, but excited too it will be something we can do together which is always good.

You imho have shown a great deal of care and concern in asking the question, riding will make her a better driver, no doubt there, forget the naysayers and idiots slagging you off they don't know you and by their attitudes (aside from their locations) never will.

Besides you have already given her time on a bike in a paddock so that's a good start.

[thecharmed01]

Well, from a girls point of view, my bf is feeling exactly the same as you are.
He loves riding, but me riding scares the crap out of him. He tells me all the time how much he worries when I am out on the bike and he cant see me, but he didnt ever try to stop me. In fact he made sure I had all the safety gear I needed, he picked me out a bike to purchase and he is frequently doublechecking the parts on it.

When I told him I wanted to ride, the first thing he did was make sure that he spent a lot of time with me teaching me how to ride, and got me involved in a group with a range of skills, from very experienced, to reasonably new riders so that I could learn different things from different people and not just have him over my shoulder driving me mad.
There is nothing worse than someone you love teaching you to drive/ride because it just breeds arguments LOL
Other people, who are experienced riders, are ideal to hook her up with as far as riding buddies go as then they can give her the advice she may not recieve so well from you - like the innattention thing. You bring it up and she will probably go postal on your ass, but if a mate brings it up, she wont be as hurt or as upset by it.

I think you should encourage her to learn to ride, put her through lessons, help her choose good quality gear and start her on a low powered bike - even if it is a cheap one - that she will be able to handle easily. Something she can reach the ground on and can manage to pick up if she drops it. I dont know about other ladies, but those two little things have made the difference for me whether I stuck with riding or not.
Initially I chose myself a big bike, and I couldnt get confident on it as I couldnt reach the ground (yes me = midget) and if it fell, I wouldnt be able to lift it back up again. My bf moving me to a smaller bike, was amazing, and now I am looking at a bigger bike as I have built up my strength a bit and am getting a lot more confident. So next year I will probably upgrade to a bigger more powerful bike.

Good on you for caring enough to be worried, but at the end of the day, she is her own person and likely is that if you dont support her, she will either resent you and kick you to the kerb, or she will defy you and do it anyway and probably choose gear/bike that doesnt suit her if she doesnt have enough knowledge or people around to advice her on what will suit her best.

[BiK3RChiK]

I know I am a bad rider, Im only in the 250's still and obviously I have a long way to go before I become a better rider. [snip]the only way to get better is to [snip] I hit gravel while riding out by Clevedon a bit ago and the whole bike slid out and i had to slam my leg down to stop it, i honestly thought I was going to come down. That was fine but the next time I went out I was scared shitless and it was the fear that made me ride way worse then I had ever ridden before [snip] So really what I was getting at is that trial and error makes you a better rider even if your bad, [snip]

Zoom, I strongly suggest you get a mentor and also get some proper tuition. You will feel much better on your bike almost instantly with some constructive input from a tutor.

Your posts are just frightening to read. You seem to be an accident waiting to happen. You don't want to injure yourself or someone else and have to suffer for the rest of your life because of it.

For your own benefit, get some tuition and a mentor!

[hayd3n]

Zoom,
It is said that only a fool learns from his/her own mistakes, a wise man /woman learn from the mistakes of others.

[dpex]

It is said that only a fool learns from his/her own mistakes, a wise man /woman learn from the mistakes of others.

I wish to disagree. No man, no woman, no child, learns vicariously. All learning is completed from hands-on involvement with the subject.

Tell a child to 'not' touch 'because' and the child will touch because he/she 'needs' first-hand experience.

If mankind learned from the mistakes of his forebears we would, by now, have an almost perfect society.

It is noteworthy that todays' society is repeating the mistakes of the previous.

I wonder why? No I don't. Because the answer was given above.

All wish to learn from their own mistakes, not some judgment given down from on high from a parent, lover, teacher, politician, or mentor.

Which is why, 10,000 years on since mankind got a bit of a grip on life, some are still killing, many are still cheating, and a shit-load more still can't see the value in simple and reasonable cooperation, one with the other.

[Spuds1234]

Ive meet the lovely Sexy Lexy(spuds lady)and she is just so keen and excited about this!

You are doing all you can Alex,to make the getting into bikes as safe as you possibly can.You asked at the party for some help and support with buddying and we will all do that..... absolutely:2thumbsup

Im going to infiltrate the 250cc girls ChCh group on Sams CBR250R so I will ride with her!:devil2:


I can see her excitement bout bikes and hope she gets as much pleasure from it as we all do:wari::wari:

Its to late now for me to stop her now. She's about to be the brand new owner of a 1999 FXR150 that has less than 10k on the clock.


One of the companies in town that does the basic handling test has a deal on, $250 for the basic handling and 4 hours of extra tuition after you have you licence, we are going for that option.

Then there is all the support you have locally, hell mate you know if you need a hand there were a few folks on the development weekend we did that would gladly help out, also a certain mechanic who workshop we use for maintenance nights used to be a riding tutor, you both could ask him for a hand.

I do understand how you feel a bit, I am honestly nervous as hell about Kerry learning to ride, but excited too it will be something we can do together which is always good.

You imho have shown a great deal of care and concern in asking the question, riding will make her a better driver, no doubt there, forget the naysayers and idiots slagging you off they don't know you and by their attitudes (aside from their locations) never will.

Besides you have already given her time on a bike in a paddock so that's a good start.

I didnt know you could get extra tuition after the handling cert. Which school does it, and what do people say about it? I remember my handling cert. Hell I reckon I could have passed it without even practicing for it.

I dont want to ask for to much help down here because I know that everyone is pretty busy. I would rather see her go on the Wednesday night ride where I can ask her very nicely if someone else can ride behind her so I can go and have some fun (not to much though. I wouldnt want to worry her with some caviler riding).


Well, from a girls point of view, my bf is feeling exactly the same as you are.
He loves riding, but me riding scares the crap out of him. He tells me all the time how much he worries when I am out on the bike and he cant see me, but he didnt ever try to stop me. In fact he made sure I had all the safety gear I needed, he picked me out a bike to purchase and he is frequently doublechecking the parts on it.

When I told him I wanted to ride, the first thing he did was make sure that he spent a lot of time with me teaching me how to ride, and got me involved in a group with a range of skills, from very experienced, to reasonably new riders so that I could learn different things from different people and not just have him over my shoulder driving me mad.
There is nothing worse than someone you love teaching you to drive/ride because it just breeds arguments LOL
Other people, who are experienced riders, are ideal to hook her up with as far as riding buddies go as then they can give her the advice she may not recieve so well from you - like the innattention thing. You bring it up and she will probably go postal on your ass, but if a mate brings it up, she wont be as hurt or as upset by it.

I think you should encourage her to learn to ride, put her through lessons, help her choose good quality gear and start her on a low powered bike - even if it is a cheap one - that she will be able to handle easily. Something she can reach the ground on and can manage to pick up if she drops it. I dont know about other ladies, but those two little things have made the difference for me whether I stuck with riding or not.
Initially I chose myself a big bike, and I couldnt get confident on it as I couldnt reach the ground (yes me = midget) and if it fell, I wouldnt be able to lift it back up again. My bf moving me to a smaller bike, was amazing, and now I am looking at a bigger bike as I have built up my strength a bit and am getting a lot more confident. So next year I will probably upgrade to a bigger more powerful bike.

Good on you for caring enough to be worried, but at the end of the day, she is her own person and likely is that if you dont support her, she will either resent you and kick you to the kerb, or she will defy you and do it anyway and probably choose gear/bike that doesnt suit her if she doesnt have enough knowledge or people around to advice her on what will suit her best.

You sum up what Im trying to say and what Im trying to do the best. Why couldnt you be here at the start of the thread. It might have kept Dpex out lol. I think your spot on about things if I tried to tell her not to be inattentive and she went postal. I remember when I started riding. I would avoid town traffic because I simply couldnt pay attention to everything at once. Now I can afford to not pay attention to a few things because I either do it automatically, or they are so low on the list of priorities that I only need to check them periodically.


It is said that only a fool learns from his/her own mistakes, a wise man /woman learn from the mistakes of others.

I agree. You might not be able to learn everything that the person learnt that made the mistake, but you can sure as hell see the repercussions of not doing something and then not do it yourself.

[Simon]

My partner doesn't moto, but we've been pushie-cycling together for a few years. I don't think you ever get over the protective instinct. I have to bite my tounge a bit, but given the right opportunity i'll always try and offer a bit of advice. (Timing and tact is key!)

I think a similar thing happened between my father and myself this year. I know my folks did not want me to get into riding. But having rekindled their love of bikes at 60, they couldn't really say no...

But i totally respect him for not stepping on my goal, or trying to talk me out of it. I knew he disapproved, but at the same time he was really excited to have someone else share in his passion.

For Dad, it was all about making sure i had some good riding books/sites to read, went out with the right people, bought the best gear i could, and always always rode within myself - no matter what others were doing.

Consequently i've had a fantastic start to the sport. No scares so far, and i plan to keep it that way. Your partner will be fine mate - Just make sure she realises there is a lot to learn.

And you'll always worry about her - Thats why you're together :)

[hayd3n]

I wish to disagree. No man, no woman, no child, learns vicariously. All learning is completed from hands-on involvement with the subject.
all learning?
i went to skool

Tell a child to 'not' touch 'because' and the child will touch because he/she 'needs' first-hand experience.
but if the child saw another child touch said item and saw the consequences the child can observe and may learn


If mankind learned from the mistakes of his forebears we would, by now, have an almost perfect society.
define perfect it never will be

It is noteworthy that todays' society is repeating the mistakes of the previous.
society not individuals



Which is why, 10,000 years on since mankind got a bit of a grip on life, some are still killing, many are still cheating, and a shit-load more still can't see the value in simple and reasonable cooperation, one with the other.
yes simply because they are fools but not all

[thecharmed01]

You sum up what Im trying to say and what Im trying to do the best. Why couldnt you be here at the start of the thread. It might have kept Dpex out lol. I think your spot on about things if I tried to tell her not to be inattentive and she went postal.

Hehe sorry man, next time you post, hit me in a pm and send me in this direction... I'll save your ass with sensibleness LOL
:bash:
(Sorry, had to be done though!)

I taught my sister to drive because I am an educator and saw the consequences of my fathers attempt at teaching her.....

I have also found that if my partner offers me advice, it frequently gets my heckles up whereas someone else saying the same thing, I listen to. Stubborn? Yes. Pigheaded? A little. But only to my darling partner LOL :argh:
Anyone else I am good at listening to LOL

[BiK3RChiK]

I have also found that if my partner offers me advice, it frequently gets my heckles up whereas someone else saying the same thing, I listen to. Stubborn? Yes. Pigheaded? A little. But only to my darling partner LOL :argh:
Anyone else I am good at listening to LOL

Hahahahaha..... You too! :whistle:

[NDORFN]

I have also found that if my partner offers me advice, it frequently gets my heckles up whereas someone else saying the same thing, I listen to. Stubborn? Yes. Pigheaded? A little. But only to my darling partner LOL :argh:
Anyone else I am good at listening to LOL

I would start wearing a stab-proof vest if I were you.

[thecharmed01]

Bwahahahahahaha only if I come at him with scissors though right? :dodge:

[Spuds1234]

I felt like digging this up for shits and giggles.

Just to fill you in (like you all care anyway lol) the other half has got a bike (she got it 2 weeks ago).

Its a fxr with 9000km on the clock, its a great bike for her and she loves it. Shes been practicing lots on it and is doing well.

The thing that surprised me (and Im happy to say it), is that the fact that she is riding doesnt worry me at all now that she is doing it. I did feel a hell of a lot better after we went shopping for gloves and a helmet with her money and somehow I ended up paying a small fortune for a jacket for her aswell. Still dont know how she managed that one but thats life I suppose.

She now has good gear, a good bike, and seems to have a good attitude to riding so heres hoping she keeps it shiny side up and has a long and prosperous future in motorcycles ahead of her.

[ajturbo]

I felt like digging this up for shits and giggles.

Just to fill you in (like you all care anyway lol) the other half has got a bike (she got it 2 weeks ago).

Its a fxr with 9000km on the clock, its a great bike for her and she loves it. Shes been practicing lots on it and is doing well.

The thing that surprised me (and Im happy to say it), is that the fact that she is riding doesnt worry me at all now that she is doing it. I did feel a hell of a lot better after we went shopping for gloves and a helmet with her money and somehow I ended up paying a small fortune for a jacket for her aswell. Still dont know how she managed that one but thats life I suppose.

She now has good gear, a good bike, and seems to have a good attitude to riding so heres hoping she keeps it shiny side up and has a long and prosperous future in motorcycles ahead of her.
that is great matey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

give her all the encouragement you can !!!

but make sure you BOTH have fun!!!!

hell by summer time she will want to race it!!! :Punk:

[BiK3RChiK]

Hahahaha.... A true woman! :clap:

Isn't it ironic how the reality is often much better than our fears are telling us it will be.:rockon:

[Spuds1234]

Isn't it ironic how the reality is often much better than our fears are telling us it will be.:rockon:

Expect the best but plan for the worst I think.

[PrincessBandit]

I felt like digging this up for shits and giggles.

Just to fill you in (like you all care anyway lol) the other half has got a bike (she got it 2 weeks ago).

Its a fxr with 9000km on the clock, its a great bike for her and she loves it. Shes been practicing lots on it and is doing well.

The thing that surprised me (and Im happy to say it), is that the fact that she is riding doesnt worry me at all now that she is doing it. I did feel a hell of a lot better after we went shopping for gloves and a helmet with her money and somehow I ended up paying a small fortune for a jacket for her aswell. Still dont know how she managed that one but thats life I suppose.

She now has good gear, a good bike, and seems to have a good attitude to riding so heres hoping she keeps it shiny side up and has a long and prosperous future in motorcycles ahead of her.

Great to hear that it has turned out to be not as bad for you once it became a reality. The fxr is a great choice (wanted to go for one of those myself initially as i did my bhc on one). Encourage her to take things easy, go out at quiet times on the road or over to an deserted car park and practice the things she did on the course. I must admit once I had my L the carpark practicing was still really important!

Be encouraging but realistic with comments you may make to her regarding how she's doing and remember - set a good example! :yes: Sounds like that's what you're doing anyway.
:woohoo:

[Spuds1234]

Heh she hasnt done a course yet. She will do though. Still have to do the basic handling cert (getting time off is a bitch), and the bike still needs to be rego'ed and warrented (being part time and studying is a bitch to).

Still I think everyone is right chuffed as to how things worked out.

[BiK3RChiK]

Stoked for you dood!:sunny:

[thecharmed01]

Stoked for you dood!:sunny:

Absolutely!!

Glad it has all come together nicely!!!