I am a reasonable man

[Forest]

I have tried to live my life according to the rules. I respect the rule of law and understand that it is the thin line which separates us from anarchy and chaos.

Which is why, motherfucker, I will make it my life's mission to hunt you down and make you suffer. :angry:

My needs may seem simple, but they are a necessary part of me. In many ways they define me.

When I work up this morning, I began the Sunday morning routine which I have followed for many years. It began with a cup of tea which was followed a trip to the supermarket.

As I wandered around the aisles, my mind stepped through the motions that would shortly bring me to a state of absolute pleasure and fulfillment. I mentally turned the knob to a fraction over five, checked to make sure the crumpet switch was turned off, and pushed down the lever. My imagination was vivid and I could see, taste, and smell my reward popping up from the toaster before lashings of butter were applied to its crisp yet moist exterior.

But I only got to enjoy it in my imagination. You miserable cock-sucker! Because when my back was turned you pinched my bloody Fruit Toast from the trolley! And when i went back to the rack there was none left. :mad: :mad: :mad:

When I find you, you miserable piece of trash, I will make suffer for the remainder of your short and miserable life.

No jury will ever convict me.

For I am a reasonable man.

[Forest]

Damnit! Wrong forum.

If somebody could move this to Rant & Rave, I would be very grateful.

[shafty]

CCTV is your friend............

[Mort]

Armed response is required... A man has a right to protect his fruit loaf.

the bastards are every where

[Toaster]

I had fruit loaf for breakfast.

I can understand the motivation behind people nicking purses and car keys off trolleys in the supermarket, but other peoples fruit loaf????!!!!!

I hope it was well past its use-by date.

[justsomeguy]

Sorry, didn't think you wanted it.

I shall post you the remains after carefully extracting them tomorrow morning.

[davebullet]

that tag says it all :laugh:

[Usarka]

Senility is settling in. You only think you remember putting it in the trolley.

Kick yourself in the balls.

[crazyhorse]

Yummmmm..... fruit loaf.

Tasted good alright :yes:

[crazyhorse]

Then again - you live in Melbourne - what do you expect???

[Mschvs]

Passionate words ..... got any friends in high places? I.e. manager at the supermarket??

[scracha]

Find a victim. Take 10 identical items off the shelf. Put them on the top of your trolley. Now swap trolleys.

They normally don't notice. Saves hours of shopping.

You've gotta try this.

[steve_t]

What a fucking wanker! Who does that sort of thing?!! You obviously had the fruit loaf first! Just goes to show that you can't turn your back, even for a second or someone will mess with your shit. What a crap ass world it's becoming :angry2:
I remember one time at the snow, putting my sunglasses on the bench next to my leg. I tied my boot lace up and the sunnies were gone :angry:

[Colapop]

How much fruit toast do you want? I happen to know a bead supplier... Shipping to Oz may be an issue... ;)

[kiwifruit]

It was a blessing in disguise. Bread is bad, it will only glue you up.

:sunny:

[Pussy]

It was a blessing in disguise. Bread is bad, it will only glue you up.

:sunny:
You're giving very bad advice, kiwifruit.
Next you'll be saying that pies and lager are bad for you.....

[Swoop]

It's more entertaining than grabbing a few boxes of condoms and lubricant, then quietly putting them into other shopping trolleys. Supermarkets. Full of fun (and retards who block the fuckin' aisle).:ar15:

[wybmadiity]

It was a blessing in disguise. Bread is bad, it will only glue you up.

:sunny:

Unless it's homemade fruity bread ;)

[007XX]

It's more entertaining than grabbing a few boxes of condoms and lubricant, then quietly putting them into other shopping trolleys. Supermarkets. Full of fun (and retards who block the fuckin' aisle).:ar15:

Way more fun if you put it in the trolley of a mother/ teenage daughter team...Looks derived will range from pure disgust to utter shame :clap:

Or moving the trolley away by a meter while a person is facing the shelves.

You're right, stupidmarkets are fun. And fruit bread is good for you, after all it is two food groups in one, innit? :innocent:

[nudemetalz]

I happen to know a bead supplier... Shipping to Oz may be an issue... ;)


Is that a bead in the scope for the sniper-rifle to take out the fruit-loaf thief..?

[Conquiztador]

Learn to bake. Then you can put all the shit you want in the bread

[kiwifruit]

Unless it's homemade fruity bread ;)

Home made is just as bad for gluing up one's bowels :girlfight:

[tri boy]

Any man that openly admits to eating fruit loaf deserves to be anally assaulted in the bread isle by a recently released sexual predator named Carver.
I'm sure you would howl in protest:rolleyes:

[Bass]

Home made is just as bad for gluing up one's bowels :girlfight:

Actually the stuff my wife makes seems to have the reverse effect - kinda like rocket fuel.
A feed of toast for breakfast and by lunchtime I can sit at my computer without needing a chair.